Free To Be

Single Best Thing.

2012-01-13T15:01:00.000-05:00

I have been going through the (long, arduous, next to impossible) process of “reflecting” on my 2011 and planning my goals to 2012. Truly, at the rate I am going, it will be nearly 2013 before I get around to setting my vision for this year, but anyway…I’m trying. One of the blogs that I love www.simplemom.net, posed a number of questions to help with both processes and I have been plowing my way through those as I go. It may take a bit more time, but I thought I would share some of the process as I go (plus that will make it easier next year when I decide to do this again).

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

This one stumped me for a while. I am very much a glass half empty kind of gal (shocking revelation, I realize) so it was hard to come up with something that was good enough to write about. Waking up every day is a pretty good thing. Being in the best shape of my life is a pretty good thing. Getting one of the very few (itty bitty) monetary awards given at work this year was sort of nice, watching K do so well this summer and win the 8U county championship in butterfly was cool but wasn’t something that I had anything to do with except to cheer like a fool. Doing so much officiating last year was a good thing. Vacation at the shore was nice. But THE best thing? Hard to come up with.

The other night while B was helping me with one of the questions that a spouse is supposed to answer (see #6), he pointed me in the direction where my answer lay. And I can say with reasonable confidence that the single best thing that happened this year was repairing/renewing/rejuvenating my relationship with my sister and her family. As anyone who knows me knows, this difficult period in our relationship which on hind sight had to no good cause but can probably be chalked up to bilateral stress and stubbornness, was so painful for me. I worried about it, I thought about it way too much. It bothered me and it bothered K who didn’t understand why, if she and her cousins could get along, their parents could not. I missed hearing about and seeing pictures of my nieces. I am a terrible pray-er but this is one area about which I prayed consistently nearly every day…asking God to make things right again or show me the way to fix things. I knew that I couldn’t do it, that He would have to do it for us.

And then Kocoa died. And she reached out. And in my sadness, I SO appreciated that short e-mail and told her so. And from there, we started to e-mail a little. And then they planned a trip to PA for a race and a visit and we e-mailed a little more. And then they were here and it was a little…awkward...at first. But by the time they left, it had gotten so much better and more relaxed and “normal” and overall I was so very pleased with how the visit went. We never talked about what happened or didn’t happen and I don’t think we need to…as far as I am concerned it is just water under the bridge and a new relationship started to replace the old. This is one thing I actually succeeded in putting in God’s hands and He showed me unequivocally why that is such a good idea.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Another tough one to pin down. It was a year of challenges (aren’t they all)? There were some financial challenges, some health challenges, some professional challenges, etc. This fall, I found myself screwing around on my own (i.e., without consulting an actual doctor) with various and sundry prescribed medications to try and 1) prove that I don’t need them and/or 2) limit the side effects such as migraines. So I stopped taking one thing that I have been on forever for my PMDD and anxiety and…essentially melted down in all sectors, especially at work. I stopped sleeping, my anxiety went through the roof, I was short tempered, irritable, and cried at the drop of a hat. And I was still getting migraines 2 or 3 a week. And then the whole “thing” happened at work and I was exhausted and totally ill equipped to deal with it like the semi-mature, semi-professional person that I claim to be. It was ugly and I still dread coming to work more often than is probably healthy. I did finally see my family doctor during the height of the mess, admitted what I had done with the meds and why, and agreed that while it was not the dumbest move in the history of dumb moves it probably ranked pretty high. It has taken a couple of months to get things smoothed out medically but equilibrium has once again been achieved. The anxiety is back to being readily manageable, I’m sleeping much better, and I’ve stopped crying every time someone looks at me sideways. I’m debating what to do about work (if anything) to make me dread it less but I may have to reserve that for my 2012 planning.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

See my response to No.1 But also…coaching.

LJ’s call came at the start of school, as I was already mourning the loss of my role as substitute worship leader at my church. Up until that summer, I had fancied myself sort of an assistant to our music director. I played and led worship whenever she wasn’t there, I suggested music, I pulled and filed music for her and the band, etc. I thought I was pretty good at what I did. Then they decided to hire someone in that role officially but made it the position unpalatable and arranged the application process in such a way that it was clear that I had no shot at it should I apply. Rightly or wrongly, I felt like a door had been slammed in my face.

Then I picked up the phone one day and was offered a position as assistant swim coach with K’s team. Say what? I promised I would think about it and then proceeded to freak out. I had ZERO coaching experience, one year of actual involvement in competitive swimming after a 20 year break, and when I did swim myself it wasn’t like I every set the world on fire. I dropped out of the “elite” ranks at about age 12 and quit all but summer and synchro shortly thereafter. So, my initial reaction was confusion and terror.

I worked hard on squashing the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts – sorry while I get all psychbabble on you) that plague me and talked myself down off the ledge. In early September, with encouragement from the people that matter most – B, K, my sister, and my parents – I took the plunge. I decided to do something that doesn’t come overly easy for me – believing in myself – and trusted in JS’s recommendation, LJ’s belief that I could do it, and my husband’s faith in me and accepted the job. Most importantly though, I trusted in God’s plan for me. I came to believe, strongly, that if that other door had indeed been closed, God was opening a window right in front of me. So I climbed on through.

And coaching? I have discovered I love it.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Unexpected? I think lack of time and energy is the biggest obstacle I faced all year, but that certainly wasn’t unexpected. I guess see, #2 - I never expected the physical and mental fall-out from one ill advised medical decision.

5. Pick three words to describe 2011

The first three I picked were: anxious, hectic, and tiring. I think in further contemplation I’d like to change those to: busy, unexpected, and blessed.

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011

Again, my first three were: anxious, disappointing, and hectic. His actual words were: busy, new challenges (see #3), and renewal (see #1).

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe his 2011

Busy, stimulating, blessed. He is disgustingly positive.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

I’m not sure I can pick the best books…I’ve read so many this year, most of them fluff. How about I list my three favorite authors from this year instead? 1) Richard Paul Evans – he was a new addition to my list of faves. His books are simple and sweet yet compelling. I read a ton by him and listened to several as well. Some of my favorites this year were The Walk series, Michael Vey, and Lost December. 2) Jane Austen – I listened to (does that count?) several of her books this year. I’ve always loved Pride and Prejudice, but now I also love Emma and Persuasion. 3) Brad Thor – thankfully Thor redeemed himself after the last less-than-super effort. Full Black was great.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

B, obviously; K too – she constantly teaches me new things, makes me appreciate everything, and broaches what turn out to be the most interesting topics of conversation; my parents – I am so grateful to have them in my life; my sister and her family. Also, I value my friends J, H, and M at work – they supported me through the whole mess and listened to my whining and complaining without walking out on me even once. H even had to deal with tears a few times, poor guy.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December?

I think adjusting to getting up so much earlier every day was hard. Does that count? With the addition of Pippy to our family, I committed to walking her every morning before work/church/whatever. On work in the office days, it means getting up at 3:20am. On work at home days, it means getting up at 4:30am or earlier. It is only about 30 minutes earlier than I used to get up to get to the gym and to work on time, but it made a big difference.

11. In what ways did you grow emotionally?

I have gotten SO much better at quieting that mean little voice in my head and squashing the ANTs. I still have a long way to go to make it a life style though. I also made some good strides in accepting and embracing things the way they are right now and thanking God for the opportunity. Also, I have gotten better at accepting a certain level of dirt and disorder in my house in exchange for time with my family or sleep. There are entire work weeks that go by without me vacuuming even once.

12. In what ways did you grow spiritually?

I don’t feel like I did, actually. It has been a “dark night of the soul” kind of year, faith wise.

13. In what ways did you grow physically?

I have gotten much faster and stronger in the pool in the last 5 months or so since I started to actually do some endurance training. I am still old and slow and will make a total a$$ out of myself this weekend, but…I’m faster and stronger than I was before.

14. In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others?

I think overall, my relationships suffered (see, #2 and 1^st part of #3) because I don’t spend a lot of time building them, but some of them, like with B and my sister grew stronger.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Enjoyable professional work? Sigh. The best part of working at home without a doubt is having K come into my office when she wakes up, all warm and sleepy, and climb on my lap for a morning snuggle. That is the best part of my professional work and of my professional work at home. The most enjoyable part of my home work, besides hugging the sweetest, most wonderful little girl every day, was spending time learning how to coach 8-11 year olds. I also really like walking Pippi every day too. It is very quiet in our neighborhood at 3:30am which makes for good contemplation. Plus, she makes me laugh.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Asked and answered re: professional challenges. Home? Having time to do everything I wanted to do or that I felt like I needed to do. I may now be able to leave the floor unvacuumed for days at a time, but I’m still get frustrated now and again that the house didn’t magically clean itself while I was busy on a pool deck. The whole thing with church/music was tough as well.

17. What was your single biggest time waster this past year?

Facebook!

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Coaching and getting to know the kids I coach. I love them all. Some of them I like more than others, but I do love them all.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

I CAN be a good coach. I know how very much I need to learn but I can actually teach these young kids how to do their strokes correctly! Also, life doesn’t end b/c the floor is dirty.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

Disappointment often leads to new opportunities. Also: This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

My day so far, or why I love Friday the 13th

2012-01-13T13:35:00.000-05:00

2:30am- wake up with horrid headache, get up, take 2 motrin, get back in bed, tell dog to get back in bed.

2:35am – realize it is a migraine and it’s not going away with 2 motrin, get up, take Imitrex, turn off alarm clock, get back in bed, tell dog to get back in bed.

2:37am-3:00am- lay in bed moaning and whining like a dying person.

4:30am – wake up drenched in sweat like I had a fever and it just broke, think about getting up to start work, fall back to sleep.

5:00am-wake up to B telling me he is going to the gym, tell dog to get back in bed, hear a loud thump, but no other noises, doze back off.

5:05am – wake up again to B coming upstairs saying he thinks he broke his toe, get up, turn on light, look at toe, go downstairs get ice, come back up, put on his foot, turn off light, get back in bed, tell dog to get back in bed.

5:30am – B says he thinks he wants to go to the hospital. “FOR A TOE???” I say lovingly. Get up, turn on light, find nurse hotline number, call and hand the phone to B, turn off light, get back in bed, tell dog to get back in bed.

5:35am-nurse guy tells B to go to hospital since his pain is at an 8 or 9 (which for B means it actually really hurts, poor guy), get up, turn on light, get dressed, let dog out.

5:40am – wake up K. “I’m tired, mommy!"

5:45am – Pippi in crate, B in car, K still tired, on our way to St. Joe’s.

6:05am – check B in, convert his weight from kg to lbs on my phone, privately think about the best way to broach a need to lose a few lbs to him now that he can’t walk.

6:45am – leave B at St. Joe’s, go home, call boss and leave message.

7:05am- feed K and the other animals, clean the kitty litter, make K’s lunch.

7:30am - "Mom, it hurts when I pee,"

7:35am – leave message with Reading Pedes while banging head against nearest wall.

7:50am-leave for school.

7:55am-arrive at school, answer phone to pediatrician calling back, turn around in parking lot and head home while making appt for 9:30 for K.

8:00am – scarf down some PB toast, call boss again with update, check work e-mail.

8:30am-Brian done (dislocated toe) head back to St. Joe's.

9:00am – quick stop at Barnes and Nobles to get b-day present for party tonight (hey, we were driving by, might as well stop), call boss and tell her not to look for me before noon.

9:15am-open door while rolling by house, shove B out into drive way .

9:30am-arrive at Reading pedes.

9:40am -hold cup to catch daughter's pee.

10:15am – out of doctor’s office with script and note for school.

10:25am – drop K off at school.

10:30am – walk the poor confused dog.

11:00am – swim, feeling somewhat like my ears and/or lungs are going to explode and wondering if I can get the same cardio workout by standing around like the fat old men in the other lane, and/or if it is too late to get my money back for the meet on Sunday.

12:15pm – back home, B and Pippi asleep on the couch, check work e-mail and messages.

12:45pm - scarf down some crackers and a cheese stick for lunch.

1:00pm - conference call

Simple Woman's Daily Digest, 1/12/12

2012-01-12T15:05:00.000-05:00

Outside my window: If I HAD a window, all I would see is gray – gray rain, gray building across the street, gray street below, gray sky above. January, two Federal holidays notwithstanding, is my least favorite month of the year.

I am hearing: Glenn Beck on my .mp3 player, phones ringing in my neighbors’ cubicles.

I am wearing: black pants, a black and white striped blouse and a black sweater vest. Also, I am wearing black shoes and black socks. I should have gone with gray to match the weather.

In the kitchen: a container of sugar free strawberry jelly made with splenda that I bought by accident. I used it on my PBJ for breakfast today (I wasn’t feeling very industrious when packing my lunch yesterday) and it was DIS.GUS.TING. It may even be worse than the grapefruit jelly from right after Christmas.

I am thinking: That I would like very much to take a nap. I kept dosing off on the train, but couldn’t successfully fall asleep.

I am thankful for: my fuzzy sheets.

I am reading: Reading: Waking Up In Charleston by Susan Mallery and I am listening to Say Goodbye by Lisa Gardner.

I am hoping: I do not embarrass myself on Sunday.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Swim practice tonight, a birthday party for K tomorrow night, (her first at her new school – very exciting!), cleaning the house and officiating a swim meet on Saturday, and swimming in my first meet in over 20 years on Sunday (eek!).

Monday Madness

2012-01-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

Things I am looking forward to this week...

Sleeping in my bed with the soft fuzzy sheets that I want to marry. Seriously. I've already told B he is out and I am marrying the sheets. Unfortunately, the amount of time I will get to spend with my beloved sheets this week is not significant.

Making lots of money to go towards our new carpet fund. Of course that presupposes that it is possible to make lots of money while being paid minimum wage...it is not...but I am still excited to be able to put a bunch of hours on my time sheet this pay period. The check I got from GM last week and the prospect of eventually getting paid for the HS meet I worked on 12/14 (slow much, Boyertown??) means that I will get to buy myself new running shoes soon! Whoopee!

Figuring out how my new .mp3 player works so I can listen to something except my own breathing at work. Last week was filled with a couple of LOOOOONNNGGGGG silent days.

A three day weekend coming up!

Hugging my sweet baby girl as much as possible.

Trying to stay caught up on my 100 days of push-ups challenge. I've already fallen behind twice and had to catch up. B on the other hand is all show-offy about doing his on time. Jerk.

Sunshine? I hope?

Here's the randomness I was thinking about while warming down after my swim today... this three week stretch in January swimming wise:

1/5 - HS meet/swim
1/6 - practice
1/7 - Y meet (coach)
1/8 - practice
1/9 - practice/swim
1/10 - HS meet
1/11 - officials meeting
1/12 - practice
1/13 - practice/swim
1/14 - Y meet (officiate)
1/15 - Y meet (swim!)
1/16 - what? no practice? Nope, just GS (gag).
1/17 - HS meet/swim
1/18 - a rare day of nothing pool related!
1/19 - practice
1/20 - practice/swim
1/21 - Y meet (coach)
1/22 - Y invitational (coach)
1/23 - practice/swim
1/24 - practice

It goes on into February, but does slow down a bit since dual meets will be ending this month. I truly don't know what I will do with all my freetime in the evenings and on weekends.

The lady with the flashlight

2012-01-05T15:10:00.001-05:00

This morning, after I dragged my butt out of bed a full hour after I wanted to get up and go swim, I was walking Pippi on one of our longer loops and spied a lady across the street ahead of me with a dog and a flashlight. Pippi, for whatever reason (perhaps she was still pondering the continous presence of flowing water running down Lenox onto Prospect no matter what the weather - is there a leak? has the stream been diverted? or the sudden (related?) appearance of three inches of ice chunks between Lenox and Filbert) didn't notice said lady or the potential new puppy friend until they had crossed back to our side of the road at which point Pippi....freaked. She turned around and tried to run the other way with her tail tucked, her butt tucked, and her ears flat. She was terrified. Of the flashlight. The lady walked down the road that we were going to take and I was able to drag Pippi, tail still tucked and ears still flat, past that road and towards the next one. She was walking full speed, looking behind her constantly, tail still tucked, until we were about 1.5 blocks away. I was able to get her to slow down and let me pet her quivering, scardy-dog body and tell her it would be okay, etc., but...she was honest-to-goodness terrified of the flashlight lady. In her defense, it was a fairly bright LED light, but still...a flashlight?
Maybe she was having flashbacks to the accident last Spring and it reminded her of the vet's office? or maybe an angel told her to go towards the light while she was shocky and bleeding and she remembered? Who knows.

Speaking of dogs, last night as I drove down our street I noticed a dog, approximately the same colors as Pippi, in our neighbors yard. I slammed on the brakes, realized it was not my idiot dog but someone elses, and pulled into the driveway. Said idiot dog was in my neighbor's backyard while our dog and our other neighbor's dogs were going berserk on their respective porches. I left all my stuff in the car and went running into the backyard to try and catch the errant pooch. Her owner was cutting through the yard behind ours and we set off after the dog together. No matter what, she kept running away and would NOT come to me or her owner as we chased her through yards, over hedges, down streets, etc. I spent a good 15 minutes going after this crazy bitch (both meanings), in my work clothes, and loafers, only to lose sight of her and have her owner - talking on his cell phone - give up and head home. "She has a tag, someone will find her." Ummmm....okay? So I walked around a few more minutes before heading home myself, realizing that I didn't have my phone and my family probably thought I had been kidnapped from the driveway.

Eight things I learned over Christmas break

2012-01-03T15:00:00.000-05:00

1. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are delish unless the jelly is a citrusy marmalade kind of deal with chunks of grapefruit in it. Then…not so much. My Aunt and Uncle gave us a lovely jar of locally made jam and without looking at it, B opened it and made us breakfast on the Monday after Christmas. Only when he had bitten into it and realized that PB and J should NOT come with a bitter aftertaste did he look at the jar. Oops. He warned me, but not being one to waste food, I ate it. It was gross.

2. My daughter is very silly and entirely too blunt. While at the Jax zoo with my family, K observed two little frogs – one on top of the other. “Look, the frogs are mating,” she announced to the world. The frogs are what?? Where did you learn what animal mating looks like? Apparently in science class they talked about it. Mating, you see, involves one frog fertilizing the other’s eggs. This is the same kid that STILL hasn’t asked how babies are made, despite giving her plenty of opportunity to ask questions while watching A Baby Story, and having discussions about everything else body related. She knows that women have eggs and they need to be fertilized to grow into a baby but has no interest in how that happens. Luckily it is still a God provided miracle that makes babies spontaneously grow in a woman. She did find it hilarious that the leopard’s testicles were so large though.

3. K love, love, LOVES her Florida family, especially cousin LiM and Uncle Mo. K slept over on an air mattress in LiM’s room two of the four nights we were there. Not being one to sleep in (EVER) K was up with the sun, pestering Uncle Mo for breakfast, playing with the dogs, snuggling on the couch watching sports center, and discussing the history channel. Everything that LiM does, K wants to do. She loves BiM and my sister too, but they are not as close to her size as LiM or, apparently, as cuddly and funny, as Uncle Mo.

4. Sometimes it is easier to just ignore people when they are being grumpy or making asinine statements. Sometimes it is not that easy and I want to pound something.

5. Traveling is exhausting. I knew this already from traveling for work, but I didn’t realize how sore I would be after sitting in the car. Why on earth do my shoulders hurt from sitting?? Going south was not AS bad b/c we split the trip into two days. Monday I had a great workout in the AM and was able to tolerate the 7+ hours in the car without too much problem. The next day was not as peachy minus the good night’s sleep and work-out but even those 8+ hours (traffic!) were tolerable. By that evening though, I was numb and ready for bed. On the way back north…oh heavens. Fourteen straight hours in the car? I was completely wiped out. I tried running the next day (swim stuff was still in the rental car at my parents), but could only manage about 2.5 miles before my knees quit. I limped the rest my route back home and then whined the rest of the day about how sore I was.

6. K is possibly the best child ever. She did not whine and complain at all on the way back, even when the portable DVD player gave up the ghost. She desperately wanted to be home and was so sick of the car, but she was a trooper about it and just chilled listening to her music/audio books.

7. I am no longer afraid of German Shepherd Dogs. I made friends with my sister’s dog, Mia, who had formerly tried to eat me, prompting an ER doc in Portland, OR to ask whether I was being abused while we waited for the x-rays of my foot. Mia is now my buddy and even gave me the ball to throw a few times. It makes me want a big dog; however, if I ever see a snarling GSD coming at me with its teeth bared ready to eat me, I will probably go back to being afraid again.

8. What I want more than anything is for K to want to hold my hand when she is 14 the way BiM holds my sister’s hand when they are walking somewhere. My nieces have grown into lovely young ladies. They dress appropriately, they speak appropriately, they act appropriately, they are smart, and responsible, and athletic…they are just lovely. They are tweens/teens and I’m sure given to tween/teen angst and shenanigans, but they are also very nice little girls who are little girls, not hootchy mama looking/acting future stars of teen mom. Whatever my sister is doing, I hope I can do it too over the next few years.

Christmas Recap

Christmas was pretty nice, once we got past all the work, church, etc. stuff. B once again worked nights the week before, forcing me to get creative in terms of being quiet while still getting things accomplished. While he slept on Friday and Christmas Eve, K and I ran errands and puttered around together, playing games, reading, cooking for Christmas dinner, cleaning and doing laundry. Christmas Eve B. woke up about 2pm and we all got dressed, took a few pictures in front of the tree and then headed to church. E. originally came downstairs wearing ratty khakis. “Do you have a pair of dark pants you can put on?” “Yes.” So he headed up to his room and came downstairs wearing…the ratty khakis. “E,” said I patiently. “I thought you were going to change?” “Oh, but those pants are really nice,” he responded. Hello? It’s Christmas Eve, bucko, one of only two days a year we expect you to wear something other than jeans. What occasion are you saving them for, exactly? So, he put them on, pictures were taken, and we left for church in separate cars.

We arrived at 4pm, only to discover that band rehearsals were well underway already with the new AMD leading worship. I was immediately put off because, once again, no one told me we were starting early. It was a few minutes before I got inside, got things set up in the hall for dinner, and came back. By then they were done going over the offertory song, which I did not know, and it was clear that I would not be singing with them. The AMD has made it clear in the past that I am not welcome to sing if I do not practice with them so…that and the overwhelming crowd on the altar put me off just enough that I said screw it and sat in the pew with my mom and K. It was not the start to Christmas that I had hoped for. The music was…less than great – someone was very shrieky and very loud and the timing on Christmas carols was all off – but the sermon was excellent. I am still struggling with the whole feeling useless/not belonging thing and may or may not take a break until swim season is over. Or permanently. After dinner, I took K and E home and we all got ready for bed. I didn’t even try to stay awake to wait for B. this year. I just got the presents out and crashed with the dog.

Christmas morning we did our usual – stockings only – but I hastened the process by waking up early to shower and get dressed. I walked the mutt while everyone else got ready and then we headed out to mom and dad’s for breakfast and presents there. Home to our house to put the turkey in the oven and open our presents, then it was time for lunch, more laundry (yes, on Christmas), cleaning up, last minute packing, snacks, and dinner with my parents. It was a nice day all in all.

Monday, as mentioned, we headed south, stopping in Rocky Mt., NC to sleep. We ate at what may be the worst Denny’s on earth but had a few good chuckles at our bitchy waitress (“I’ve got like 4 tables ahead of you, so you’ll just have to wait,” the cook throwing things and yelling at the few waitresses there, and the lack of utensils (B finally swiped them from another table). None of us slept very well, so we were up and ready to go early the next day. We hit breakfast when it opened and were on the road again by 7am.

We arrived at our FL hotel around 3pm and were over to my sister’s around 4 to wait for the girls to come home from swim practice. Uncle Mo had smoked a small flock of chickens for us to eat that night, which of course, has made B. crave a smoker of his own and we just hung out, ate dinner, opened presents, and played with the dogs until it was time to crash.

The rest of the week was occupied with working out, a trip to the Jax Zoo (VERY nice zoo), St. Augustine (too many tourists!), swim practice (K swam with them 2 nights and watched on the 3^rd), and eating (breakfast at the hotel, lunch out, and dinner at my sisters). It was a nice, if a little hectic, visit. K had a wonderful time with her cousins and we really enjoyed it too. I REALLY wish we lived closer. I don’t think we can manage driving down more than once a year just b/c of time and $$ and that makes me sad.

The last two days of vacation were spent vegging, watching football, and doing laundry (why do I do so much frigging laundry???). Yesterday K and I spent the morning cleaning and organizing her room to get rid of things she no longer plays with, consolidate her books, put everything in an appropriate place, and make room for her (my) collectors dolls on her book case. After much bugging, she got B to get them out of the attic and we set them up yesterday afternoon. Her room looks great and her new year’s resolution is to keep it neat. We’ll see how long that lasts!

I hereby resolve

Does anyone else think making resolutions is a waste of time?

Every year, I have the same things on my list...stop picking the skin on my lips, pray more, etc. Last year I actually succeeded in stopping the lip-picking. It took until Spring, but I did it. And then the whole big thing at work happened and I reverted back to a state of unbelievable anxiety and started up again. Dang it. So, now I am back on the wagon. I figure it I did it once, I can do it again. Maybe this time it will be easier?

Another of my resolutions has to do with fitness…I want to do a better job of cross training. I’ve gotten into a bit of cross-training rut, if that makes sense. I swim 2x a week, I tone/lift weights 2x a week, and a do the elliptical the other day. I’ve succeeded in getting my cardio down to 3 days per week, which was a big deal for me, but I stopped doing other things on that non-swim day. I used to run, bike, do a DVD, or take a class once in a while, but I’ve been stuck in a rut. I am happy with my training in the pool (or at least I don’t think I will completely humiliate myself at the meet in 2 weeks), but the rest has become boring. Watching my sister workout with her trainer gave me some inspiration to mix it up a little in the coming months.

Another fitness resolution is to complete the 100 day challenge. Each day we add another pushup to the total until we are up to 100 on April 9. I asked B if I could bank some pushups now when it is easy to make the end of this a little more tolerable? For example, if I do 30 or 40 a day now, I can save up for when we are up in the 80s and 90s and I want to quit. Somehow doing 100 pushups is daunting enough, but when I think about doing 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, etc. the days before that…yikes. On the plus side, my shoulders, back, and chest will be down-right ripped. On the minus side…ouch.

I have discovered that I am a gym snob. I HATE the few weeks after new years when all the resolutioners are there – taking up space, sweating all over the machines, grunting and groaning, and getting in the way of the people who take working out seriously all year long. I know that is not a nice attitude to have and I want to cheer on the people who are going to make a real commitment to do it…but the ones who join with a major “look at me” attitude, who stand or sit around in the pool taking up space and getting in the way either after or instead of working out…I’ve no time for them. For example, when I got to the gym at 11:45 on Monday, it was PACKED. The parking lot was full, the cardio machines were full, the weights were being used, and the pool was crammed with people…three of whom I had never seen before and were just standing/sitting around taking up space, like it is a frigging spa. Luckily one of the regulars was getting out so I got in her lane and we chatted about the ridiculous “new year’s bump” while she stretched. By noon all the newbie pool people were gone and it was just us me and three bouncers who share a lane so they can talk. I know that by mid-February the ranks will thin and it will go back to being largely normal, but for the next week or two…grrrrrr.

I am officially registered for my first (only?) Master’s swim meet in under 2 weeks. My personal goals are not lofty – I want to beat my daughter’s times in the 100 free and 100 IM. I have set a personal goal of 1:20 for myself in free and 1:30 in IM. I think I can do both without too much bloodshed and maybe beat a senior citizen or two while I’m at it. I am also supposed to be swimming two relays with some of the other coaches. We have a ringer in a 24 year old former national champion swimmer, but unfortunately, our age group is based on her age and I’m not sure that her speed will be enough to make up for the 3 of us in the 35+ crowd. It should be fun though. After that…who knows. There is one in March that sounds like fun – it is a pentathlon (50 in every stroke, plus 100 IM) but I will wait and see how the January meet goes before making any decisions. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just get in and swim however much I feel like rather than worry about intervals and whatever.

Another resolution is, of course, to do a better job updating my blog. I know no one reads it, but if I don’t write them down, I forget too many things that I really want to remember. So, the blogging really is for my benefit and no one else’s.

Seven Quick Takes (a little past or not quite) Friday

2011-12-19T13:31:00.001-05:00

1. My dog has discovered that she can jump ONTO the dining room table. Saturday afternoon I made peanut butter blossoms which cooled, largely, while she was outside. I put the completed cooled ones away, but the last few (seven if you must know) needed some additional cooling time. So, I barricaded the table, let the dog in, and went upstairs to fold laundry. About 10 minutes later I came downstairs and found…Pippi standing ON the table eating the last cookie. I think I squeaked in shock, called B to come upstairs, and then chased the dog around the house screaming mean things at her. The PBBs represent the last of the baking. I have made: 1) kitchen sink cookies, 2) peppermint butter cookies, 3) sugar cookies, 4) spiced snowcaps, 5) peppermint chocolate crunch things, and 6) PBBs. I need to step away from the cookies or I will look like a cookie (and die of a heart attack) before long.

2. High School swim season has started with a bang. I had a meet last Wednesday at Boyertown, which is now my home pool. It was the first HS meet I have worked there though and seeing all 8 lanes was challenging but fun. I liked watching some of my “big kids” swim for the HS team. I have a break until the 1^st week in Jan and then about a meet a week until the end of the season – 7 meets in all. I don’t know what I am going to do with all of my free time come March when I no longer have swim practice or meets. I am rethinking my plan to compete in a couple of meets this winter. All of a sudden (okay, not all of a sudden, it was pretty gradual) my shoulders went from feeling tight to actually hurting. As I am only swimming about 3 miles a week, that does not bode well for continued training. I am taking a week off from all upper body exercise (no weights either) and then I’ll try swimming again and see how it feels. Some people are just not built to be athletes. Adding my achy shoulders to my still inflamed hip, I realized that I am one of those people. I am not that into training that I will continue to push through actual pain (as opposed to just general soreness)…so it might be time to establish a different fitness goal or two. Body building perhaps? Ha!

3. B picked up E at school on Friday. They stayed the night in SC so E could see his grandparents and B could rest and then came home Saturday morning. We haven’t seen E since August so it is good to have him home. He will be here (or at his mom’s) until January 22. Supposedly he did well, though he said that last semester and we know how that turned out. He is retaking the psych course which gave him fits last year to try and erase the D on his transcript. That of course means he will be 3-6 credits behind where he needs to be to graduate on time. This summer the plan is to force him to get his drivers license and a job so that next year he can buy a car and get himself to and from wherever he needs to go, including summer classes at Alvernia or wherever.

4. One of the major reasons I am glad to have E home is his willingness to pet sit (for money) while we are visiting my sister next week. I feel much better about leaving Pippi knowing she will get some good attention and won’t be in the cage 24/7. All in all, it is a cheaper/better option to pay E to pet and house sit than to pay the pet sitter and beg our neighbors, plus he makes a nice chunk of money suitable for gratuitous spending over the holiday.

5. I still hate my job. I’m not sure when I will get out of this anti-work funk. I had a brief spurt of energy and interest a couple of weeks ago while focusing on a special project with a very short turn around. I got to work at home for 5 days in a row and racked up some comp time for this summer. I have SO much to do, I just can’t seem to focus on it.

6. K’s Christmas pageant was last Friday and I took a couple of hours off to go and watch. It was excellent. The singing was…mostly awful…but the kids were enthusiastic and serious about what they were doing and it was very cool to see all the kids dressed in their Christmas and Sunday best. I will once again say how very happy I am that she is at SCS this year!

7. B is working nights this week leading up to Christmas. I seriously dislike when he does this, but after I-don’t-know-how-many-years-of-it, I should be used to it. We both end up exhausted by the time Christmas gets here and then we both end up sick. This year we’ll end up sick and on our way to Florida instead of sick and convalescing at home. We leave Monday to head down to my sisters – two-daying it on the way down, but driving the entire 15 hours in one shot on Saturday when we come home. I can’t wait to see everyone!

Seven Quick Takes Friday (V5)

2011-11-27T07:01:00.000-05:00

Getting better...it's Sunday instead of the following Tuesday. That's practically Friday.

1. Being sick on a holiday stinks. Having your kid sick also, stinks double.

K came home from school Monday afternoon with a terrible headache and a fever. Unfortunately she had to languish in the nurses office for a while before they got in touch with someone to come and get her. I was just getting out of the pool and headed to the loccer room when Nicki stuck her head in and said, "CariP? Your husband is on the phone looking for you." My initial reaction was a gut clenching, panic stricken, "WHAT?" Followed by, "[Expletive] That can't be good." And finally concluding with, "Can you tell him I'll call him on my cell?" I went into the loccer room, called him with my heart beating about 150 beats a minute. "K's school called. She has a fever and needs to come home." Oh, is that all? Relief. I was afraid he had sliced off a finger or something. So B called the school and I got a quick shower and got dressed and went to fetch the sicko. She was, apparently, in good company, with several other kids in the nurses office with her. About that time, I realized that the swim through quick sand I had just finished was also accompanied by the feeling that my head was going to explode so we went home, made some soup, climbed under a blanket and laid on the couch watching day-time TV. I mostly laid there sweating and holding my head while being slow-cooked by my daughter sprawled across my lap. Even Pippi couldn't stand the heat and she loves being warm.

K moaned a lot and was very lethargic - very UN-K like. We put her to bed about 7pm and she was up a couple of times puking and complaining of the headache. She was also alternately freezing and roasting. My own exploding head continued and no one slept very well. Tuesday she claimed to be feeling better but we kept her home anyway and it was good that we did as her fever went up again. I sported a migraine to go with the exploding head but once I was appropriately medicated, that went away and I just managed the regular old headache. I had swim practice that evening, which was painful for everyone involved, but my Wednesday I was feeling much better.

Wednesday, K again claimed to be feeling better but was soon sprinting to the bathroom every 15 minutes while I plied her with gatorade and tea and ice water to keep her hydrated. She managed a few bites of soup for lunch, a few bites of rice for dinner, and was again in bed early but, thanks to 2 doses of immodium, slept through the night.

Thursday, the bathroom visits slowed down a bit until grand-mom broke out the shrimp and veggies and then we resumed the 15 minute bathroom runs through dinner and up until bed time. Two more doses of immodium again helped and she was fine all night. I however was miserable with a migraine. Again.

2. Shopping on black friday can be fun.

Since everyone was feeling better on Friday, K and I went to Boscov's to look for undershirts for B. We got there about 7:30, and by the time we left had picked up a couple of Christmas presents for E. and B. some socks for K and me and the undershirts we had gone for originally. It was a very successful day. That, however, was the extent of our shopping!

3. The whole off-BCPs=no migrain theory is blown.

I had 3 last week. Three more this week. I tried to manage them with motrin/alleve and ice, but there was no budging the pain and I ended up taking Imitrex. Tomorrow will be a call to the doctor to explain that, no, the extra sleeping isn't helping, but thanks for the advice. And by the way, have you NOTICED how many times you've renewed my Imitrex in the last 2 years?? I need...something. I can't stand this.

4. Friday I gave myself the gift of a clean-house.

After shopping K went over to her friend's house to play and I spent the better part of 6 hours cleaning. I got to play with my steamer and was really, really pleased with how the house looked when I was done.

5. Then I baked on Saturday and undid it all.

Four kinds of cookies (iced snowcaps, kitchen sink cookies, new peppermint twists, and the dreaded sugar cut-outs) and 1 batch of english muffin bread and the the kitchen and dining room were once again a mess. K had two different friends over which allowed me to focus on the baking and the cleaning up. And to repeatedly tell her that no, she couldn't try the cookies as a snack.

6. Washing dishes from all that baking makes one's hands a nasty mess.

7. In addition to watching WAY too much TV while convalesing this week, we also played approximately 900 games of yatzee. K won 98% of them.

Cat Diaries (V3) (by guest blogger, K)

2011-11-23T14:26:00.000-05:00

I m citty. A couple of weaks ago “The man” tok me to the vets.:( I hated I t. Y is that man so mean? Lat lee my sissy has com don to peet me. She taks in a werd voice. Puss the dimwit is so dum!! I want to giv him a idea of min. Puss keeps askin’ wehres koko? Im hating this. Goodby for now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He is dumb.

Signed, Puss

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The evil villain pp wants to get revenge on kitty. Oh and kitty I can read what you wrote because you just wrote it on the page above me. Ever since “my people” brought home the terror .(Pippi) I have to worry about a teeth and claws all the time it is annoying. Sigh. I am devastated

Signed, Puss

Seven Quick Takes Friday (V4)

2011-11-14T18:00:00.000-05:00

Why can't I ever get this done on Friday???

1. The dog "disappeared" one of my shoes and it still hasn't turned up. I really thought it was out there under all the leaves, but I raked them on Friday and...no shoe. I guess she could have hidden it somewhere else out there, but it definitely isn't in the house. How does a shoe just disappear? And it is a NICE, comfy, warm shoe that I would really like to find. Dang dog.

2. We went up to the game on Saturday and I was very worried about it. They were saying a number of protests would be taking place, plus news vans all over the place, plus alcohol and high emotions...could have been a bad combo. But it wasn't. It was calm, and quiet, and subdued. The weather was gorgeous - 50 and sunny. The stadium was full - highest attendance of the season. And the crowd was - LOUD and proud of our team and our (by degree or by adoption) University. I think all the angry trouble makers must have sold their tickets to people who wanted to come and support the kids on the field. Before the game (Lee Corso's ignorant (ill-timed? call me cynical, but I doubt it) comment can't even put a damper on it), the team walked out. They didn't run. They walked out arm in arm. This was one of the most unusual and moving things I have ever seen in football. And then? Then the Nebraska team and coaches walked out towards the middle of the field and met the Penn State team and coaches and about 150 former players who were on the sideline for the game and guess what they did next? Nope, they didn't fight and turn over news vans...they knelt down and they prayed. Together. At a football game. On national television. Quick! Someone call the ACLU! And (though you can't tell it from this footage) the stadium was totally quiet. People were crying.   It was the coolest thing I have every seen at a game. ESPN, no doubt had cut to a commercial so the assortment of wife/girlfriend beating, statutory rapist commentators they have passing judgment on everyone else didn't have to worry about what hypocritical thing to say next (glass houses, ESPN, etc.). Then the prayer ended and the game was played and the kids couldn't pull it out but managed to put a pretty brave face on what has been a pretty crappy week for them and kept NE from beating the spread.

3. As nice as Saturday was, we spent entirely too much time sitting and my back is not happy about it. It took 5 HOURS to get there on Saturday. Part of that was just horrid traffic up over Seven Mountains, but part of that was...um...forgetting the tickets and parking pass and having to go back for them. Luckily B realized it when we were about to get on the turn pike so we were able to just turn around and go back and leave again an hour after we had originally left! Oops. Pippi went with us and she wasn't overly thrilled about being in her crate for so many hours when her people were right next to her.

4. We tagged our Christmas tree yesterday after church. It wasn't quite as warm as last year but it was pretty toasty out. Hopefully it will be cooler when we cut the darn thing down. We may have found it in record time this year...which makes me think someone replaced my husband with someone more reasonable...and were on our way to my parents to rake leaves in less than 45 minutes! It is so much less stressful to tag the tree ahead of time. And if you wonder why picking a Christmas tree is stressful, try going with B when it is 20 degrees and you are tramping around in 1 foot of snow for 1.5 hours with a toddler in a snowsuit.

5. Today a woman at the gym was absolutely inconsolable while she was swimming.  When I encounter someone who is upset, I will generally ask if the person is okay (which on further consideration is a stupid question since if she/he is crying she/he is obviously NOT okay) or if I can help or do something. That pretty much covers just about any scenario and worked just fine today when the young lady in the lane next to me was crying while she swam. The man on the other side of me was very concerned and kept stopping to tell me to keep an eye on her. I finally got to ask her if she was okay (no, you idiot) and she assured me that she was and that there was nothing I could do. She avoided being stopped at the same end at the same time as me after that. So that gentle questioning thing is appropriate is almost all situations...but what's the protocol when you are naked and the person in the shower next to you is sobbing? I rinsed my hair while praying for her, turned off the water, wrapped myself in a towel and stood outside her shower. "I want to respect your privacy but please, is there something I can do to help you?" Silence...and the sobbing suddenly stopped. About that time the girl from the front desk came in (someone else had gone out and gotten her) and asked "Anne" if she was okay. Anne threw open the curtain and turned off the water to see Nicki and a naked stranger standing there but didn't answer.  I grabbed my stuff and went to my locker to put on some clothes. Nicki got Anne to speak to her but all she would say is that it is "personal." She came out while I was still getting dressed but wouldn't make eye contact and quickly grabbed her clothes and disappeared to get dressed. She didn't come out until I left and then I saw her standing on the curb while I drove away. Nicki told me that Anne cries a lot while she is working out or getting dressed.

I wish I could have done/said something more but Anne seemed to just shut down when she realized anyone had noticed her crying. I didn't notice any bruises or anything while she was swimming or getting her stuff. She is REALLY thin though. So all I can do is pray for her and ask others to do the same.

6. (knocking on wood) I haven't had a migraine in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS! Why? Could be the chiropractor snapping my neck into position. Could be the magnesium supplements. Could be the change in the weather Could be the fact that I stopped taking my BCPs for the time being. Could be a combo of the above. Regardless, I am very happy about it. As for the not taking the BCPs...I'm not sure that's going to work for more than a month or two before the crazy train comes and tries to carry me away again. PMDD SUCKS, people, and except for the migraines (minor detail) Yaz is a freaking miracle drug.  Maybe I can stop the BCPs at the end of the summer when the weather is triggering so many headaches as it is and start them back up in the fall when the barometric pressure settles a bit. We'll see.

[editted at 8:00pm to add...I spoke too soon. For some reason having 13 kids in one frigging lane tonight stressed me out enough that I got a migraine tonight.   Drat]

7. I'm trying to convince B that we need another dog...he's not going for it. Huh.

Simple Woman's Digest (11/14)

2011-11-14T09:08:00.000-05:00

Outside my window I am seeing: leaves falling from my neighbor's tree into our yard. With the sun shining, everything looks so bright and golden.

I am hearing: Glenn Beck’s TV show from last Thursday. Sense a theme yet?

I am wearing: My most comfy jeans with the fraying cuffs and a few Pippi the puppy bite holes, a t-shirt so I could get my allergy shots without stripping, and a fleece jacket. Plus a PSU baseball cap b/c I am going to swim at lunch and don't feel like combing it at the moment.

In the kitchen: is a dishwasher full of clean dishes to be emptied and a sink full of breakfast dishes to be washed. After work.

I am thinking: the dog is too quiet.

I am thankful for: a job that lets me sleep "in" a couple of days a week, dress in ratty, comfy clothes, and go to the gym at lunch when I choose sleep over an early morning swim! Also, the men and women who are courageous enough to serve in our military so that we can enjoy our freedom here at home.

I am reading: Burnt Mountain by Anne Rivers Siddon. Still reading Michael Vey too.

I am hoping: things go well for my sister today.

A few plans for the rest of the week: our first dual meet is this Saturday, followed by the Turkey Trot on Sunday. I'll be spending at last a chunk of my Friday off cleaning this messy house and doing laundry since I won't be home all weekend to do anything! We get report cards today too, that should be fun, and have our 1st parent/teacher conference Thursday after school.

Seven Quick Takes Friday (V3)

2011-11-07T07:45:00.000-05:00

It is a little goofy doing a week-end and week-beginning post on the same day...I need to get back on track. And I need to find some fun bloggy things to add to these three. But at least it is helping me post with a little more consistency, I guess.

1. I am not meant to be an athelete. I now have bursitis in my left hip. Originally I thought it was related to my back after I fell and/or was from running. So I stopped running and went to the chiropractor for my back. Back is mostly better, but hip is so much worse. According to Dr. Google, the symptoms match trochanteric bursitis.

2. The bad thing about diagnosing yourself is that no one is going to tell me how to fix it. Dr. Google makes suggestions, but so far, the ice, stretching, and scaling back on the things that hurt, isn't working. I suppose I could completely stop working out for a couple of weeks but...not happening unless someone can convince me that it will actually help.

3. I have no identify in swimming other than as S's sister or K's mother and that's actually okay with me. My kids know me as Coach C (or Coach Cookie or Coach [insert my actual name here]) so I guess I have that mini-identity to work on. Today I spent the better part of an hour swimming with a woman who looked vaguely familiar, like maybe I knew her from a long time ago, and was a really good swimmer. When we were both basically done, she asked about my fins, whether I liked them, etc. She then said I looked familiar and when I told her my name, she said, "Oh, you're S's sister!" Yes, indeed.

4. If B. volunteers to work nights again except for at Christmas, I might kill him. The house is a mess, everyone is exhausted, and I feel like a single mother. One more night and it will be done until Christmas week.

5. I am shocked and appaled by what Sandusky has allegedly done. How can someone be SO false? His depravity has hurt who knows how many kids, put a black cloud on the university, and signed a death warrant for the organization he founded which actually does great things for kids in the area.   But you know what is ridiculous? People harassing my parents for wearing PSU stuff in public. Ummm...they are 70 years old, have nothing to do with the scandal, and really don't own many clothes that DON'T say PSU. Idiots. Let someone say something to me...

6.   Christmas is less than 7 weeks away...ack.

7.   I think that if teenagers can wear slippers to school and call them shoes, I should be able to wear these to work.

5 things (week of 11/7)

2011-11-07T07:24:00.000-05:00

This week I am looking forward to:

1. B going back to working days. One more night. One more night.

2. A day off with my hubby on Friday. I have off for Veteran's Day and he just has off.

3. The last home football game on Saturday. Although with all the crap happening this week, I'm not sure what the atmosphere will be like on campus.

4. Walking with the Juniors at the mall tonight.

5. Maybe finding my missing shoe when I rake leaves this week. Pippi disappeared my shoe on Saturday and the only place I can think it might be is out in the yard somewhere under the leaves.

Simple Woman's Daily Digest (11/3/11)

2011-11-03T18:15:00.000-04:00

I feel like it should be a simpleton's daily digest...

Outside my window: window? I don’t have a stupid window. Outside of THE window that I have to get up and look out of, I can see men cleaning our building’s windows reflected in the Comcast buildings’ mirrored windows. I can also see the reflection of people walking and I can see WaWa. It looks like there is a tree down there as well.

I am hearing: Glenn Beck’s show from Monday on my .mp3 player.

I am wearing: a black/red/gray faux-wrap dress, black sling backs, and stockings (yuck). Plus, my office snuggie/shawl thing because it is about 60 degrees in here!

In the kitchen: are three plastic bags of left over pretzels and chips from the party we had Tuesday to welcome our temporary guests from the 7^th floor. Not ziplock bags…plastic grocery bags. Very strange.

I am thinking: that I haven’t been able to focus on work with any consistency in weeks. I wish that wasn’t the case b/c being bored is boring.

I am thankful for: My hubby who volunteered to work nights this week because he needs to feel needed – at work and at home. His hours at job #2 were cut in about half and so his take home pay was also cut. So, looking for extra hours to make up for the shortfall, he is working overnights. I hate it and I need him much more at home than I do then the money he will make….but he is doing it for us and I love him for it. As far as needing to feel needed at work…he is so underappreciated at work, I hate it for him. He does EVERYTHING while people stand around and gab. His boss is constantly asking him to do other stuff and he is trained to do everything the managers do. But…he still gets his hours cut while the gabbers stand around getting paid for being there and it frustrates him to no end. So…he jumps at the chance to work with no oversight (he’s the only one on at night) or to do inventory.

I am reading: The Confession by Beverly Lewis. Also, I’m still reading Michael Vey, the prisoner of Cell 25, and I am listening to Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

I am hoping: this work day ends quickly.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Tonight and tomorrow night we have swim practice or course. K is going to a science thing at Alvernia U. on Saturday and I plan to rake leaves while she is there and then take her to her g-parents to be spoiled. B and I have a date scheduled for the afternoon after he wakes up, ending with watching the LSU vs. AL game in the evening. Sunday – I have church, have to put in an appearance at my cousin’s 50^th birthday party, and then have swim practice again. I’m hoping that Sunday night is B’s last night working and that I will actually get to see him for more than 5 minutes at a time next week!

Seven Quick Takes Friday (Volume 2)

2011-11-01T18:10:00.000-04:00

7 things I learned this week…a few days late.

1. Shopping of any sort right before a snow storm stinks. We usually do our grocery shopping Friday after school. Pick up Script. Pick up Kara. Pick up groceries. Of course, with a huge storm predicted for Saturday, everyone was rushing to get their milk, bread, and toilet paper. I hope they also had generators to keep that milk fresh.

2. Listening to trees crack and limbs fall is not particularly entertaining. My neighbors lost a HUGE branch and immediately went out into the snow and slop and started hacking down any low hanging branches that were looking suspect. We lost two huge branches from our maple tree in the back, but luckily the garden fence was only a little smashed and the REALLY BIG branch that would have taken down our yard fence didn’t fall. We lost power around 1pm on Saturday and honestly thought it would be back on quickly. We had already lost power around 4am that morning from a car accident and they had that back up in 2 hours. Unfortunately, the lack of power continued until about 5pm yesterday. Thankfully, our two freezers stayed nice and frozen and we were able to move the inside stuff to a cooler and/or the freezers and have almost everything stay fresh. I chucked a few things that just weren’t saving, but overall we were blessed and didn’t lose anything. And slushy milk is almost as good as plain old cold milk!

3. I like to keep the house cool, but 48 degrees is a little too cool. At one point yesterday it was warmer outside than inside. The first night it was fun sleeping in the bed with K and the dog (B was at work) under a ton of blankets. The second night…it was down to 53 when we got home from the swim meet so while B slept, K and I went to my parents to shower and eat and then I took the dog home and left K there to watch I Love Lucy with my mom and to sleep in her warm, fuzzy sheets. Pippi and I didn’t fare quite as well the second night – I kept waking up thinking the power was back on and, even with the heavy sweats, fleece jacket, wool socks, and knit hat, under 4 blankets, I was cold. So was the dog. Monday I actually slept in until almost 7am since I wasn’t able to work at home. I got up, called in, put on another fleece, walked the dog, noted the temperature had fallen to 48, and packed K’s lunch. I spent the morning putting away all the 1) canning crap that had been left in the kitchen when the power went out Saturday, 2) all the other crap that had been put in random places in the dark.

4. Coaching at a meet is tiring. The meet was delayed an hour (thank goodness I texted another coach since I didn’t have e-mail) so we got there about 7am. I felt really bad for K putting on her swim suit in a 53 degree house. I then ran around like a chicken for an hour trying to check kids in, figure out where I was supposed to be, etc. I was there on deck then until about 1:30 and I was exhausted. My cheeks were permanently red and my feet were sore from standing in flip flops. It was fun though. And I get paid for doing it, which is unbelievable!

5. I have so much to learn as a coach (I knew that one already)! I was all about the “hey great swim, look at that time, big picture, etc. and honestly, didn’t notice all the fine technical points of strokes. Another coach who is an amazing technician took care of that for me. So, I pep talked my kids before the race, cheered for them during the race, high fived them after the race, and let her do the constructive criticism piece. I’ll continue to work on stroke with them in practice. It’s amazing how well some kids can drill at practice, but then totally forget about technique in the race!

6. I am too competitive. There are certain kids (a couple from our team, but not too many) I REALLY want my kid to beat. I don’t tell HER that of course, but I secretly rejoice when she crushes them in the event. Does that make me a bad person? Probably not, but it is most likely a sign that I am already a bad person, right?! She did so well…best times in everything (of course, two of the events she had never swum before!). She beat her 100 IM time (converted) from the summer by over 3 seconds, which is super and did really well in her 1^st 50 fly and 100 frees. She finished way down in the pack in everything, but was 4^th or 5^th among the 9-10s on her team, which I think was great, especially since two of those girls are nearly 11 and will be swimming 11-12 this year! I was so proud of her.

7. Coaching would be more fun if no parents were involved. I love the kids. I love watching them improve. Parents who expect miracles and perfection…not so much. My least favorite comment from a kid… “my mom/dad says.” Last week I heard about the correct way to drill butterfly (wrong), where to look in freestyle (wrong), timing a breaststroke kick (kind of right), and how to hold a kickboard (who cares?). Apparently though, I did not perform miracles and make little Buffy (thanks, Sara for the name) able to do a perfect start, backstroke flip turn, or butterfly kick. I can teach them the correct way until I am blue in the face and have them drill it at practice until THEY are blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean they will do it right or at all in a meet. Hell, half of my group can barely make it through a practice without drowning…what the heck do they expect? Even Olympic swimmers got DQ’d when they were kids.

5 things (Week of 10/31)

2011-11-01T18:05:00.000-04:00

This week I am looking forward to…

1. Sleeping in a warm bed every night. Unfortunately, B will only be there one of those nights since he is working overnight all week again. I’m not looking forward to that, but I least I’ll have the dog to snuggle with.

2. Being able to watch football on Saturday (assuming there are no sneak snowstorms coming to knock power out again). I am really looking forward to the LSU vs. Alabama game. Hopefully it will live up to its hype.

3. Going out to dinner with my hubby on Saturday in between football games.

4. Finding my motivation to swim…it’s got to be there somewhere, right? I was so cold yesterday that I could not get my muscles warmed up enough to actually do anything more than swim. So…no intervals for me, just an old lady slogging through the pool.

5. Hugging my baby girl tonight when I see her!

Simple Woman's Digest post

2011-10-26T14:37:00.000-04:00

Another bloggy activity I will steal...

Outside my window: the dwindling sunlight through a tree that hasn't quite turned its leaves yet. You can tell the rain is coming. Also, the shed in need of a new door before every rodent in Pennside takes up residence inside.

I am hearing: Glenn Beck's interview with Pat Buchanan on GBTV last night. I love being able to listen to the TV shows while I work at home and the radio shows while I work in the office. The dog is strangely quiet though...I should probably check into that.

I am wearing: sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a fleece jacket which I had on to go to the chiropractor earlier today. Also, slippers, my glasses, and some seriously-in-need-of-a-cut hair.

In the kitchen: is a dishwasher that needs to be emptied.

I am thinking: about when the next migraine will hit. I came home from the chiro, took 2 alleve, and packed my neck in ice. So far it feels pretty good - a little stiff and sore, but not overly painful. I am also thinking that my sister's MOHS surgery today may just be the impetus I need to stop picking the skin off my lip for good this time.

I am thankful for: not having a headache at the moment. Also, being able to work at home pretty much whenever I want to. K told me the other night that she wishes I could work at home every day so she could see me in the morning. Me too, sweetie, me too. When she gets up in the morning, she staggers into my office on the way to the bathroom....usually with her hair all mussed and in her eyes, with her eyes half closed, all warm and cuddly from bed and dragging snoopy. She'll come in, climb up on my lap, and we'll snuggle for a minute before she decides she has to pee and demand some breakfast from her dad. That may be my favorite part of working from home.

I am reading: 1225 Christmas Tree Lane by Debbie Maccomber and Michael Vey, Prisoner of Cell 25 by Richard Paul Evans. I am also listening to The Neighbor by Lisa Gardner.

I am hoping: I get through today without a headache. Sense a theme here?

A few plans for the rest of the week: tonight is family game night which, sense I am home, can start right after home work is done. We might make a library run as well if there is time. Tomorrow B has off and will work on that shed door. We have another weekend at home sense we sold our tix for the PSU vs. Illinois game. Since B's hours at church got cut (long story) and we are suddenly finding outselves a little shorter than we'd like in our budget, he agreed to work overnights next week, starting this Saturday and Sunday. Add to that the swim meet Sunday morning at 6:30am and it was just impossible to go to a game with a 3:30 kickoff. B has a meeting at church Saturday morning so K and I will just hang out, make it a Cinderella Saturday and then hopefully do something fun in the afternoon until the game comes on.

5 things (week of 10/24)

2011-10-24T07:02:00.000-04:00

This week I am looking forward to...

1. Getting used to my new bed pillow. I bought a couple of faux-down pillows yesterday with the hopes that they last a little longer than the fiber fill variety. We shall see. It is way higher than the discarded pillow and I had a little trouble getting used to it last night. But on the plus side, my neck doesn't hurt this morning.

2.   Hugging K. when she wakes up this morning and telling her I love her.

3.   Reading my book while K. takes her piano lesson.

4.   Eating dinner together after swim practice tonight. Is it wrong to be happy that we don't have Scouts this week? I am already getting burned out on it and we've only had a few real meetings. I need a major attitude adjustment on that front.

5.   Cashing the 3 pay checks I have gotten from the Y and adding the total to our carpet fund.

It took my a long time to come up with my 5 this week...i kept thinking that I don't have any "things" that are happening this week. But, when I started thinking on a smaller scale, it was much easier to come up with my top 5 (and many more that I didn't post).

7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 1)

2011-10-21T06:45:00.000-04:00

1. I made two kids cry last night at swim practice. Okay...I didn't actually make them cry and I did my best to help them stop crying but...it makes me feel like a bad-a$$ coach if I say I made them cry. :) One of them was crying from the moments she stepped in the building because she was sore from Tuesday and tired from the two week virus that had her out of the water and just didn't want to swim.   She didn't, she watched. The other got a huge muggy on a butterfly set and felt sick so I had her sit out and rest until she felt like she wasn't going to puke. A little crying is good for the soul, I always say. Which is probably why I cry so much myself.

2. Trying to convince a bunch of 8-12 year olds that they are SUPPOSED to be a little sore and a lot tired after practice is essentially a waste of breath. I've got a great group - most of them really work hard. Some of them don't. They, like me, like to complain though. I just roll my eyes and ignore them most of the time.

3. K is going to be a flamenco dancer for Halloween. She liked the flouncy red dress and it is so long and big on her that it covers everything that needs to be covered and then some. We'll add a long sleeve shirt and some leggings under it, her black shoes and a flower in her hair and she'll be good to go.

4. I am looking forward to Halloween with equal parts dread and exileration. On the one hand, I really love Halloween candy. But on the other hand, I really love Halloween candy. As much as I like to eat chocolate, I know that all that sugar just does bad things to my personality so...I'll have to work extra hard to only steal one piece a day from K's haul without her catching me.

5. K's class is leading Mass today and I'm not able to go, unfortunately. She doesn't have a role, but they get to sit in the front of church and lead prayers, etc. I have a chiropractor appointment for my back/neck and I would have to leave early. I don't like to do that. It is conspicuous enough to be the only non-Catholic adult at Mass, let alone being there is sweats and leaving early. Next time.

6. B sent some seltzer in K's water bottle in her lunch yesterday. K took it out and tried to open it and promptly created a fountain of seltzer all over herself and the table. According to her, there was only about 1/5 of it left when it stopped squirting. She put it away and took it out again before lunch was over to take a drink. It did the same thing. We've both advised B to avoid the seltzer in future lunches.

7. Something is squeaking in my house but I have no idea what it is or where it is coming from. It's definitely an electronic sounding squeak, not an animals sounding squeak, which is a good thing, I guess. It is driving me nuts though. It is not consistent or even frequent enough that I can track it by sound. It's just periodically annoying.

The rules of this blogging activitiy say 7, but I have more than 7 so...you'll get over it.

8. For some reason my ears and the back of my head have been itching intensely. So much so that I have made B check me for lice just to be sure. I've scratched my right ear open and it is now all scabbed over. The best I can figure is it is from all the sweat and chlorine (I am often soaked with sweat by the time practice is over b/c it get so flipping hot on deck) with maybe some allergy component, but it is driving me nuts.

9. My sister has squamous cell cancer on her lip. She'll be having MOHS surgery to remove it which is supposed to minimize scarring and have the highest "cure" rate. I'll be honest, using the word cancer though in relation to anyone I love freaks me out a bit.

10. I had a horrid week of work this week. I spent a chunk of Wednesday afternoon crying in my boss's office. I'm not sure how to repair the relationship with her or how exactly we got to this point but I feel right now like I have a giant target on me and no one has my back, least of all her. She said some very harsh things to me (which exacerbated the crying) which reflected how she really feels about me and about having me as an employee. I am feeling really discouraged and, yes, quite down on myself. I really, REALLY want to find a new job, but now I feel even more trapped knowing what exactly she will tell anyone who calls for a reference. And also, there is the whole "I don't want to subject a new boss to my awfulness" component.  Also, I am humiliated by the crying and just want to crawl in a hole. Being angry, frustrated, and tired is a bad combo for me and once the tears started and she zeroed in for the kill, I couldn't get them to stop. I think she ended up feeling bad about it, but by then it was too late - she had already said the things she said and there's really no taking that kind of stuff back. So anyway...discouraged, humiliated, trapped. Yep, great week.

11. My puggy-brother is visiting us for the week while my parents visit my sister and her family. We were all planning to go next week to watch my neices swim at Districts. Then they changed Districts to the week earlier and we were supposed to have our first meet that weekend. So we couldn't go. Then they changed OUR meet to the following weekend so we actually could have gone. But by then airplane tickets had already been purchased and it was too late. So we are home and they are in FL. But I bet we'll have better weather! We are all driving down the week between Christmas and New Year's and I can't wait!

12.  Last week I decided to swim a masters meet or two and started to change my training to actually train rather than just swim for fitness. I didn't increase yardage at all but added some pulling and an actual aerobic set which occasionally requires me to swim a lap of butterfly. I will never set the pool on fire (20 50's on 1:15 is not all that impressive) and I will probably never be able to convince anyone I am an actual athelete, but I hope to get to the point where I 1) beat my 9 year old and 2) don't embarrass myself in public. At least drilling the kids has helped me work some of the kinks out of my own strokes. We'll see if the idea of competing actually sticks...I'm already wavering.

13. The migraines are getting out of control again. Even though fall is my favorite time of year, I hate it for that reason alone. Monday evening, right before scouts, the worst migraine of my life hit me. I thought I could power through the scout meeting, but it kept getting worse and worse and the girls were being PITA (talking and reading magezines among other things) and so I just ended the meeting mid-way, told the girls that I wasn't going to compete with them and if they weren't interested in having a meeting then we wouldn't. Of course, one of them took my "pack up and go home" literally and LEFT without telling anyone. I was planning to drive her home b/c HER mom was home with a headache. But she missed that part and took off and walked home. I was just slipping into panic mode when I called her mom and learned she was home. I started taking magnesium and am going to talk to the chiropractor about snapping my neck a few times to see if that helps.

14. I am going to call the Y today and set up my 1st of two free sessions with a Personal Trainer. I want to get stronger, but I'm not sure if lifteing heavier weights is compatible with also swimming faster? These old joints can only take so much.

There that's 14...I think I'll stop now.

Five Things, Week of 10/10

2011-10-11T10:43:00.000-04:00

I've decided to be more deliberate about updating my blog, not because anyone actually reads it besides my mother, but because I want a better record of what is happening around me. I write a lot in my head but I have been lazy about putting anything down on "paper."

So...every week I'm going to try to log several things (5?) I am looking forward to (to which I am looking forward?) and things that I loved about the week.

I had off yesterday (that will definitely be one of the things I loved about this week) so today is my Monday. This week I am looking foward to:

1. Seeing Dr. Dave, the chiropractor, this afternoon. My back and left hip are so sore. It will be worse tonight, but will hopefully start getting better tomorrow.

2. Swim pratice. Being on deck makes me happy (more often than not).

3. Only having to work in the office 2 days this week.

4. K's field trip to the zoo. I'm not going, but she is SO excited about going that it is hard not to look forward to it.

5. The walk-a-thon for Catholic Education on Sunday.

Funnies

2011-10-09T13:10:00.000-04:00

This week when I was up at school helping at lunch, a sweet little 1^st grader asked me to take the lid off her water bottle. So I loosened it, handed it back to her, and then asked her why it was pink. While she was explaining that she had put lemonade powder in it, she picked it up to show me how she mixed it up and gave it a good strong shake. When the lid threw off and the pink lemonade sprayed right in her eye and all over her face, shirt, and skort, I started to giggle. She froze for a moment and I worried that she was going to start to cry, but then she started to laugh hysterically and we both stood/sat there cracking up and mopping lemonade off of her face and the floor. Oops.

That afternoon K and I saw one of the sisters at the deli counter at Giant. We were chatting about shopping until I turned and yelled something about the slow service at the deli counter. Sister B. looked horrified with her mouth open starting at me, until I explained that I was just teasing my husband. I introduced them then but I still think she is appalled.

Yesterday when I was walking the dogs before we left for the football game, I came to the spot on Butter Lane where a dead mole was lying on the sidewalk. I had forgotten from the day before and wasn't paying very close attention, choosing instead to just enjoy the weather and wander in a half daze. This time when Pippi lunged for it, I had Gizmo to worry about too - 1 dog in each hand, plus a bag of poop. I saw the mole too late and when Pippi lunged for it, I pulled back on her leash and stepped back with my right foot. I and slipped, loosing my footing in the wet grass. To correct, I stepped back wtih my left foot and promptly fell off the curb, landing on my left flank and whacking my head in the street. I laid there limbs akimbo (I've always wanted to use that word in a post!) for a moment, wondering if anyone saw me sprawl in the middle of the road. I didn't let go of the dogs though. Yay me! Luckily, normal people are still sleeping at 7:30 on a Saturday and I was able to get myself up before I car cam whizzing up the hill and made me roadkill. The dogs couldn't have cared les about the entire experience. I did succeed in pulling Pippi far enough away from the mole though so she couldn't reach it. I limped home, holding Pippi in a death grip since my back was aching and my head was throbbing and made it home. B brushed all the dead leaves and street goo off my back and took the dogs. As the day went on, my back tightened up to the point that I couldn't sit comfortably and stood for the most of the 2nd half of the game.

2011-10-06T21:59:00.000-04:00

Well…that blah feeling continues, except now I am not sleeping. Oh boy do I WANT to sleep and I’m still really motivated to sleep…but sleep no come.

Why?

I could blame work. Yes, let’s go with that. I blame work. A little over two weeks ago I walked out of a department meeting. The reasons for it are fairly simple – it was 17 vs. 1 as the floor was opened by our manager for my co-workers to attack me and/or the job I do. I won’t get into the details, but suffice to say, I wasn’t going to sit there and listen to it. I took a calculated risk that my dear co-workers would not be showering me with accolades and love and I politely excused myself, explained that the conversation would probably continue more freely if I wasn’t present, and left. As 1) the meeting continued for quite some time after I walked out, 2) there was shouting involved that I could hear from my cubicle, and 3) my chair was still in the meeting room and I felt kind of stupid standing in my cubicle listening to the yelling…about me…I left work and went home. I admit, I was a basket case. I held it together until I got to my car and was most of the way home and then I just lost it. What the heck?

The next day, I expected an apology. Nope.

The next day, I expected an apology. Instead I was taken to task for being unprofessional and childish. I blubbered all over my friend H who is so much like my dad, it is funny. He just held my hand and patted me on the back and told me not to let them get to me. I love H. He was my suitemate for almost 12 years until we moved last month. Now I am confined to an interior office and his new neighbor is one of the biggest back-stabbing, do-nothings in this place. And that’s saying something.

I have asked an upper manager to intervene, but so far I am being largely ignored. So, yeah, I am a little stressed and as a result, tipped over the edge from “a little anxious” to “ANXIOUS!!!!” or what I like to call “nut case” and promptly stopped sleeping. For me, my long standing and oft repeated pattern goes from anxious to ANXIOUS!!!! to depressed and I was not overly thrilled about that prospect.

Last Friday, after a week plus of barely any sleep (except when I borrowed one of B’s 12.5mg Ambien CR) I went to the doctor and begged him to knock me over the head. Instead he gave me my very own Ambien, but it’s not CR, and only 10mg. I also, on doctor’s and B’s advice, restarted a medication that helps me manage the anxiety before and after it makes that leap to depression. And of course, a side effect of THAT is…not sleeping. Fabulous. So this weekend, even with the Ambien, I slept hardly at all. Last night I did accidentally take an expired pain pill that I had from one of my surgeries and that knocked me out a little but better. I might have managed 6 hours of not-so-restful sleep? I’m not sure, but I did feel slightly better this morning even with the post-narcotic hangover.

Tonight? I’m hoping the Ambien works.

Coaching started last Sunday and, other than the profuse sweating on deck, is going well. I was a little (lot) unprepared on Sunday b/c I expected our head coach to have the practice planned out for me and the other new coach. Instead we were given 30 kids and sent on our way. Ummm…help? It got a lot better after that though and after 6 practices, I think things are going well. I may change my mind next week when we get to butterfly and breastroke drills. There are only 4 weeks until our first invitational and then a couple of weeks until the first dual meet and the next invitational. I’m not sure how to get from where I am – backstroke drills – to meet ready, but I’m sure our experienced coaches will help me. I am the primary coach for the “average” 9 and 10 group, plus some better 8s and some 11s who need extra stroke work. The kids in my group aren’t brand new, but still need lots of technique work and most aren’t ready for the higher yardage practices. I will also be the assistant coach for the girls B team.

K is in my group, but she could probably move up if there was room. The problem is, the next group is stuffed full and the kids there that need to move up aren’t ready yet. Until THEY move up, there’s no room for the kids in MY group to move up. Since we all work on basically the same thing, it should all work out in the end. I am worried that K will be disappointed when she isn’t the speed demon this year – she’s moving up from 25s to 50s and 100s and is at the bottom of her age group. We have been really stressing that she is only racing herself and trying to improve her own strokes and times and that she shouldn’t worry about everyone else or what they are doing. She loves those trophies though.

As bad as work has been for me that’s how good school is going for K. She LOVES it. She likes the uniform, she likes the homework (sometimes), she loves her teacher, she’s made new friends, she is learning Spanish, etc. She hasn’t had anything negative to say about it yet. I have been volunteering in the cafeteria 2x a month during my lunch break and it is kind of fun. They keep good order there and all I have to do is open up milk containers and other packages for the little kids, mop up spills, and wipe the tables between lunches. I leave before the last lunch for the big kids b/c they don’t need help and I only get so long on my lunch break! K likes having me come up to school and hopefully over time I will get to know some of the kids in her class.

I admit, sitting here typing this, I feel a little (lot) guilty. My life is a good one. I really have nothing to complain about and I don’t want anyone to have the impression that I am not intensely grateful for everything God has given me. I am healthy (physically anyway), I have a job that pays the bills, I have a husband who adores me and who I adore right back in spite of his uncanny ability to fall asleep when he is supposed to be keeping me company and rubbing my back when *I* can’t sleep, and I have an amazing, incredible, smart, funny, well adjusted daughter who cracks me up regularly. I sit here from my safe by whiny perch and watch my sister struggle under incredible and indescribable stress caused by her loony and vindictive ex-husband and read regular blog updates describing a little girl’s struggle with terminal cancer and I am thankful and am reminded how much I really do love my life.

Sunday, bloody Sunday.

2011-09-06T10:03:00.000-04:00

No motivation to blog lately. In fact, my only real motivation seems to be to sleep. Why is it, I wonder, that I can function reasonably well during the work week on 6 hours of sleep most days, but when I go on vacation I need 8+ hours at night plus an hour and a half nap in the afternoon? And when I get back from vacation, going back to the 6 hours a night just about kills me. Since we’ve been back from vacation I have been in the office a grand total of 5 days, worked at home for 4, and had off 3. And every chance I get, I am sleeping. I must be getting ready to hibernate for the winter? Man I wish I COULD hibernate for the winter.

So, here’s a much overdue vacation and beyond update:

We left for vacation at a bright and early 4am. B had woken up at 2:45 and Pippi immediately took his place in the bed, curling up against my back with her head on the pillow. My alarm went off at 3:00AM and I pulled on some clothes, ran my fingers through my hair, convinced Gizmo to get the heck off the bed, and took the dogs for a walk. I had gone around the block and was crossing the street by the field when I heard what sounded like three gun shots from somewhere behind me. I was already a little freaked out by the Chevy Trailblazer that drove by me at 3:00AM and then sat at the stop sign until long after I walked by. Then the gun shots. I picked up my pace and got my phone out – speed dialing B. I told him what I heard and what I saw and how I was scared. He grabbed the .45 and got in the car and drove around the neighborhood looking for dead bodies lying in the street. As no one else in the neighborhood was awake and there were no bodies lying in the street, he determined that I was nuts and went home to make breakfast and load the cooler in the car. I calmed down, took the dogs on their walk and went home. We never did figure out where the shots came from, but I guess it could have been someone up on the mountain shooting off M80s or something. At least we didn’t run into a skunk.

The traffic in NC was horrid and it took forever to get to the beach. It was after 4pm when we got in the house. We quickly unloaded, put the food away, and then K and I headed down to the beach to meet her beach friends M1 and M2. We had first met M1 and M2 and their mom ST two summers ago. M1 and M2 were adopted from Viet Nam. M1 is K’s age and they had a great week two years ago, boogie boarding and playing in the pool. M2 is almost 6 and is a sweet little peanut. She’ll be starting Kindergarten in the fall and just wanted to play with K and M1. Last summer we weren’t able to match up our vacation trips, but this year they came down for a second trip – getting a Wednesday to Monday rental – so we overlapped 2 days. The girls played for two hours in the ocean and then for a few minutes in the pool before we dragged K inside for dinner and bed. Sunday the weather was great until mid afternoon when the storms rolled in and the girls played at the beach all day. We got a little bit of pool time in between storms, hid on our porch while it rained, and then gave up for diner. We ended the day with ice cream at ST’s condo during a hellacious thunderstorm and then we headed back to our house so they could finish packing. They headed home Monday ready to start school on Wednesday. I wish we could figure out a way to overlap again next year but it’s not looking unless they can do another split week. Counties are the week before, so we would either have to miss Counties or miss part of our week at the beach which seems like a waste of money. Oh well…we’ll do our best to keep in touch this year again. K learned to body surf this year. Sporting her stingray board suit, I helped her time her swim and she finally managed to catch a couple of good waves! Sunday and Monday we had super surfing waves. Tuesday we had NO waves at all. It was completely calm – all day. But the weather was gorgeous.

Even though we are 600 miles from home, I was still on boob patrol. There were many shining examples of ladies whose girls are not properly supported or covered. My favorite (?) belonged to our neighbor there, an extremely large grandmother wearing a string bikini top and board shorts. The top covered…not enough. Not nearly enough. We’ll leave it at that. Her husband sported an attractive sleeveless undershirt and a thong under his shorts (wouldn’t you love to know why I know that? I can’t tell you, I’ve had to block it out to sleep at night). There were also the usual young ladies who think they are hot stuff, wearing string bikinis when they should be wearing spanx, but whatever.

I am ashamed to admit that I, the self appointed sunscreen nazi, got fried on Sunday, the 2^nd day of vacation. I was so concerned with letting K and M1 play for as long as possible, it was after 2:00PM until I got K to go up for lunch. I had, apparently, missed a few spots when I reapplied sun screen and my neck, arm pit, and left thigh were crispified. It hurt. I borrowed B’s extra surf shirt in the afternoon and the next couple of days as well. B, of course, took some pictures to memorialize the occasion since I am generally under a tree avoiding the sun at all costs.

On other days we hit the beach before 9am, set up the tents, and then hit the waves. Sometime around 10:30am, we’d take a mid-morning sun-screen and granola bar break. We had purchased two bottles of the new Neutrogena Wet Spray to use at the beach and it worked really well for K and for us. I was also back and forth to the bathroom at least once a morning, sometimes twice - too much coffee apparently. We would head back to the house at lunch time, take a quick dip in the pool, have lunch, and then send me to bed for my afternoon nap. Sometime around 2:30pm, I’d crawl out of bed and ask B why he let me sleep so long. We’d grease up again and hit the beach again by 3pm. Pool, showers, dinner, and ice cream wound out the day. K was in bed by 8pm, asleep by 8:05pm, and B and I were free to walk on the beach for a little while and then pass-out ourselves.

The only deviation from the schedule was Thursday when we went out to lunch for K’s birthday. She didn’t want to spend the last beach day away from the beach so we celebrated the day before. We went to our usual place (rut anyone?) at K’s request and then did a little shopping afterwards. We baked a birthday cake for her and had it after dinner, complete with candles. Her presents had made their way down south with us as well and she was thrilled to open them. Lunch box stuffed with dollars from Gmom and Gdad? Loved it. Swim bag, books, and notepaper not stuffed with dollars from mom and dad? Not as exciting.

We headed home at about 6am on Saturday, stopping for our annual breakfast at the Garden City Pancake House and then hitting the road by 6:45am. We were home before 6pm and after greeting an ecstatic Pippi and a less ecstatic E, we grilled some hamburgers, unpacked, and collapsed into bed.

Sunday…ahhhh, Sunday. Sunday I got up, walked the dog, and took myself to church where I arrived at 7:15am with the intent to actually practice the music I was playing that day. Having left my keys at home, I sat and cooled my heels in the parking lot until almost 8am when someone else with a key arrived. I ran through things, managed to play everything reasonably well, and waited for the rest of the band to arrive. And waited. And waited. I ended up with no drums, no guitar, and 2 singers. And when I tried to play things with the singers – couldn’t do it. I could NOT play 2 of the songs at all. I honestly wanted to just pack up and go home. What the heck was I supposed to do? I couldn’t play them without the guitar there. What we ended up doing was essentially skipping the 1^st song and repeating one of the other songs in place of the last song. And the songs I DID figure out how to play – totally lame. It was an unmitigated disaster and I was totally humiliated, even more so b/c the new associate music director who was obviously not me, who was officially introduced that morning and told everyone how excited she was to work with us and meet us all and blah, blah, blah, sat…in the pews watching rather than joining us. After church was over, I cried, cleaned up, pulled music for the next month, and then went home in disgrace with plans to never return. I was feeling pretty bad about ending my music leadership on that lousy note, but…I guess it’s good for everyone that it is ended.

Speaking of ending...I believe that when God closes one door, he opens a window and sometimes shoves you out. Even though I am no longer needed or wanted to lead worship at church after doing it for 10 years, I AM apparently needed and wanted to coach swimming. Thursday at work, my daughter’s swim coach called and asked if I would be interested in coaching the younger kids this winter. Ummm…do you have a wrong number or something? After talking it over with B and getting some encouragement from my sister, I accepted the job. So, for better or worse, I will be coaching this fall and winter. God help us all. I plan to write about the whole door/window thing as soon as I can find some time.

Sportsmanship

2011-08-08T08:04:00.000-04:00

Sportsmanship: conduct (as fairness, respect for one's opponent, and graciousness in winning or losing) becoming to one participating in a sport.

Last Sunday was the “Silver” meet for our County swim league. Last year, someone decided that the speedy 8-and-unders (“8Us”) should be removed from the County Championship Meet (“Counties”) (does anyone else notice that the league’s biggest voice no longer has an 8 year old swimming???) and should have their own championship meet – dubbed the Silver Meet. At this Silver Meet the kids who medal would have the opportunity to not only win awards but to also score points in some sort of convoluted procedure that made no sense to anyone, which would then be added to the Counties for calculating overall team champions. Only the Silver Meet isn’t just the championship for the speedy 8Us who would have otherwise qualified for Counties, it is also the championship for EVERY 8U – good, bad, and nearly drowning. That in itself wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, but the meet also was open to EVERY kid in EVERY other age group who did not qualify for Counties. The Silver Meet was meant to replace the Novice meet which previously gave B swimmers a chance to win awards at a “big” meet. To a certain extent the Silver met that purpose but adding in the full complement of 8Us was, IMO, extremely ill advised. Instead of replacing the novice meet and giving everyone the chance to win something, the non-speedy 8Us didn’t have a snowball’s chance in heck of winning ANYTHING, thus defeating the stated purpose of the Silver meet and disappointing 8Us everywhere. What it also did was make the meet over 7 hours long as we watched 19 heats of 8Us swim every frigging event. Oh, and did I mention the Silver Meet was a “trial” for this year and they will reevaluate it at the coming meetings?

I stupidly signed up to officiate. As more and more people are realizing, if you play on my guilt complex, I will agree to do things that I have no desire or interest in actually doing – like working the Silver Meet. For 7 hours. Plus the 75 minutes of waiting and standing around twiddling my thumbs before the meet actually started 30 minutes late. Although I give nod to the people running the meet for taking the project on their shoulders and trying to make it successful – it did not start well and had SO many things wrong with it that I’m not sure what they’ll do next year. For example, in no particular order: they ran out of heat sheets, they didn’t have any sheets for the heat benches or officials to start the meet, they had multiple computer problems throughout the day, no one more than 5 feet from the scorer’s tent could understand ANYTHING, there was limited shade and it was hotter than heck and really crowded, the starter held the kids forever and there were long pauses between heats which made the meet at least an hour longer than it needed to be, etc. I could go on, but that would just be piling on and since I generally respect and like the people who were running the meet, I don’t want to bash it too much. Suffice to say that 1) I will not be working it next year (unless someone guilts me into it) and 2) K will not be swimming it under any circumstances, even if she doesn’t qualify for Counties (or so I say now).

We did not hold out much hope for K’s swimming though. She went to a friend’s house after practice on Friday and get a big bite below her eye brow. Or we assumed it was a big bite since we couldn’t actually see a bite but it was puffy and red and itchy. We gave her an antihistamine which did nothing and then my mom gave her a benedryl before bed since she slept over a their house. When she woke up Saturday morning, her eye was completely swollen shut and the swelling went out into her cheek and forehead! Yikes! We got her an appt. at her pediatrician’s Wyomissing office and were told to…give her benedryl. Because she couldn’t see she also got steroids to take 2x a day. The combo of medicine made her really tired and the itching made her cranky. A friend came over to spend the day and they just kind of chilled through the afternoon. She went to bed early, still really swollen, and woke up…much less swollen and feeling okay. She thought she could try and get her goggles on and race so we packed up and headed to the meet. No medicine to make her groggy, but great worries that the swelling would increase without it.

Her first individual event was the 25 butterfly which always cracks me up when she swims it. She was seated 6^th fastest – swimming in lane 1 of the final heat. The girl who was expected to win everything that day and had won everything all season – B – was in lane 3. I was officiating touches at the end between lanes 3 and 4 so I had a bird’ eye view. K swam a great race and it was really close between her and lanes 3 and 4. And in the end…K touched first. She won with her best time ever and earned a rubber ducky for winning her heat. I did a little fist pump when she touched first and gave her a big hug when she got out of the water for swimming so well. She was just excited about the duck – I wish I had been there when she realized she got first place and would get a trophy…

When it was time for the awards ceremony, I was able to take a break and go watch. They called B in 3^rd place and the look on her face – and her mother’s – was priceless. They really believed she had won and couldn’t comprehend that she had finished not even 2^nd but 3^rd! B stood there scowling at her mother until K stepped up on the podium and turned to B, we think to shake her hand. According to K, B said something like “you didn’t win, I won.” K looked momentarily confused but then went back to smiling hugely with her big trophy in hand. The mother’s face just got scowlier and scowlier and when the kids climbed off the podium, she grabbed the trophy from B and examined the time on the bottom.

Long story short…B’s mother went to the scorer’s tent and demanded that her daughter be awarded first place. The timers obviously switched the cards. The place judge obviously got it wrong. Or whatever. Her daughter had clearly won and K had not possibly beaten her. I came to find this out when the meet director, came over and asked, “did your daughter swim butterfly?” Yes. “Did she win?” Yes. Why? I was told not to worry that everything was legit (yeah, I was watching…K touched first). But when you’re told that someone is disparaging your child and trying to take away something she has earned…I was a little peeved. My peevishness continued when I found out that B’s mom was shooting off her mouth to everyone who would listen. Whatever. K was happy and it gave us the opportunity to talk to her about being a good sport – win or lose.

But it gets better. Fast forward to the 25 free. K was again racing against B. B out touched her, but barely, giving K a very unexpected 2^nd place and another trophy (she loves trophies). At that awards ceremony B’s mother was strutting around and when K got her 2^nd place trophy – pronounced, “they finally got one right” loud enough for my family to hear. Nice. Very classy. K was thrilled with her 2^nd place and another best time. Other people noticed her behavior and were remarking on it as well, without knowing who K was. I desperately wanted to get in her face and scold her, but I was afraid the grandmother, a fierce looking woman, would beat me up, or the mother would sit on me.

B went on to win another 1^st place, which caused her mother to demand to know if they would be awarding high point winner trophies. K won 4^th in the same event – dropping her time by 2 seconds.

All in all, we were thrilled to death with how well K swam – especially given the swelling in her eye and the drugs in her system. But the entire thing left a bad taste in my mouth and not just because of the mother’s behavior, but because of mine.

One of K’s initial reactions when she realized she had won the butterfly was “I beat B!” Her dad and grandparents shushed her and redirected her enthusiasm to her great time and the fact that she won the event, not to her beating one particular person. But I have to admit that my first reaction when I realized she had won was also…”she beat B!” Luckily I said it in my head and later to my dad and not loud enough for the world to hear. And as we were leaving for the day, she was telling her winter coach about her swims and pronounced again as part of the narrative, “I beat that B girl!” causing me to put my hand over her mouth and blush furiously while coach laughed. Crap.

It shouldn’t be about beating one kid…and it wasn’t. But our joy in her good swim was also colored by surprise – because in summer 8U swimming this year, B has been like Michael Phelps, and just about as unbeatable! So our reactions were more about shock and amazement rather than maliciousness, but still…I’m not proud or myself or of K. I’m also not proud that I continued to talk about what a bad sport her mother was for the rest of the meet. It made me so angry that someone else was so unkind to my kid – and in public too. But I’m afraid that my talking about what a bad sport SHE was made ME look like just as bad a sport. Oops. My true feeling is that they are 8 and it really doesn’t matter. Being a County champion at 8 is really low on the life importance scale. But I don’t think I reflected that idea very well in my indignation that someone was mean to my kid. The situation made me sad for B too (chip off the old block that she is) because THAT is the role model she has to follow – if you don’t win, throw a fit. How much longer is she going to enjoy swimming when she no longer wins everything (which will be this winter and next summer when she moves up to the 9s and swims against much better kids)?. We know that K will no longer be an “A” swimmer when she moves up this season, but I hope that we will continue to encourage her to race against herself and keep getting better, knowing that it isn’t about beating G (a County champ several times over at the age of 9) or A (another really good 9 year old) or any of the other talented little girls out there. She loves to win, but I hope we’ve taught her that it isn’t about winning, it’s about improving your time and doing well for your team. I hope that our message finds root in her brain and helps her continue to love swimming, no matter how many ribbons she wins. But B? As B continues to grow will she love swimming or just hate losing more?

Anyway…

Fast forward through the week to Counties this weekend. I worked the Saturday prelims and Sunday finals. It was fun and so much better run than the week before…but it was also a lot cooler and not as long, so that made it seem better overall. It is really hard for me to stand there and not cheer for kids that I know. We went into the meet in 2^nd place after the Silver meet and our team had some good swims. Unfortunately, Boyertown swimmers made up about 50-75% of most event finals and GV had most of the rest, so there wasn’t much chance for any other teams to win, place, or show overall.

In between last week’s meet and this week’s meet we had a dog with diarrhea, a kid who was puking, and a mom with sleep deprivation who actually had to go into the city 3 days and actually had to work a full week – a rarity this summer! K had camp all week – which was great. She was at a camp that does art in the AM and sports in the PM so she loved it. The art part had a show Friday morning and I got to see all of the cool things they worked on this year. She brought home a coffee can bug, a multimedia solar system, some interesting photography, and a fused glass shoe. We will pick up her clay dinosaur when we get back from vacation. She made some new friends and had a great time. Week two of camp is when we return from vacation.

Speaking of vacation – 3 days and counting.

Good for a 50 anyway

2011-07-26T16:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday at K’s swim meet I got to relive my youth and swim the backstroke in the 15 and over (way over) medley relay. Since it was the last meet, we asked if we could do a mom’s relay. They made us be exhibition, which was okay since we had trouble finding a freestyler. Our preferred freestyler was on vacation and our substitute refused to get her hair wet, but we finally ~~coerced~~ encouraged someone with a swimsuit that could withstand diving in off the blocks without falling off, to join us. We all changed and three of us warmed up in the diving well while the little kids were warming up. We got to do some starts with the 8 year olds but I didn’t get to actually practice my turn at full speed more than once. After warm-ups, I got back into official mode and tried to wrangle the timers together so we could start the meet on time. I convinced the man who had signed up to start (we don’t have any actual qualifications for our team to be a starter) to time instead because I needed that more and I started and walked the deck on the long side. I had been warned that the parents from the other team were a little…intense…and the coaches offered to set up yellow crime scene tape to cordon off the deck for me to walk, but I decided that I would rather just shove someone in the water if he or she got in my face. I did hear one mom loudly say, “that official was…” before the meet started but I didn’t catch the end because I turned around and glared at her as I was walking and she shushed. Except for the grand-parents and the occasional dad who got in my way to take pictures (hello? Could you stand behind me until I get the kids off the block so they aren’t confused by your flash in the same vicinity as the beeping/flashing thingy that starts the race??), it wasn’t too bad. I did physically move two children out of my way and found myself hushing the kids behind the blocks with some regularity, but overall it wasn’t too bad.

So for the medley relay the announcer surprised me and combined the last 4 events into one heat – forcing me to toss the starting button, strip, and run like the spaz that I am to ask the aforementioned dad to start this heat and then get to the blocks on time. I did keep my whistle though so that I could whistle the swimmers (me included!) into the water. It was pretty funny. I blew the whistle, tossed it on the deck, and then hopped in.

I did a semi-decent start for someone that hasn’t done it in 20 years and has a bad back, and I was very pleased that my goggles stayed put. I even did some dolphin kicks under water on both my start and turn. Of course, having no actual strength in my kick, that didn’t help much. I stayed about ½ a body length behind the other team’s girl to the turn, did an okay turn, and started praying about ½ way down the pool for the flags to appear so I could be almost done. I was getting tired but I kept reminding myself that I would be done soon and that I couldn’t slack off and embarrass myself so I kept my kick going and my turnover relatively fast and finally I saw the flags and took my last 4 strokes and was done. I finished about a body length behind the other team’s actual 15 and over girl, which I don’t think was too bad for an old fart such as myself who doesn’t actually train to do anything. Granted, had it been a 100 meters instead of 50 meters, I would not be saying that. Or I would have had to go out slower or something. It would have hurt a lot more to do two more laps though.

I hopped out of the pool, grabbed my whistle, put my glasses on, and went back and walked the deck for the rest of the race while I caught my breath. What impressed me most was the 50 fly that my friend Patty cranked out.

Did my dad get the split time for me like I asked? No.

Did my husband get any pictures of my start like I asked? No.

Did my daughter and her friends stand on the end and cheer for me? No.

Apparently they didn’t realize I was swimming until the race was half over. I’m not sure which “Prisk” they thought was swimming in the 15 and over relay, but…whatever. So, I have no idea how quickly (slowly) I swam it, no one watched my start to give me any feedback, no one commented on my stroke or turn. It was, to be honest, a non-event for everyone but me. I had fun though! Now I’m back to toying with the idea of swimming masters, but I’m not sure I want to train to actually race vs. swim for fitness. I lack the motivation (not to mention ability).

We made it half way through the meet before the thunderstorm rolled in and we had to clear the area. It was a good 45 minute delay, but it did eventually clear (with intermittent drizzle in the are). Boy was it chilly though! We finished the meet and I was home by 9:30 but it took an hour to unwind and get to sleep…so I laid there rehashing the meet with my intermittently snoring husband. “So do you feel young again?” he asked while I iced my aching back and tweezed the whiskers on my chin that I am chalking up to…what? perimenipause? something….and laughed at him. “Absolutely.”

I cried at work today, which I have not done in a while and don’t plan to do again anytime soon. Last week a co-worker (an attorney) informed me that I was not qualified to do a task that I have done repeatedly for the last 10+ years. He/She was very insulting in the way his/her opinion was delivered, prefacing his/her comments with “with all due respect, CariP.” I immediately got my dander up but promised him/her that I’d get him what he/she wanted despite his/her insult. Long story short, I got a call about 20 minutes later from his/her boss (with him/her in the room). “CariP, you know we like you.” “Attorney Supervisor (AS),” I responded, “I don’t really think that is the issue.” AS persisted with the need to get a “professional” to do the job with some expertise, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was angry, but whatever. I talked to the “in-the-field” person next and he/she agreed that we should have a conference call all together to discuss the information that I was putting together – you know, the non-professional, non-expert information.

Today was the call, which my boss forgot about and left me in the office with the insulting co-worker and the condescending AS. I was fine until said AS insisted that we get a “professional” report rather than my (non-professional) report. When I asked AS to explain what exactly he/she thought would be IN the report that I hadn’t already given them, AS could not articulate it and got snotty and kind of rude about it. What they are asking for isn’t for the information it is for interpretation of the information which is the job of an attorney (ummm….THEM???) but because they don’t feel qualified to interpret the documents (i.e., do THEIR job), they insult me and my ability to do MY job, challenging my hard fought reputation, and really throwing a bucket of cold water on my desire to ever work with them again in the future. I tried to explain to them that what they are looking for isn’t MY job and won’t be contained in a “professional” version of my job but since I am apparently too stupid to do my job, I am also too stupid to explain my job to them. I was SO angry I could feel the tears coming and excused myself, claiming another meeting, and left. I cried in the bathroom and then in my boss’ office while I filled her in.

My boss, who missed the meeting because of a conflict, doesn’t think that I have any reason to be upset and actually kind of pooh-poohed it in an effort to, I think, make me feel better? So now I have AS who is the AS on 90% of my work and one of his/her staff people questioning my reputation out loud and to whomever will listen and my boss who doesn’t think it is an issue but will talk to AS about it…and you wonder why I want to come to work every day?

Why I am looking forward to High School swim season, or…why I am coming to hate summer swimming.

2011-07-19T11:50:00.000-04:00

In no particular order...

· Parents who sign up to volunteer and then conveniently forget to show up or parents who show up for the meet and have an excuse for not working but didn’t find anyone to sub for them. Starting at 5:45pm last night, I made three announcements and someone else made one to get all of the timers, judges, and officials to the scorer’s table. One of those announcements was “Antietam parents, we are missing 9 timers and we will not start the meet until we have them.” We ended up starting late and still being short 3 timers. I went with two in each lane with two alternates. Stuff happens and some excuses are legitimate – illness for example – but some people are just lazy and it ticks me off.

· Parents who stand around chit chatting while the coaches and handful of parents (one of them being me) help set up for the meet.

· Parents who don’t help at ALL at ANY meet ALL season and leadership who can’t enforce the requirements because there are no consequences spelled out when you sign up.

· Families who don’t contribute anything all season towards the concessions. (See above for enforcing requirements.)

· Families who don’t bother to tell the coaches their kids aren’t coming so that the coaches can do line-ups without calling 15 people at 5:30pm to see if they are coming for a 6:00pm meet.

· Parents who don’t bother to come to parents’ meetings or read their e-mail to get information on meets, practices, team policies, etc.

· A starter who can’t call false starts because she is not an actual official and who mumbles the starting instructions so that no one can hear her because she is bored and uninterested but insists on starting because she has done it for years. I’ve started our meets all year (all two of them, plus time trials) and walked the deck too. I think I did a reasonably good job and at least knew what the heck I was doing even if I didn’t do it well. Last night (and next week in advance)…frustrating.

· Being one of a very few people who takes her job seriously. Yes, it is summer swimming which is very relaxed for many reasons, but…come on. It’s still swimming and the kids deserve consistency from the timers and officials.

· Coaches who put giant 9 and 10s in to swim exhibition with the 8 year olds, THREE HEATS of 11-12 exhibition freestyle, who run heats of 13-14 exhibitions in 50 meters instead of the usual 100 meters they are supposed to swim, and who put ANY exhibition heats in the 15+ age group. Seriously? Oh, and I loved the 15+ girl swimming 100 fly with the 15+ boy swimming 100 free. Huh? I love the coach in question, but it was really confusing and really irritating to have no idea what the heck is going on.

· Coaches who put heats of exhibition breaststroke when they KNOW the kids are all horribly illegal.

· Parents of opposing teams who set up chairs in front of the bleachers so no one behind them can see.

· Swimmers and siblings who stand or sit in the path that I have been walking all evening and have to be 1) asked repeatedly to move or 2) forcibly moved while I’m walking while the coaches sit there and do nothing or get in the way themselves. First time I end up falling or in the pool when someone trips me I’m going to go berserk.

· And my favorite gripe of the evening…parents who think it is appropriate to ARGUE with me about whether their kid was illegal in a stroke. In front of the kid. Case in point – last night I observed an 8 year old boy in lane 1 touch with 1 hand in breast stroke. It was clear as day. The place judges all saw it too. Because I was slightly out of position to call it I didn’t DQ him. However, I went over and explained that even though I wasn’t DQing him, I had seen him touch with one hand and wanted him to remember next time to get both hands on the wall at the same time so there is no doubt. Mom got all indignant and shouted at me about how the kid clearly touched with two hands. Ummm…No. He. Didn’t.

Vent over. Thanks.

The Pippi Chronicles

2011-06-20T08:25:00.000-04:00

I guess enough time has passed that I ought to actually write about things so I have them for posterity. Or at least until a terrorist activated EMP erases everything on my hard drive.

So, yes, Pippi...

Friday, June 3, K and I set off for school to take advantage of the beautiful day. We made it to within 3/4 block of the school when I had to stop and tie my stupid sneaker. I stomped on the leash while I tied my shoe and as I stood up, somehow, I'm not quite sure how, Pippi saw something and took off. I chased her, leaving poor K standing on the side walk, running through the church parking lot, into the stone alley. I almost had her at one point when she paused but then she saw (another? the same?) bunny and was off again. This time, I knew she was going to get hurt and my heart was beating 200 beats a minute as I screamed for her and gave chase again. She whipped around a house after the bunny and ran...right out into the street. I rounded the corner screaming and saw a lady standing in the street staring at me with her mouth open and a black SUV stopped in the road and I kept yelling, did she get hit, did she get hit? I saw Pippi in the road and she was yelping and making the most horrid noise and slunk over to the side walk with her back end tucked and her ears flat. She was essentially screaming in pain. I almost died then and there. I sank down on my knees in the grass over her and started to wail, very attractively and the picture of "calm in a crises." There were a few people around and one by stander who came over and tried to help. The man who was driving the SUV got out and was very upset and apologizing profusely while I cried. It was quite a sight - keep in mind that this was in front of the the primary center so all the parents were bringing their kindergardeners and first graders to drop off. The road was blocked by the SUV, I was kneeling in the grass crying trying to figure out what to do, and people were standing around watching. The police we already there to do traffic control for kiddo drop off and the chief rolled up shortly after. I had no cell phone, no idea where K or her back pack (I had tossed it in chase) were, and no idea how badly Pippi was injured or how I was going to get home with her or to the vet. I was trying to decide whether to go find K with Pippi in my arms and then try to walk home, wondering if Pippi was going to die in the 15 minutes that would take me. Finally the chief went to find K while I stayed huddled over Pippi and waited. They found K and her bag, delivered her to school, I stood in the street crying while the officer tried to call B, asked a friend if he had driven and could take me home (he had not, but he very kindly went to check on K for me!), and finally got a ride home from another officer while the 1st responded to an overdose somewhere in the area. All of this took maybe 5 minutes start to finish, but it seemed like HOURS to me.

Pippi was no longer crying but she was shaking, hair was falling out of her in clumps, and she stank to high heavens from the stress. There was obviously something wrong with her back leg, but beyond that I did not take the time to assess her injuries, mostly because I was too scared to really look. I ran to the house with her still in my arms, yelled for E. to get the phone, and then rather than wait for him to call the vet (a whole other frustration) asked him to grab my pocketbook and meet me in the car. He grabbed his shoes (after I reminded him to get them) and got in the car. I handed him Pippi who was still shaking and we took off. I called the vet from the road, redialing until they answered (they weren't open yet), told them what happened, called B. and explained what happened and where we were going, and drove as fast as I dared. Pippi was obviously in shock, her eyes were glassy and she was just laying on E looking scared so I grabbed her blanket from the back, covered her with it (poor E with a hot bloody dog and now a blanket on his lap), and drove faster. When we got to the vet, I got Pippi, E got my pocket book and we ran in and delivered her to the doctor who wisely asked someone to take me to the waiting room while they started to check her out. I walked into the lobby and burst into tears again. I gave E the keys and told him he could wait in the car and listen to music if he'd rather, which he did.

I proceeded to call my mom and my boss and then text everyone I had on my phone who I thought would care. After about 20 minutes, Jamie the vet tech came out and told me that she was stable and Dr. Paul was checking her over. After about 45 minutes they had completed the orthopedic and trauma exam and while the nurses drew blood and put and IV in, Dr. Paul (love Dr. Paul, he is my hero), took me in a room and explained what he had done (examined her manually for breaks, u/s of her belly for blood, rectal exam to check for broken pelvis, etc), what her primary obvious injuries were (a few deep cuts, road rash, shock) and what they were going to do to (x-rays of her chest, legs, and pelvis) and what his major concerns were (pneumothorax, broken pelvis, internal injuries). He recommended that I go home (rather than sit in the waiting room and cry while healthy animals and their owners were coming in and out) which I did. I tried to work while I waited for a call.

Dr. Paul called around 10:30am and said that her chest x-ray was clear for pneumothroax and broken ribs, which was good. He said she was on IV fluids for the shock, had received a nice dose of doggie-morphine, and was stable. Her blood work was normal except for a liver level which suggested her liver had gotten bounced around. He thought that was consistent with the brusie and cut on her side. They were going to let her rest for a few hours before doing the rest of the x-rays. He said he would do them around 1pm and would call thereafter.

I worked on filing and cleaning out e-mails, kept people updated on the dog, and at 11:10 went up to see K at lunch to make sure she was okay and give her an update on Pippi. She was already eating in the cafeteria when I came in and she was happy to see me since I had run off and left her standing there this AM with a shouted, "stay there and don't move!" to her over my shoulder. I assumed that she was aware of what had happened b/c she had followed me when I first took off and we were a short sprint from the road when I told her to wait for me on the sidewalk. I assumed he had heard the yelling and my initial wail, which was quite dramatic, or that the police chief had told her what had happened and why HE was taking her to school and not mommy and Pippi. I assumed wrong.

All she knew was that the dog had run off and I had chased her. So, idiot me, when she asked "how's Pippi," I told her the truth - that Pippi was hurt, but the vet was taking good care of her and we would know more this afternoon. Her bottom lip started to wobble and her eyes got wide and she asked cautiously why Pippi was at the vet. I saw the error of my ways immediately but I had backed myself into a corner and now saw no choice but to follow through. So I told her that Pippi had been hit by a car but she was going to be okay. Tears ensued. I started looking around for someone to hand me the "great mom award" while I hugged her and told her that Pippi was going to be fine. I apologized for upsetting her, got her to stop crying and switch focus from Pippi to telling all her friends about Pippi, and left in disgrace. I was ready at that point to curl up in a ball and cry - first I let my dog get loose, then I leave my human kid to chase my dog, then my dog gets hit my a car, then I upset my human kid at school who didn't KNOW that the dog had been hit my the car. All around great mothering day for me. Plus I kept replaying the whole thing in my head and hearing Pippi's horrible cries over and over again.

I gave the vet until almost 2 before I called for an update. I spoke to a nurse who said she was still stable but they had another emergency and hadn't done the x-rays yet. I knew they were leaving the office at 3pm, so when 3 came and went without a call, I began to get (more) anxious. Somewhere in there my mom came to get K to slend the night with them. I tried to call the vet again about 4:15 but of course there was no answer because they were all gone for the day! Dr. Paul called about 5 minutes later though and apologized for not calling sooner. He had finally gotten to do the x-rays and they were all clear - somehow she had come out with no broken bones. They had cleaned and treated her wounds, some of which were completely necrotic and might need surgical debridement, and rescanned her belly. Unfortuantely, this time there was a small bit of free blood in her belly - suggesting that bump to her liver had caused a small bleed. He wanted her to be watched overnight which meant transferring her to Metropolitan in Audobon. He asked for about 30 minutes lead time to get her ready and to call Metro. B walked in the door from work and I gave him just enough time to change his clothes. We got to the vet about 5:15 and Dr. Paul came out and gave us all the instructions and info to take to Metro, plus an IV bag. Jamie the vet tech brought Pippi out sporting her cone of shame and she was a drugged and hurting version of her usual waggy self. We made a bed for her on the floor in the back seat and I sat back there with her - first on the seat, then on the floor with her - while I petted her ears and tried to look at her wounds. She was obviously unfortable but had had another dose of doggie-morphine plus some valium and slept like the dead most of the trip.

On the way to Metro

Rear leg. The black stuff is on the top and the bottom.

A good view of her rear leg and her chest.

Good drugs.

We found Metro, B parked and carried her in while I held the doors. They were expecting us so a nurse came out right away, talked to B while I filled out paperwork, and then took Pippi to the back. We were there for almost 2 hours waiting while they examined her and dealt with the other emergencies coming in. Nearly half of that wait was in an exam room with both doors closed. The rear door had been open until I was caught looking around the hallway. After that we were shut in tight with no books or magezines and one chair. Apparently back stage at Metro is as secret as back stage at Disney. Finally, the doc came in and told us that all was well with the Pip Monster. She repeated the u/s and couldn't observe any active bleeding. Her blood pressure was good, her heart and lungs sounded good. She recommended admitting her to keep an eye on her, repeating her blood work in the morning and then rechecking her with the hopes to send her home.

The doc offered to let us say goodbye to her, so we were escorted back stage, located her in a kennel, and bent down to say goodbye. The vet offered to open the door so we could pet her and as soon as she did, Pippi was off and running (well, trotting was all she could manage and even that was adrenaline fueled). The nurse chased her out into the hallway where a very disoriented Pippi gave up and laid down. They brought her back, we gave her a kiss, and headed out.

Both B. and I were so hungry that we were close to gnawing on our own arms, so we stopped at a sandwich place by church, ordered subs, went to church to check on set up for the fund raiser the next day, and then wolfed down our sandwiches while driving home. I think we had finished before we went a mile. We were both slilghtly delirious.

Saturday morning I got up super early and left for church for the fund raiser that I was running while B headed to my parents to help build a roof on their deck. The vet called around 8 and said Pippi had a great night and was doing well. The vet called again at noon and said that her blood work looked great and we could come and get her and take her home whenever we wanted to. I wasn’t able to leave church until 4pm but brought a very happy puppy, wearing the cone of shame, home with me. She tried to sit on my lap for the first part of the trip and then settled on her comforter in the back and went to sleep while I petted her ears and periodically made sure she was still breathing.

When we got home I was able to take a good look at her wounds. In addition to her bumped liver, she had major road rash on her right front and left rear (not sure how that worked) and a couple of impressive wounds on her back left foot and front right foot and her chest and armpit. We think the car clipped her back foot and sent her sprawling and the bulk of her injuries were from the impact with the road. A lot of the scraped skin was necrotic and nasty but after about 6 days, the black yuck had fallen off almost all of the wounds. She slept a whole lot for the first 3 days but by Wednesday night was interesting in playing. Thursday, there was virtually no stopping her as she rediscovered her energy. The cone of shame stayed on until most of the black stuff came off (Thursday) and K and I took her back to the vet on Friday. Everyone there was so happy to see us, well, to see Pippi anyway, and Dr. Paul (did I mention he's my hero?) was quite excited. Dr. Paul looked at her wounds, expressed a little lingering concern about some of the deeper ones, gave us another 10 days of antibiotic, and sent us on our way.

As I left, I pronouced that I hope I wouldn't see any of them again until fall when the cats need their check-ups and left with a very happy dog. Two minutes later I was back to retrieve my car keys which I had left on the counter. Oops. Time flies.

Since then she has continued to heal, her hair is starting to grow back, and she is back to 100% crazy-puppy mode. She has also managed to infect both of our neighbors' labbies and my parents' dog with kennel cough. Apparently, Typhoid Pippi brought home some kennel cough from Metro and shared it with everyone around her. She had a few days of really mild cough that we didn't ID as kennel cough until everyone around us started turning up with it. Pippi was already on antibiotic though so the infection never blossomed in her the way it did with the others. So now her 3 doggie friends are on antibiotics and have to be kept in quarantine, but Pippi is once again cough free. Oops. Again.

Today I am Grateful

2011-06-13T12:43:00.000-04:00

...for two fabulous reunions this weekend.

On Saturday we journied to my uncle's house in NY for the Thompson family reunion. All three Thompson sisters' off-spring, the Wrights, the Lymens, and the Jones, were well represented.

Nanny and Aunt Gloria

We through in a member of my grandfather's family as well, just for fun. My aunt and uncle graciously opened their home and yard and fed us all a ton of yummy food while we milled about chit chatting and listening to/telling stories. K was beside herself with joy to spend an entire day (well, a couple of good hours anyway) with her "twin cousin," Tori, who is 9 or 10 days older than her, and her "big cousin" Sadie who is 11 and as tall as me already. She was also very excited to meet her two Korean cousins, Douglas, and Ben, until she realized that they were boys and older than her. Douglas is 14, almost 15, but Ben is only 11 and thus should have been in the same category as Sadie, but...like I said, he's a boy. We did corral them to get a couple of pictures though.

Ben, Kara, and Douglas

The girl cousins ran around playing together and even decided a swim was a good idea (it was maybe 70 and overcast and a little windy) and generally had a wonderful time.

Best buddies!

Silly girls!

"Riding" Cousin Daniel's ATV

Brrrrr!

Both girls have agreed to be pen pals which will bring the cousin/pen-pall total to 3. I loved writing to my cousins when I was her age, so this is cool to watch! I admit, I am terrible at keeping family straight. My mom's cousins all look alike, and it took me a while to be able to sort out who was who. I am universally horrid with remembering whose name goes with whose face though so no one should be offended! My Aunt Tuni had put together a montage of old photos and we all sat and watched it together - there were pictures back from when my grand-parents were babies all the way up to the current crop of little ones. Of course, there were large chunks of the family missing - the Texas, Alaska, and Florida contingents couldn't make it and one local cousin was stuck in shore traffic - but everyone else was there!

On Sunday we went to a picnic for our FCC group. The official group is disbanding so they used the money left in the bank account from dues and whatnot to pay for the caterer and pool passes at Green Valley. K had a great time running around with her friends and eating as much picnic food as she could carry. We were thunderstormed out about 3:30 though so we headed home.

K, K, and S

We capped off the day with VBS at West Lawn Methodist Church which is where we take Korean lessons. K did not want to go but when we picked her up she did not want to leave! It was a late night for her with 4 more to come this week, but it was worth it!

Need to vent

2011-06-09T15:30:00.000-04:00

I try to be nice, I really do. I try to be available and a good friend and whatever and not get offended when I play host to K's friends and it has never been reciprocated by certain families (not even one time in the last 4 years). I try not mind when certain kids (or their parents) don't even say thank you for hosting play dates, meetings, etc. I do this because 1) I care about the kids with whom my daughter is friends and 2) I want our home to be a friendly and safe place to be as K gets older and I want the kids to trust me and B and look at us as a resource should they need to talk or whatever. So... I put the occasional annoyance aside and just keep having play dates and consider it a special bonus when someone actually calls and asks K to come over.

But...today just takes the cake. Today, 20 minutes after a friend arrived, K came to me in tears. Said friend refused to leave the bedroom because of the dog. Said friend was also crying and would not listen to my pledge that the puppy (who was sleeping on the floor by the door with her cone on her head) would not hurt her. I gave her the option of calling her parents and she opted to do that rather than leave the bedroom at all during the following 5 hours before we can go to the pool. As it turns out, after waiting 2 hours for a pick up she decided that she would just stay.

I really and truly draw the line at putting my dog - that would be the puppy who is still recuperating from getting hit by a car; the same puppy who has a cone on her head and would not deliberately hurt anyone - out in 105 degree heat so that a kid who doesn't know how to act around a dog (and won't listen when I try to tell her) won't be afraid for now reason. I can't do it. I can't be that nice. I'm sorry. I was working and E was paiting and could not just ride herd over the (sleeping) dog all day.

And yes, I feel a little guilty for a variety of reasons, but I just can't do it.

She eventually came out of the room and they went outside.

The part that makes me feel guilty is that this will, I'm afraid, be the last time said friend and K play together unless it is at the pool. As I mentioned, K has never been invited over to this person's house one single time in 4 years of friendship (and yes, other children have been invited over, in case you are wondering.) and that is not likely to change. I'm not getting rid of my dog. She is a part of my family and this is her house too.

I am old.

2011-05-26T07:28:00.000-04:00

I am old.

I am so old that I can no longer remember what it is I wanted to do when I was young. I know for sure it isn’t this. I NEVER lay awake at night dreaming about becoming an overpaid government wonk. I never fantasized about spend my work life doing absolutely nothing of value, adding nothing to the world, and becoming part of the overinflated bureaucracy that I kind-of despise.

Yet here I am, 14.5 years and counting. 19.1 years until I retire.

As I mentioned, next month it will have been 20 years since I graduated from high school. Twenty years ago I should have been an idealistic, pie-in-the-sky dreamer; filled with grand plans of what I would study and what I would do after college…only I wasn’t. I was depressed, terrified, essentially paralyzed by anxiety and totally unsure of what I would do when I finally hit the real world. Through classic over-achieving, perfectionist efforts, I finished tied for second in my class. Had I been voted most likely to do anything at the time though, it probably would have been “most likely to have a nervous break-down,” not most likely to succeed (THAT went to the current doctor and physicist).

I was still totally directionless when I transferred from PSU to SJU, although I at least was able to randomly pick a major at that point– Criminal Justice. I LOVED my major. I loved studying criminology and sociology, even though it was so unbelievably liberal as a discipline. I loved being in class and learning theories on the causes of crimes, doing well on tests and papers, and getting to know my professors. I didn’t really like the rest of college all that much. I had a few really good friends in my major, but my suitemates and roommates and I mostly tolerated each other until my senior year when I actually got along well with my roomy and liked the people I lived with. Like high school, in college I was always a little weird – I went to bed early, got up early, avoided parties and drinking, and went home to work on essentially every weekend, etc. But I digress. Back to high school.

Many of my HS classmates knew exactly what they wanted to do when they got out of high school. They had plans to become doctors, physicists, accountants, police officers, teachers, etc. And many of them did exactly what they planned. * I* on the other hand went through college hoping it would never end, planning to be some sort of a police or probation officer or later, as I continued my overachieving ways, maybe teach college. I had an opportunity to go to two different local programs to get my PhD…for free…but for reasons I won’t get into here (see my post on the fruitlessness of regrets), I elected instead to just stop with my Masters and get into the work world doing…something.

The story of how I ended up in the government is fairly typical of first jobs. DOL was the first, best offer I got and I took it. I did get one other offer as a customer service representative for about $22K a year in a place that required women to wear skirts because the boss liked it that way. I politely declined that one. When the call came for DOL, I jumped on it. Never mind that I had no idea what I would be doing, it was a job that would start 2 weeks after classes ended, provide good health benefits, reasonable days off, and a steady pay check for the next 4 years at least.

And so, on December 23, 2006, I was sworn in as a Federal employee. After Christmas, I caught the flu – the first and last time I actually had influenza. Having no sick leave accumulated, I was forced to go to work every day – drinking tea, holding my head up on my hand, and praying for the 8 hours to go by quickly so I could go home. I didn’t yet have a computer and was essentially sharing an old school teacher’s desk with other new employees while we waited for furniture and tried to read manuals about workers’ comp and stay awake through the holidays.

Eventually I felt better, got to know my job and my co-workers, and threw myself into the job. I became known as the terminator – ruthlessly cutting off people’s compensation benefits (following all due process procedures of course) where there was waste, fraud, and abuse evident. After a little over a year I was hired permanently and began to realize that if I didn’t get out of there soon, I would be stuck forever, working with the bleeding-heart 50 year old career government employee who still lived with his mom and thought working 2 cases a month was plenty, the whack-job 20-something woman who married some guy she met on the train and would regularly scream at people on the phone, and the woman who was RIF’ed from her other job, re-placed at DOL, and was just killing time until retirement. There were some high points – my mentor was great, my friend from grad school, Karen, joined me briefly, I could work flex time and bank up to three extra days off at a time - but, I knew I had to get out. Where though? I still had no direction, it was more a matter of who was hiring than what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I turned down one offer to DOJ that involved a TON of travel and then took the next one that came along – with my current agency as a paralegal. Never mind that I had ZERO training as a paralegal and had no idea what a paralegal actually did. They hired me under the outstanding scholars program, didn’t care that I had no experience, and were ready to match my pay so I jumped ship in October 1998. After about 6 months as a paralegal, I knew THAT was definitely not where I wanted to be, and started looking internally and externally for another position. I applied to the FBI and made it through to the 3^rd round of applications before the opportunity to move to an investigative position here came and I jumped ship yet again in November 1999. And here I sit, 11.5 years later; in the same position I was in when I was 26; at the same desk I’ve been at for 10 years.

Now I have to wonder, with my 20 year reunion coming up, is THIS where I want to be? I admit that at times I feel a little inferior. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a physicist or a chemist. I’m not a world traveling PR person. I’m not doing anything particularly worthwhile like teaching or speech pathology. I don’t have my own music album and I haven’t written any books (we have 2 published authors). I don’t make any sort of difference in the world with my job and I’m not going to impress anyone with the fact that I am a federal investigator for the most liberal, over-reaching organization in the government. And I start to feel stuck, and doubt myself, and wonder whether I’m going to even bother going to the reunion at all.

I forget that at things like reunions (and on facebook) we don’t know anything besides the shiny, happy story that people WANT us to know. I don’t know about the struggles and sadness that might lay beyond that beautiful family portrait - about the financial troubles, the struggle to have children, the depression, anxiety, divorce, and illness that people might deal with behind the scenes that make their lives a little less perfect than they seem. And they don’t know about mine.

I also have been sharing stories lately with a couple of women with whom I graduated 20 years ago, but who I didn’t really know at all until recently. I’ve heard about their less-than-wonderful HS experiences and how their post-high school interactions with some people have been an awful lot like my post-high school interactions with some of the same people, and I feel a WHOLE lot more positive about my own life, career stuckiness notwithstanding. I have a good job that pays the bills and lets us put aside a little extra; a supportive, loving husband, a beautiful; a smart, compassionate little girl; a solid, well built house in a good neighborhood with super neighbors; 10 Brownies who I love to death; enriching volunteer opportunities at church and in the community; friends and family; and a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. No matter how unsettled I may feel, I take a lot of comfort in knowing that *I* at least am not just a fatter, older, meaner version of the person I was in high school. I feel sorry for the people who are (fatter, older, meaner, etc.) and can't wait until my reunion so B and I can make fun of them. :)

CariP=blog slacker. Blogger = SUCKS!

2011-05-24T07:53:00.000-04:00

I can no longer get onto Blogger from home, so I'm uploading this from work. This is from last week....

I’ve written a ton of posts in my head but haven’t made the time to translate them to paper in ages. Not that anyone reads it anyway… Blogger didn’t help by being down all week either.

B and I took K to Washington, DC last weekend and it was the BEST thing we have done in ages. I won’t lie – my anxiety level was ramped up before the trip with subconscious worrying about the leaving the puppy with E for 2 days, what we would eat, when we would pack, how early we would have to leave, etc. I was very unorganized – waiting until the night before to pack for the 3 of us and to make a list for E. I didn’t even bother to come up with a sight-seeing plan until the day before. We decided to have a general plan and just play things by ear based on the weather and how we were feeling.

We got up at 4:45am. B made egg sandwiches for breakfast while I walked the dog and hopped in the shower. We got K up at 5:45 and left the house at 6am. Traffic wasn’t bad, but the GPS took us on kind of a windy road to get to the hotel in Rockville. By the time we were almost there, K had gotten car sick twice. We pulled into the parking lot of the Legacy in Rockville, Md at about 9:00am and K and I walked in to let them know we were here and to find out where to park for the day until we could check in.

To our shock, they had a room ready for us and 5 minutes later we were checked in and moving the car to the parking garage. We dropped our bags in the room, put our fruit and water in the mini-fridge, used the bathroom, and hit the road to hoof it to the train station. The train station was only about 2.5 blocks away and we had just enough time to get 3 fare cards and get to the platform for the inbound train. The train ride was about 15 minutes and we walked another 6 blocks to the zoo from the metro. Waiting at the zoo was the best part of the trip – our friends TH and BH and their children, A (9), R (5), and L(2). A and K were in pre-school together and have gotten together a couple of times a year since then. Much to our dismay, the H’s moved from Limerick to Virginia this fall for BH’s job. When we decided on the date of our trip, I contacted TH and asked if she wanted to try and get together. They ended up taking the girls out of school and BH took the day off of work to meet us at the zoo. We didn’t tell K about it and without her glasses on she was almost on top of A before she realized who it was. Much hugging and squealing ensued with A and R and K and after a few minutes, we began our tour of the zoo. It took us the better part of 4 hours to go through what, surprisingly, was a really nice zoo. Granted, we took our time and there was a break for lunch, a couple of potty breaks, and lots of meandering, but over all if was much nicer than Philly’s zoo. The highlight, of course, was the giant pandas exhibit.

Rumor has it that Mei Xiang might be expecting a little panda love child so a trip back to the zoo next fall will definitely be in order.

We saw Mei Xiang first – stuffing her little face with bamboo (eating for 2?) and later saw Tian Tian…also stuffing his face with bamboo. They are very cute and such neat creatures. It makes me sad that they are in such danger. Besides the Pandas we saw all manner of birds, large rodent things, a lazy bear, reptiles, otters, meer cats, tigers, and 7 baby lion cubs who were the cutest things ever and reminded me of Pippi for some reason.

After the zoo, we bid farewell to the H’s and made plans to get together on our way to or from vacation this summer. Even though we only actually saw them a couple of times a year, we miss them and wish they were still in Limerick. We walked back to the train, with K already complaining about her sore feet, and took the metro to Metro Center. Because the weather was nice, we decided to do as much of the outdoor stuff as we could and walked to the Washington Monument then down to the WWII memorial, what used to be the reflecting pool, the Korean and Vietnam War Memorials and the Lincoln Memorial. K would perk up at the memorials and then go back into whine mode in between. In yet another example of bad-mommy-moments, I in turn got very frustrated with the whining and was less than sympathetic to her foot pain, forgetting that she is only 8, had gotten up really early, and done a TON of walking already on her short little legs. My mean-ness (and B’s – can’t leave him out) in turn caused great wracking sobs and hiccupping breaths all the long walk back to Metro Center to catch our train. We decided to call it an early night and go back to the hotel and get a pizza and rest our feet. K took a bath while B fetched dinner. After a little snuggling, K and I were both asleep at about 7:45. I may have been asleep first actually.

The next morning, after 10.5 hours of blissful sleep, we set out, by car, for Arlington. As I had forgotten to pack spoons to eat our instant oatmeal for breakfast, we stopped at the local Giant and got bagels and cream cheese and coffee at the nearby Starbucks. It took a while to get to Arlington, but after we parked and took a quick peak at the gift shop, we headed for the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. K was very awed by the number of graves and asked tons of questions about the markers, who was buried there, what happened to them, etc. We caught the tail end of a wreath ceremony at the Tomb which was great for K to see. We stood and watched the guard for a bit in the pouring rain, and then wandered to the amphitheater, the USS Maine memorial, the Kennedy tombs and then walked over to the Marine Corps Memorial. There were a zillion bus trips there and I took to walking with my umbrella sticking out in front of me to, literally, beat the teenagers and Norwegian tourists out of the way. Two way path, folks. Move the heck over. After about 2 hours we headed into back over the bridge and into the city, parking under the Ronald Reagan building (home of some of EPA’s offices) a short walk from the American History museum. K loves the machines and the stuff to look at, touch, move around, etc. She lost some interest when we got to the war exhibits, but loved the first lady’s dresses! We took a break mid-way through the museum to walk up and get some lunch at the food court. Unfortunately a large tour group had the same idea so we ended up at a Quiznos in the EPA court yard. We finished the American History museum at 3 and walked over to the Air and Space Museum which was MOBBED. We were all so tired at this point that we kind-of zipped through the museum in about an hour and headed back to the car. When we finally got out of DC and past Baltimore we stopped for dinner – K picked McDonalds – and we were home shortly before 8pm, exhausted and happy.

The next day my dear friend MZ’s son, K, received his first communion and K and I went to church and to the brunch afterwards. It was so nice to see him hit such a big milestone. The mass was nice, the brunch was scrumptious and it was just a pleasant day. After the brunch we ran home, changed, got things organized for linner (no normal meals for us on Sundays!) and then headed up to Central with my friend SO for one last walk through before they close the doors. That was a little weird and left me feeling kind of melancholy and a bit dazed. Not many moments from HS are among my fondest memories, but it is still so sad to think of the school just being gone in a few months. We graduated 20 years ago. 20 years!?!?! And besides being way older in fact than I feel or act in practice, if graduation was 20 years ago so was the death of SO’s mom from breast cancer. Mrs. O. died the day before graduation and was buried on my 18^th birthday. I could literally feel SO’s hurt and remember how sad it was when Mrs. O. died. I love my mom so much and am so glad to have her in my life as an adult…I can’t imagine losing her now let alone when I was not yet 18.

The prospect of my 20^th reunion is a post for another time because otherwise this will be about 30 pages long.

Besides the anxiety about the trip to DC, I was also a bit anxious about a doctor’s appointment I had this week. It was just my “annual” but the timing was fortuitous b/c a couple of weeks ago I discovered a rather large “mass” in my left breast. I assumed it was yet another cyst because of the size and placement of it and didn’t panic too much, but part of me was worried b/c it was HUGE and that side had been achy and sore for a little while. As it turns out, all lumps, bumps, and whatnot are entirely normal (for me) and nothing to cause concern at this time. So, I’ll keep checking, and I’ll keep finding them, and one of these times I’ll stop worrying about it. While I was waiting for my appointment, I took the time to observe the other people in the waiting room. There were a few couples there for their initial consultations for infertility, a woman who was there to be inseminated and who was literally FREAKING out because she had been waiting an hour. The technician had to come out and explain to her that 1) they don’t thaw the stuff until you show up for your appointment 2) there’s a process to washing and preparing it for transfer, and 3) the timing was fine and she wasn’t going to miss her narrow window of opportunity. I could not see if she had a wedding ring or not and wasn’t sure whether she was totally on her own or just using donor sperm and her hubby was not there. Eventually she sat down and chilled. Also in the waiting room was an adorable little toe-haired toddler girl and her mom who was there, I’m assuming, to be inseminated in a try for number 2. The child’s other parent , dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt tucked in, and a wide black belt, joined them and I was marveling over how young and nice looking the couple was. Then I heard his sweet, high voice talking to the baby and upon looking realized that the “father” didn’t have an adams apple. And he was a little curvy in places that maybe he shouldn’t have been. And come to think of it, what man wears a wide black belt low on his hips? Sweet heaven above was I confused. They were gone when I came out so I never figured out what they were there for. The little one was adorable though.

In the department of too much information…2 weeks ago I was sitting at swim practice on a Saturday afternoon and a couple of other moms were there and started chatting about books. The one mom really likes romances – the more explicit (i.e., smutty) the better – and was asking for recommendations. Another mom said something along the lines of, “they say that women who like these books have better sex lives.” The first mom’s response? “I don’t really like sex.” Ummmm…thanks for sharing?? I just kept my nose buried in the latest in the Amish romance series I am reading and hoped they didn’t ask me for recommendations.

My love seat, like just about everything else in my house, is now a lovely shade of chocolate brown. The couch will be following suit early next week just as soon as the slip cover arrives. Since Pippi has taken it upon herself to rip the stuffing out of the back of the love seat and the arm of the couch, we are left with little alternative but to cover them with…something. These aren’t too bad, actually. They are stretch to fit and a nice soft material. Of course, a dog who shed white and red fur and a soft brown couch aren’t the best mix, but we’ll deal until we win the lottery and can afford new furniture and/or she stops being a puppy.

Run, Pippi, Run!

2011-05-12T14:02:00.000-04:00

Why are all of my animals trying to escape? Pippi thinks it is great fun to dash out the front door at every opportunity and take off down the street. She inevitably ends up streaking down the backyards on our block with one (or three) of us in hot pursuit. To her it’s a wonderful game – chasing the birds, the bunnies, dandelion dust, her shadow. To me…it is a heart stopping, fear riddled, stress-fest wondering if we will get her before she gets hit by a car and, heck, what about next time she gets out?

Anyway, we’re working on that with her.

I started training the other night – we worked on sit (mastered!), down (new to her!), and stay (only when she feels like it!). She actually did a great job learning down and then staying until I called her, considering it was the first time we had worked on it. Of course, 30 minutes later she had forgotten what down meant and had to be shown. I imagine that with some consistent effort and a whole lot of kibble in my pocket, she will get this stuff eventually. I hope.

She is doing marginally better on the biting – only going crazy once in a while. But when she goes into psycho-Pippi mode, look out. My arms are pretty bruised from the other day when she got me while we were playing ball outside. B on the other hand is firmly established as the alpha dog in the pack. Pippi cowers and shows her belly when he gets mad at her. Mommy? Chew toy.

Pippi was introduced to a new animal this morning - a skunk. Luckily, the skunk didn't meet Pippi up close. We saw it crossing the road and heading up the hill to the upper part of the a-field. We waited as it waddled up, looked around, and then hit the track for its morning work out. Once it was out of sight, I let Pippi move and she immediately found the yard the skunk had come from and sucked in as much skunky goodness as she could before I dragged her away.

Pippi has now entered the realm of Kocoa's antics by eating the back of the love seat. This poor couch has been through it - first Sam the dog ripped the back and B had to sew it up. Very attractive. Now Pippi ATE the back. It is covered with a blanket to hide the damage until we get a slip cover. Someday we'll get new furniture. Someday.

~~Our slave labor~~ E has arrived home safely. He has not yet found a job (interview at Red Robin though so stay tuned?) so he is working for his dad and we are acutally paying him this summer. It isn't going to be much money, but should work out to about minimum wage when it is all said and done. This week he has been painting the deck. For some inexplicable reason B bought a deck stain that was supposed to be cedar and is actually orange. Lovely. His next major project is to paint and repair the fense (NOT orange). That will actually take a couple of weeks, I think. That, plus vacuuming, weeding, mowing the grass, and pet sitting should fill up his time.

We are headed to DC tomorrow, so E will get his first pet sitting assignment. Heaven help the poor dog. We are leaving at the crack of dawn and heading to the zoo first then to see the monuments and the white house and then, if there is time, to the American History museum. B wants to see Arlington and the Marine Corps memorial (of course!) so who knows what we will have time for. It is a very unstructured weekend we have planned. Whatever we get to see, we get to see and when we feel like heading for home on Saturday, we will. We've been stashing cash away from B's pay check each week to cover the hotel and food so, we are very excited! Once this weekend is over we will be back to saving for the shore.

K got her nantz appliance installed today. 3 appointments and $1,000 later we enter Phase 1 of her orthodontic treatment. Luckily, her teeth are pretty good. She doesn't have space on the top for her 1 molar so the Nantz is supposed to hold things steady for 3-4 years to allow her baby teeth to fall out. Then we'll go with braces. I don't expect it is going to be overly involved at that point, but it will still cost a pretty penny. Part of B's check each week goes into the envelope for braces now too. In 3 years, we ought to have a good chunk of what we need up front!

I had my mid-year evaluation with my boss and it was...weird. She didn't have much to say. I'm all over the place with work lately. I feel like my job is constantly changing because my boss is so overwhelmed she can't remember what she asked/told me before. I love her as a person, but sometimes she is a little too scatter-brained and I want to throttle her. But, overall she is a good and capable boss and I appreciate everything she tries to accomplish and everything she does for her people, like me. She did tell everyone that awards would be (gasp!) performance based so only the most wonderful accomplishments will earn one. In essence, rather than everyone getting $300-$500 as a "bonus" (which is about $.59 after taxes), she gave out a couple of big awards to people who are high performers. Last year I got an award which is HUGE in my agency but still teeny tiny in the real world. People are bitching about how giving only a few awards leads to favortism and only the most visible and vocal will get awards, etc. In otherwords...they haven't done anything special and won't be getting one that thats. not. fair. Dang it. If I get one like I got last year we are going to get new carpet for the living room. All of the stains I carefully scrubbed away are back. I don't think it ever had stain resistant stuff on it. That's what we get for getting the cheapest carpet we could from Home Depot because we had 3 days and they could do it before we moved in. So, we shall see. I should know this summer some time.

Our award ceremony is the same day we are going to NYC to the American Girl store so I will miss that. Those awards the spread around, so if you won one once (say that 3 times fast) you'll never win another. I've won one already so I won't be missing anything!

i know I have a ton I wanted to write about, but I am out of time and can't remember, so I'll have to come back to it later! Peace.

My new favorite chicken recipe

2011-05-01T18:58:00.000-04:00

From Family Circle

"Fried" Crispy Chicken

Ingredients:
4 cups rice cereal, lightly crushed
3/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
2 TBSP olive oil
1 TBSP Penzy's southwest seasoning (or any combination of seasonings you like)
1 cup plain lowfat yogurt
8 6-oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Preparation:
Heat oven to 350
In a shallow bowl, combine cereal, cheese, spice, oil, plus salt and pepper to taste.
Brush both sides of chicken breast with yogurt, splat in the cereal, smoosh around, flip, smoosh again
Place in baking dish
Repeat with other chicken breasts.
Add extra cruchies to chicken in the pan if there is any left.
Bake until cooked through (about 30-40 minutes, depending on the thickness of the breasts).

I made it with 5 breasts and reduced the cereal to 3 cups and the cheese to 1/2 and it worked just fine. It took about 45 minutes to bake b/c they were cold and fairly thick on the ends.

It was FABULOUSLY YUMMY!

We served it with some broccoli and french fries.

New School

2011-04-28T15:32:00.000-04:00

K visited her new school today. THAT was a fun note to write to school. We made it as vague as possible and just said she would be spending the day at another school. I got no response so they will probably mark her down as unexcused. Whatever.

K was VERY nervous this morning and I am very nervous now. So many things to worry about -

What should she wear? Khaki pants and her brown and green fancy shirt with black flats and stockings.

Why she can't wear nail polish? because they don't let you wear make up or nail polish.

Do they let you wear your hair up? Yes.

What if they have gym today? I'm sure Sister would have told me so I don't think they have gym (As it turns out they DID have gym today and all the kids were in their shorts and t-shirts and sneakers. I had to run home and get her sneaks and socks for her).

We got up there at 8:30am and when I asked if I could stay for a little while, Sister just stared at me. "Or," i said, "I could just hit the road?" She smiled then (sort of...) and offered to let me walk up to the classroom with her.

We took K up and delivered her to the guidance lady who took her into the classroom and introduced her. She sat with two girls named Caroline and Katelyn.

Her verdict when I picked her up? " I LOVE it here, Mommy!" She had so much fun in her class and meeting new friends, they had reading, and religion, and science, and social studies, and gym, and she got to work on a biography and use a netbook. She was bubbling over and had written down all her new friend's names and her schedule.

We went and looked at the uniform exchange and got one summer uniform for next year. I'll buy the gym uniform new because those looked fairly ratty in her size and I hope that I can pick up a jumper or two from someone and buy her one or two new ones. Plus socks, and shoes, and blouses! Geez!

I just wish that she was going there starting next week rather than next year!

2011-04-27T20:52:00.000-04:00

The cat came back…he couldn’t stay away. The cat came back, the very next day.

Kitty ran away this week. I came home from…somewhere (piano?) and the back door was standing open. Pippi was using it as her personal doggie door, in and out at her leisure. Poor B had come home from work sick as a dog and lay on the couch sleeping all day in a fevered stupor. Pippi was outside when I left and must have jumped against the door until it slid open and she could let herself in. Unfortunately, we think, Kitty decided to go exploring out the open door, or perhaps Pippi chased him out. Either way, Mommy came home and closed and locked the door, not knowing that poor Kitty was out there somewhere. I thought it was curious that he didn’t come to eat when I fed them that night, but figured he was hiding and would come when Pippi was in her crate.

The next morning, I got up and went into the bathroom to get dressed and I heard Kitty meowing. It was quieter than his usual wail but I assumed he was downstairs because the bedroom door was closed. When he didn’t appear to eat though, I looked in and under everything in the house to see where he was trapped. He was nowhere to be found in the house and I realized that open door + soft, sad meow = Kitty on deck. I had walked the dog and let her into the back yard at that point so the next 45 minutes of frantic searching was useless. Black cat in the dark…huh, it’s a wonder we couldn’t find him.

After some angst and debate, B, who was staying home sick from work, agreed to look for him. We put some food on the back porch and B went back to bed. Shortly after 6:00am, Puss was standing by the back door wailing pathetically and B spied Kitty on the deck. He opened the door and Kitty took off again, to parts unknown. B spent the day alternately walking the neighborhood, researching “lost indoor cat” on Google, and sleeping. I left work early, armed with 50 copies of a missing cat flier to hang. After dropping K off at dance class, B hung up a bunch of fliers while I walked around shaking the food bowl and saying, “here, kitty, kitty, kitty” over and over again like some sort of mentally ill homeless person. We gave up after about 45 minutes ,but after dinner K and I handed out fliers to every house on our street and around the block and told people about 15 times that, yes, we know there is a black cat that hangs out down the block, but that is NOT our black cat.

K was beside herself last night – upset tummy, tears, etc. Of course I was right there with her mentally playing the “what if he doesn’t come home” game but I mommied-up and reassured her that of COURSE he would be home, he is just hiding until it is dark because of all the noise and people around. We prayed for him to come home and I put her to bed. B and I made a bed on the floor in the living room so we could leave the back door open and, hopefully, hear him if he came to the porch to eat. I tried to ignore the stupid episode of Glee that B was watching and go to sleep but it took a while. I had just dosed off around 9pm when B shook me and whispered, “I think there is something eating the food!” I crawled to the door, calling to Kitty soothingly as I went, determined that it was indeed Kitty eating on the porch, and slowly opened the screen door. He just waltzed in and meowed at me for food while I picked him up and hugged him. Once I determined that he was fine, I told him I would freaking STRANGLE his scrawny cat neck if he ever pulled a stunt like that again and got him some more dinner. We also dug some old, probably expired, flea and tick stuff out and put that on him just in case.

All is well in Kitty world again.

K was very ,VERY happy to see him this morning and told him that he is not allowed to run away again. Pippi was also very, VERY happy to see him and kept trying to inhale and/or taste his fur while he hissed and spit at her. I feel like a new person this morning. I am exhausted b/c it took me a while to fall back to sleep after Kitty came home, but my attitude and outlook is so much better. I tried really hard to believe that he would come home on his own, but I was so scared that he was just gone.

I just found out that my office is going to be moved next fall. GSA renewed our lease with this building and as part of it, the building has to repaint, clean, etc. for us. So, floor by floor we are moving into “swing space” and then will be moved to our cleaned, refreshed offices. My Branch was supposed to come right back to our same spot, which means that we would stay in the same offices without having to “rebid” for them based on seniority. Some whiney baby in my Branch must have complained because now we are not moving back to our same space but to the others side of the floor which is alleged to be sunnier. I currently have a window office next to my buddy Harry, next to whom I have sat for 12 years. Harry has LOTs of seniority and will be guaranteed a window whereas I will be number 12 to pick and am virtually guaranteed an interior, non-windowed office and will no longer be sitting with Harry. As someone who just LOVES change, you can imagine how much I am looking forward to this. I need someone to retire. Or maybe a note from my doctor saying I need light and must sit by a window? Blech!

Easter redux.

2011-04-25T18:15:00.000-04:00

I'm glad to report that Kitty is feeling much better. After a couple of barfing incidents, we thought perhaps he had a hairball and put some vaseline on his paws. Unlike Mika, or Sam the Cat who would have freaked the heck out and either flicked the vaseline all over the walls or immediately licked it off, Kitty just sat there and then jumped up on the bed to sleep with me. He now has the softest paws on the block. We tried again the next night and either he licked it off and it helped or something else, but regardless, he vomited up some easter grass the next day and has been his happy, hungry self ever since.

Puss is all done with his narcotics and is no longer peeing blood. We still have 8 days of antibiotic though. There is nothing quite like stuffing a pill down a cat's throat.

Althought the cats are much improved, the pig is dead. Long live the pig. Even though I wished the pig would JUST DIE ALREADY on a semi-regular basis (usually when Pippi was baying at it while I tried to work and the cage stank like rotting garbage), I admit that I didn't actually want her to die. We knew she was a goner Saturday morning b/c she just hid in her house and didn't squeak at all, even though she was out of water. By late afternoon she was unable to walk and gasping for breath and I told K to say goodbye to her. She was dead about a 30 minutes later. She is in a shoebox and plastic bag in the garage awaiting her final resting place. We are now trying to sell the cage and accessories and will give them away if necessary. Next up? A turtle and/or hermit crab.

I lost about 10 years off my life yesterday when Pippi got out at my mom and dad's house. She took off like a bat out of hell chasing birds and headed towards the highway. I lost sight of her and I was convinced that she was going to get hit and killed. I started to hyperventilate when I realized that she had doubled back and was now almost back to my parent's yard. She saw me turn around and came streaking back towards me...running loops and dashing hither and yon. Finally B arrived with a chunk of ham and the little witch ran right to him and sat down. Never mind your semi-hysterical mommy - run right to the dad/ham.

We had a lovely Easter, though a bit hectic. K slept at Grand-mom's Hotel and Restaurant Friday night so B and I could go to church. It was the traditional Good Friday service - led by the teenagers. Though they tried - it didn't work and the turnout was very low and consisted of mostly parents and grandparents of the kids in participating. I hope they go back to normal next year. Saturday we had a fairly relaxing day. We met my parents and K for breakfast and then headed home for a day of cleaning and baking. K had a friend over for the day which let me get everything done that needed to be done and to actually sit down and read for an hour in the afternoon. B was at church all afternoon and evening getting ready for Easter. K and I walked her friend home at 5pm and then colored eggs and got dinner ready and watched the end of Wall-e.

Sunday we got up way before dawn so I could walk the dog and get ready for church. B stayed in bed for the extra 40 minutes. We dragged K up at 6:10 and hit the road at 6:30. From there chaos ensued. Frantic practice, 7:30 worship, quick recharge, 9:00am worship, rapid change and sound check, 10:30 worship. I had the honor/misfortune (depending on your perspective) to play at both the 7:30 and 9:00 services and to lead the 10:30 service in the fellowship hall. There were about 100 people at 7:30, 414 people at 9am, but only about 10 at 10:30. It was ridiculous and a colossal waste of time and energy (IMO). There was a concurrent traditional service at 10:45 and I'm not sure how many attended it, but it had to have been more than 10. Luckily the sermon was excellent and I didn't mind listening to it 3 times.

The day itself turned out gorgeous - none of the rain the had called for - and after we got home about 12:30, I took some pictures and we changed clothes and got lunch ready. B hid eggs outside and after lunch K set about trying to find them.

A short walk with Pippi, a 10 minute nap on the couch, and off to mom and dad's for another (better) egg hunt, the great Pippi escape, and dinner. K and I had made a three layer cake - each layer a different color - with butter cream icing and coconut flakes and jelly beans on top. It was pretty and yummy and I'm not ashamed that it came out of a box. We had also baked honey oatmeal bread which was so good - the best bread I have ever made! Usually my bread is dry, but this is really a nice texture.

We made it home by 6:30 and got everything unloaded and the kid ready for bed. B had to get up this morning at 2:30 am so we all hit the sack early. Unfortunately he is not feeling well and has picked up some kind of stomach bug.

K has two big events this week - a day at her new school and her first visit to the orthodontist! I am working at home both days and taking leave to take her to both things.

This morning while K and I were walking Pippi around the neighborhood K was spinning me tales - first about the house she hopes to live in (10 bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, etc), and then about the house in her fantasy world - where she is one of 5 identical quintuplets abandoned at birth by her birth mother. In her fantasy world, I am her step mother (?) but a nice one who married her father and takes good care of them. She has a private tutor in her fantasy room and only pre-approved children are allowed to come over and play. Some of her criteria for visitors - they have to be able to recite the pledge of allegiance and sing the national anthem! That's my girl. I added my own rule - they have to know how to behave with dogs and can't cower in fear from a 30 pound puppy who wants to play with them.

The Iowa eagles are getting big and look more eagle like now. The other day I was on a conference call with work and checked the live feed just as one of the babies bent over and squirted a stream of poop right at the camera. I almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

Cat Diaries, Part 3

2011-04-20T13:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

Kocoa has gone away and I don’t know where he is or why he left. One day Mommy and THAT MAN took him in the car and he never came back. Mommy was very sad when she left and she tried to get me out from under the couch for some reason…but I was scared and wouldn’t come out. Now Kocoa is gone and I am all alone with just my idiot brother and that yappy, jumpy, hoppy thing they call Pippi. She smells like Kocoa used to – like a dog - but rather than cuddle with me, she gets in my face and barks or grabs me by the back of neck and drags me around the floor. Mommy says she is trying to play with me, but I don’t want to play. I want my Kocoa. I miss him so much and I am sad a lot.

Now it hurts to go potty and Mommy took me to the scary vet place. When Mommy and THAT MAN found blood on the floor and on the piano bench, I pretended that it was my dimwit brother who made the mess. Kitty was so worried about me that he stopped eating and hid in the closet, so it was easy to convince Mommy that it was Kitty having pee-problems again. She stuck Kitty in the crate and I thought I was home free, but then THAT MAN lifted up the couch and Mommy grabbed me too – “just in case.”

So I had to go, crammed in the crate with dimwit wailing like he was dying the whole time. When we got there, a nice lady with gentle hands named Dr. Colleen looked at us and told Kitty – KITTY! – how pretty he was. Hrmph. Everyone knows that *I* am the pretty one. Then they took Kitty out the door left me alone to hide with Mommy and my sissy. When they came back, Kitty embarrassed us all and peed all over himself and the table and I pretended I didn’t know him. It was disgusting. Before I could think about it though they grabbed me and took me out the door. If they did to poor Kitty what they tried to do to me, I can understand why he wet himself. It was awful! They squeezed and squeezed on my little bladder, but I refused to pee – it just hurts too much!

When I was back with Mommy, I jumped on the floor and, oh, I had to go SO BAD! All that squeezing and the fear - I just couldn’t hold it. I’m sorry to say that I started to cry and then I just couldn’t hold it anymore and I too wet myself. Only my pee was bright red. Sissy was so excited about that for some reason and she ran and called the doctor while Mommy picked me up and made baby sounds to me. The doctor was very pleased about this too and said something about a mystery being solved.

Mommy let me go back in the crate then and shoved dimwit in after me and then we went home. Now every time I see Mommy she sits on me and gives me a little pill that tastes AWFUL. But…she also gives me a wonderful liquid that makes me feel SO GOOD! It makes peeing so much better and makes me feel like I am floating on soft pillows all the time.

I heard Mommy tell THAT MAN that I am “stressed out” because Kocoa is gone and from all the changes in my life and I need to be kept calm. I’m not sure what that means but the Pippi thing hasn’t been bothering me so much. Maybe they gave her some of that wonderful liquid too?

Until next time,

Puss

Something smells funky

2011-04-17T12:02:00.000-04:00

Has Spring finally sprung? After the storm yesterday and last night, I'm afraid Spring might have actually blown away! We got about 2 inches of rain in a couple of hours. That, plus the blustery winds and the fact that it was cold and generally miserable was enough to make me cancel the outing for the Brownies. I am, I admit, a terrible leader when it comes to all things camping. It's not that I mind the sleeping out in tents thing...its the entertaining and taking care of other people's children for hours and days WHILE sleeping out in tents that gets me. Never mind the fact that it is the week before Easter and because one of us works for a church and has to be at church Friday, Saturday, and all day Sunday and the other of us got suckered into leading one of the four worship services next week and had already committed to singing at two of the other ones... Never mind the fact that the people planning this weekend of camping joy left my troop with 3.5 hours of "free time" at the start of the day. Free time that I had to plan and fill. Never mind the fact that I am frigging exhausted from my "new" work schedule and the "new" dog walking schedule. Getting up at 3:20 may only be an extra 30 minutes of sleep lost per day, but the extra hour of work and the extra miles of walking are combining to sap my energy and my joy this past week. I know I'll get used to it. But in the mean time, the thought of spending 12 hours in the driving rain with the Brownies made me want to run screaming into the night. So, I was looking for pretty much ANY excuse not to go and the weather gave me what I needed.

I felt a bit guilty when I woke up and it wasn't raining. And 10 am rolled around and it STILL wasn't raining. Luckily the storm moved in shortly after that and I felt vindicated.   Not going to the camp ground for the day gave me the opportunity to help K clean her room - I should have done before and after pictures because - boy! what a difference. It also gave me the opportunity to take K and her friend to the Walk with Jesus and Easter Egg Hunt, and gave me the chance to make cookies for E who is stuck at school for Easter, and to wash. fold, and put away approximately 18 loads of laundry. And vacuum. And sit on the couch and watch survivor man while ruminating on how frigging tired I am.

Being so tired has me in a bit of a funk today.

Even though I was ready for bed at 3pm, I stayed up until 10:30 watching Glenn Beck's comedy tour from Albany. We subscribe to his website and they were streaming it live so B and I sat in my office and watched it on my computer while Pippi sat downstairs on the couch watching the science channel. I love Glenn Beck. He, and Pat and Stu make me laugh out loud - every day. He is no longer carried on any Philly radio station so I download the podcasts every day and listen to him a day later while I work. The only bad thing about listening to Glenn is that I am now convinced more than ever that we are entering End Times. The crap in the middle east and the scary stuff coming out of Washington...it's frightening.   I know it is ridiculous to be worried about the end of the world, and admitting this probably puts me in the category of the whackos who insist the world will end on May 21 of this year...but it scares the breath out of me. I guess when you are not fully convinced that you are going to heaven after it all ends, it makes the end a little less exciting.

K is now spending even less time each week actually learning anything. Her school has a "learn to swim" program for 3rd graders. Once a week for the next 6 weeks her class gets on a bus, drives to Aquabilities, where they are supposed to learn how to swim and water safety. K is in the "highest" group which does...5 half laps. Total. In 45 minutes. K is bored silly. "They treat us like babies, mommy. It's boring!" After that waste of time, they take the bus back to school, eat lunch, have recess, and then go back to classes where, as you know, her teacher more often than not finds an excuse not to bother teaching anything. We could have denied permission for her to participate since she already knows how to swim, but then she would have just stayed behind coloring or something instead. Plus, who can deny her teacher that much needed and well earned break each week? I mean, really...

My parents are down in sunny FL visiting my sister and her family and the dog is here losing weight trying to stay away from Pippi. He does NOT appreciate getting up at 3:20 to walk in the AM, but is able to go back to sleep for the rest of the day to recover! K and my niece L are writing letters back and forth now - pen pals - which is nice to see.   L just celebrated her 12th birthday, which I can't believe. She has had a rough winter with health problems caused by a concussion and we have all been worried about her.

Speaking of worried, I recently learned that two of my Brownies' are living in an abusive home.  Right now THEY aren't being abused - they are just watching their mom get pushed around by her boy friend.   The one girl mentioned it to K at school the other day and K was horrified by it. I knew before K mentioned anything from another mom and from some of the things the mom in question has said about her boy friend's behavior (controlling, suspicious, nutso). I told K that all we can do for them right now is pray. I feel terrible for those kids having to watch that kind of thing and for the mom who obviously believes that she should tolerate it. K now has instructions that if she ever hears that the girl or her sister are being hurt in any way, to run immediately to her teacher and tell her and then to tell me and I would call the police. I wish there was something besides praying that I can do...but right now there's not.

Black and Blue

2011-04-11T18:56:00.000-04:00

What's black and blue and red all over? My legs! Ha ha!

Between Pippi, my allergies, and my own clutziness this weekend, I am a total mess. My two favorties are the big bruise on my butt cheek from trying to squeeze past someone and whacking my tush on the door knob at church; the brusie on my side from when psycho-dog launched herself at me and in trying to grab my sweatshirt, grabbed my side; and, ooo, I really love the back of my thighs which are all marked up from scratching my itchy-allergy skin.

B has my cold and is feeling yucky but, counter to his Y-chromosome driven genetic predispsition to whine and lay on the couch, has been persevering admirably. He put up the new fence around the garden - designed solely to keep Pippi OUT of the garden. She of course "helped" him all day and was so worn out by bed time that she curled up in about 6 inches of space next to me on the couch and wouldn't move. B had to carry her outside.

I'll admit it was nice to have a job to wake up to this morning. Bring employed by the Federal government is really hard for me as a fiscal and social conservative. I am torn...on the one hand, I WANT the government to shut down if it means leverage to pass a drastically cut budget (love Paul Ryan's proposed 2012 budget - read more about the rationale for it, here). On the other...a shut down would mean that I would be laid-off for the first time in my career. As a tax payer, I do not want the fedeal employees to get paid for the time they are furloughed but on the other hand...it would be mighty nice to have that pay check! On Friday they had an "all-hands" meeting and gave out what was basically no new information. They did, however, direct everyone to report on Monday regardless of status as "excepted" or "furloughed." Would we get paid for those 4 mandatory hours to "shut down" or work space and receive our furlough notice? Not guaranteed, no. Ummm...guess what, folks. You can't MAKE me come in for no pay. I am not commuting 4 hours to stand there for 4 hours to shut down my already shut down computer and have someone hand me a piece of paper saying I am laid-off. So, mark me down as AWOL and call me when we have a budget. Luckily (?) they agreed to a 1 week extension. So....now we can go through the whole exercise again this week.

We saved my philly tax refund to cover any furlough time so all bills will be paid on time and in full, I'm not worried about that. But...this whole process is annoying. PASS A FRIGGING BUDGET ALREADY!!!

This weekend K and I baked a big batch of whole wheat banana blueberry muffins. Unfortunately, I forgot to add baking soda to the batter until half of the muffins were baked. Doh! They are essentially blueberry hockey pucks but taste pretty good, if a little chewey. When they are warmed with a little butter, they remind me of the TastyKakes Toast'r Cakes. We added some baking soda to the batter for the rest and those were light and fluffy and lovely looking. This week I've got to get some cookie baked for the prodigal college-student who will not be able to come home for Easter.

Friday while I was ~~reading baking blogs while~~ ~~stressing about the pending furlough~~ working Pippi was laying on the couch being "good." Or so I thought. I went downstair at one point to heat up my coffee and this is what I found.

I knew it was too quiet.

Over the weekend I cleaned out the freezers and consolidated from 3 to 2. Yes, I have 3 freezers. At B's insistence, we still have the nasty old refrigerator that the prior owners left here in the garage. I argue that we do not need it and he argues that we do. Trust me, we can learn to live without it. Right now it has some beer and his live bait that has been in there for YEARS and can't possibly be live any longer. I vote for getting rid of the damn thing. Anyway...that freezer is empty and everything that was in it is either in the chest freezer, in the kitchen, or was cooked this weekend! One of the wonderful things I discovered in my cleaning/consolidation was a container of Christmas cookies! Yes! Because what I really need is more sugar! I managed to taste test one of each though to make sure they weren't too freezer burned. They weren't.

We are finally happy with our PSU tickets for next year. As "displaced" ticket holders, we got to pick our new seats first-ish. We could not, no matter what we did, stay in the North Endzone and ended up over in the former senior's section (EB) as high as we could go. Great - full on sun all year and a crap view of the game. We were not happy with our selection and opted to go into the Spring raffle for new seats. Our day was originally March 31, but was moved to April 4 because of server problems. We forgot. By the time we remembered it was Tuesday evening and B quick logged on and got us seats...in the North Endzone, one section over from where we've sat all these years and about 15 rows lower in the 1st non-visitor row available. Hopefully the visitor section will be empty as it almost always is and we can just march back up to the top row from wence we were displaced. So, we are happy.

For My Eyes Only

2011-04-04T14:42:00.000-04:00

A few months ago I decided that I needed to do something about my dull and haggard looking skin and the dark circles under my eyes. So...I bought some day/night eye cream and some night-time face treatment stuff from Avon that is supposed to speed cell turn over. And now, after using it for a few months...I look...haggard and dull with slightly less dark circles under my eyes. I especially love when I put the eye cream on after a swim - the effect of the dark circles with the red goggle indentations...its fabulous.

The other day, while I worked, B finished the steps to the attic. He put the wood in to close them in and then stapled the carpet. Unfortunately, Pippi was terrified of the entire process and spent the afternoon - on my lap, hiding from her dad - no easy feat for her since she is quite big now.

Other things Pippi has been afraid of lately -

A wagon filled with fishing gear blocking her path at the lake this weekend.

Horses - until she realized they were animals and she could bay at them, which she did.

And my personal favorite:

A tree.

Never mind that she has the word "tree" in her breed name. She encountered a scary tree in her path the other day next to the a-field and tucked her tail and ran away from it. Grrrr.

2011-04-04T13:16:00.000-04:00

My mom sent me a link to an eagle's nest in Iowa. Needless to say, it was much more interesting to keep checking the eagle to see what he/she was doing that to edit a 60 page document today! I finally got to see the two hatched babies eat their lunch a little before noon. Then mom/dad decided the babies had had enough delicious rodent and sat back down on the downie little fluff balls and the last egg.

B and I had a lovely weekend - all alone! Just us...and the dog. K went and spent the weekend at G-mom's and G-dad's for which we are eternally and unbelievably grateful. We had been planning to go to State College for the weekend, but the idea of taking the puppy, in cold/yucky weather, and having to stress about her barking and peeing in the apartment...not so relaxing. Plus, I had/have a nasty cold and a head full of chunky green stuff. Instead of driving 2.5 hours, we stayed home and did things around here. On Friday after work, I took K to G-mom's and G-dad's, with the promise of a weekend of G-mom's cooking. All week, that's all I heard. G-mom makes the BEST pancakes! G-mom makes the BEST eggs! Hello? What the heck are we? Chopped liver? She was excited, that's for certain. I dropped her off and headed home where B had made us a lovely dinner of Tilapia, rice, and broccoli. We ate, walked Pippi, and headed for our evening out at the Reading Comedy Outlet. We got there early and were seated right up by the stage. As it turns out there were only about 20 people there so we needn't have worried. The host was...unbelievably lame. The first comic was...not that funny. The second comic was annoyed that the crowd sucked so badly but was actually pretty funny. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. I felt REALLY bad for the two guys having to play to such a sparse and lame crowd. But...I couldn't laugh when they weren't funny! We were home by 10:30 - real party animals that we are.

Saturday we slept in a bit, made some coffee and tried to decide what to do for the day. We ended up heading down to Shady Maple for breakfast (holy cow...I LOVE Shady Maple). It was fun people watching (don't people realize they can go back to the trough as many times as they want? They don't have to take ALL the bacon at once?). We walked down to the farmer's market and did our grocery shopping for the week, picked up some bird seed at Goods and then headed home. We dropped the groceries off and took Pippi for a hike around Antietam lake. It was lovely. Home again, nap for all three of us on the couch, walmart and the library (party animals), pizze for dinner, and basketball in front of a roaring fire. Sunday we went to Community Evangelical Church which was...different. Very un-churchy. We didn't care for it at all, but the band was good!

K was delivered after her weekend of eating, shopping, and playing on the computer, around 11am. We had an early lunch and B and K went back to Antietam Lake for a few hours of fishing (no luck), while Pippi and I hiked again. Poor dog was so tired I had to carry her the last block or so. She just couldn't make it!

Of course, after our nice relaxing, un-stressful weekend, the combo of Pippi and K being home about sent me over the edge. Luckily I was feeling much better and my head was significantly less congested. Of course, as soon as I got K to bed, I started to cough and continued to cough all night long and into today. Nothing helped. I finally got up and went down to the couch where I was able to catch a couple of hours of sleep under 4 blankets with the cat.

I hate Mondays.

Things Pippi has gotten into this weekend:

8 vanilla pudding chocolate chip cookies - she mananged to knock the container of cookies I was baking for church onto the floor without us hearing her and consum 8 of them. We only knew she had them when she came out to the living room with 3 in her mouth to play with. I saved half the cookies and had to check (or eat) the rest. B had to run out and get me more chips and pudding to bake a second batch.

A loaf of bread. Luckily she didn't eat it, only smashed it. She got 1 piece off the counter though and ate that.

B's grill brush.

The tin can under the grill.

K's jump rope.

Some sort of pitcher thing that B had out at the grill.

A large brown tarp under the deck. Twice.

K's hula hoop.

K's hairbrush.

B's sneaker.

B's slipper.

My slipper.

A highlighter.

K's slipper.

My purse (she chewer through the strap of my ONLY leather purse. Witch).

Her leash.

K's new webkins Monkey - Lavender.

The american cheese bag and corner of the cheese stack on the way home from Shady Maple (we took her in the crate with the idea of going right to Nolde Forest to hike.)

The mop.

To say she is a menace is an understatement. But then she'll curl up with her head on my lap and sigh and close her eyes and go to sleep and I melt all over the couch and forgive her for all her wrong doings. Happiness is a warm puppy and all that.

Wild Kingdom, Pennside Style

2011-03-27T06:29:00.000-04:00

Is it Spring? Or Winter? I wish the weather would make up its mind. Looking out the window, I see grass turning green, trees budding, daffodils starting to bloom and the sun shining. Then I walk outside and it is 34 degrees. Huh? Surely it is going to warm up soon? Of course the start of Spring also means, apparently, the start of migraine season for me. Usually they don't start getting bad/frequent until the humidity picks up, but so far this year...not so good. I really need to do something about it, I guess.

Part of the return of Spring has been the return of critters - each of whom holds a special facination for Pippi. Bird? Squirrel? Or, heaven help us, bunny? She stops, stares, and then tries to take off like a shot after whatever poor creature is in her sights. She hasn't quite grasped the concept of a 3 foot long leash though and ends up choking herself in her foiled pursuit. She got really close to a bunny a week or so ago and now every time we pass the house where it was, she tries to take off into the yard...just in case.

Speaking of wild things...Thursday evening K and I came outside to head to the library before dinner. I couldn't figure out why there were feathers, literally EVERYWHERE in my driveway. Looking around I spied a very large and strange looking bird hunched over in my neighbord's flower bed. Looking closer, and startling what turned out to be a hungry hawk pecking apart a dove, I allowed the poor captive mourning dove to flop free and take shelter...directly under my car. The hawk went up in the tree to watch and I backed out of the driveway - leaving him/her to his/her business. B watched from the garage but the hawk was too shy to come back and put the dove out of its misery. By the time we came back, it had flopped into the street and the hawk was gone. The dove stayed in the street - half dead, but not quite, until morning when it was fully dead and provided a lovely feast for the crows who proceeded to pick it apart for the rest of the day. Yum. By the time school was over, all that was left was part of a wing sticking up in the street. That too was gone about an hour later. K was horrified. Pippi was jealous.

I had my first compressed day on Friday and I started the say by sleeping in until...6:15! That's right, you read it correctly. I slept until 6:15! of course Pippi had to go out so when she came back in we turned on College Game Day while she played/cuddled on the bed and we watched the highlights of Kentucky beating Ohio State! It is ALWAYS a good day when OSU loses. The rest of my day off consisted of cleaning - the carpets (the stuff we got to clean up the "pet stains" left "pet stain cleaner stains"), the finger fronts and grime off the doors and door jams, the windows and sills, the kitchen, the bathroom, and general straightening up. I also managed to fit in 2 walks with Pippi, lunch with K at school, grocery shopping, and a workout that has left my arms so sore I still have trouble lifting them over my head, 3 days later. The afternoon was spent chopping vegetables and getting things ready for dinner with friends.

Saturday we had Korean school and then I finished where I had left off on Friday - getting all the windows and doors ready for Spring. The house has never looked better...which, as anyone who has been here will agree, isn't saying a whole heck of a lot. The carpets sure do look better though - at least I am not ashamed to have people come over anymore. K had a friend over and B went to the rifle range so I decided to take some time for myself and stayed home from church which they went. I took Pippi for a walk, soaked my feet and filed off my callouses, laid on the couch and finished a book while the basketball games were on, and had dinner when I was hungry. They were home by 6:30 and life returned to normal.

Speaking of normal...the PSSA's are over and now they can resume teaching my child the basics - how to strive for mediuocrity because some kids just aren't as smart and gosh, it's just not fair; how to avoid doing anything but the minimum because some kids don't have anyone to help them do more and, goash, it's just not fair; and why its important for everyone to feel good about themselves, because some kids just aren't as talented and, gosh, it's just not fair! Did I mention how much I am looking forward to next year?

The Wooden Puppy

2011-03-21T18:10:00.000-04:00

Today while I was walking Pippi at lunch time, we headed up the road where the wooden puppy used to live. A few blocks away from us live three yappy jack russel terriors with their own fenced enclosure. In front of the fence was a black wooden lab-looking puppy. Kocoa used to LOVE walking up that street. Every time we would walk him he'd head that way and a couple of houses from the fence, before anyone could see it, his hackles would go up and he would start to woof. As soon as he could see the fence, he could start to crab hop sideways barking up a storm at the wooden puppy. I'm not sure if he couldn't SEE it well and he could smell the yappy things and just assumed the wooden puppy was REAL? The funny thing was that even after the wooden puppy was gone, Kocoa would still hop and bark with his hackles up...just in case.

Pippi could care less as long as she's out walking and no rogue trash cans block her path.

Her new facination is with birds. The other day we took K to the field to ride her bike and we took Pippi, 2 days away from getting spayed, with us for some fresh air. I walked her around the field a couple of times and then sat down to wait for B and K to get there with the bike. Pippi sat down and whined at the 50 robins all over the field. When B got close enough, Pippi started to whine at him and I let her go thinking she would run right to him. She ran right by him and dashed hither and yon across the field after every bird she could find while B ran uselessly behind her. He finally caught up to her about 5 minutes later after all of the birds had been scared away and she stopped to sniff. Since then, every bird in the neighborhood has held her attention and made her lunge and whine trying to get to it. Huh? Are Beagles bird dogs?

I am amazed at how quickly her belly has healed. She missed a step on Thursday, but by Friday was pretty much back to normal. By Saturday she was her crazy self - tearing around the yard and having several puppy freakouts in addition to a nice walk in the AM. Sunday, she played with her uncle Gizmo for a while and in her zeal, managed to pop a couple of the external stiches. We were convinced she would have to go and get restiched today b/c it looked pretty red and raw, but by this AM it was scabbed over and closed again. Nut job. I took her for two shorter walks today and she spent the rest of the day on the couch (or stealing things like K's hair brush while I tried to work).

Yesterday we went shopping in the attic for spring and summer clothes - there were still a bunch of size 8s up there but after next year, we will have to actually shop in STORES for her wardrobe. K wanted to try on everything and then wear the things that are still a year or two too big in size because they are pretty. She also informed my mom that I need to wear black leggings, a black and white zebra tunic top, and get my hair highlighted blue and pink. Huh?

2011-03-18T12:38:00.001-04:00

I think Puss has finally realized that his Kocoa is not coming back. He was walking around today meowing and even came and meowed at me and let me pet him. He stayed in my office wandering aimlessly and looking out the window for about an hour - which is toally un-Puss-like. Poor Puss.

My nice mommy bought me my Chess in Concert CD. She's a JG fan too so we will copy it for her.

Easy Tomato Soup

2011-03-18T09:46:00.000-04:00

This has become one of my favorite recipes (and K loves it and actually asks for seconds).

2 cans whole tomatoes (low salt, if available);
2 cups chicken broth
2 cloves garlic, smooshed.
1/2 onion, finely chopped
basil, salt and pepper to taste

Chop the tomatoes in a food processor, add all ingredients to crock pot. Set on low for about 8 hours and then enjoy. Serve with a little shredded cheddar or some parmesan cheese and some crusty bread.

2011-03-18T07:28:00.000-04:00

"Do not stick your fingers up your nose tonight."

Oh, the things you need to tell an 8 year old.

She has been "stuffy" and unable to accomplish anything by blowing her nose, she's resorted to digging around in there trying to clear it out...which makes her already persnickety, bleed prone sniffer bleed more often. So, I guess we'll do the nightly reminder until she breaks that habit. I tried to explain that making it scabby and sore only makes it MORE stuffy, but I'm not sure she got that.

Pippi was reasonably calm yesterday - she laid on the couch and then in a sunbeam on the floor and then on the deck. And then K got home from school and she went crazy. She was running, and jumping, and trying to eat my arm...and then she ran of energy and went back to sleep until this morning.

So far she is leaving her belly alone and we've been able to keep the cone off. She tried licking it a couple of times this AM so I am going to have to watch her more closely today to make sure she doesn't rip her stiches. NO one wants to put that cone back on her. She has a bald spot on her forehad by her eye from that first night and B and I are still recovering from the lack of sleep (and crying - ours, not hers).

I went for a run yesterday at lunch time - I made it 25 minutes before I had to stop and walk b/c of my knees. Not too bad considering its been almost a year since I ran. It was nice to be out in the sunshine though! Today the plan is to open up all the windows and try and get the smoke smell out of the house - even my pillow case smelled smokey last night. I have a strawberry candle heating up and hopefully that, some febreze, and the fresh air will do the trick.

What a Way to Start the Day

2011-03-16T20:14:00.000-04:00

I slept in to almost 7am this morning...an hour after I was supposed to start work. 2.5 hours after I was supposed to get up and go swim. Oh, I got up when the alarm went off at 4:20. When I got up to turn off the alarm, I discovered that neither Pippi nor B were in bed. I treked downstairs and discovered them lying on the couch together. Poor B couldn't take the whining and flopping from a cone-wearing crated Pippi and got up to aly with her on the couch where he could keep her from licking her incision. As I had also been awake much of the night, I told him to bring her upstairs and we'd lay with her on the bed between us. She loved it. She snuggled against me and went to sleep. So did I. And I dreamed about some sort of deranged version of disney world where we had gone with the Wertz/Zambito clan but that's a post for another day. And when I woke up it was 6:56 and I was WAY late for work. One of the nice things about working from home though is that I can role out of bed and fall into my office and just start minus the long commute and the having to actually bathe or make myself presentable.

So, I made K some breakfast, through her blood covered comforter in the wash (nose bleed last night to add to the fun) and turned the grease covered oven on to clean (B made dinner last night - it was a major mess). I went up to my office, logged onto the network, and told my boss I was "on the clock for the day and would work late to make up for the lateness." Twenty minutes later, the entire house was filling with smoke, all the smoke alarms were going off and K and I were gagging and coughing and trying desparately to get windows open and fans on and the oven off before we all died. Apparently we'll have to hand clean the oven this time. I was losing the battle with the smoke so I called for B to get his a$$ out of bed and come help me, which he did - terrified Pippi in his arms. She went out on the porch while we opened up all the windows in the house and put fans in the dining room to blow some of the smoke outside.

40 minutes later I was finally sitting down to work again.

The oven has finally cooled enough to open and look at the damage (no flames, just LOTS of smoke) and the smoke has stopped pouring out. At some point today we might be able to close the windows and turn off the fan (and put the batteries back in the smoke detectors).

The Money Pit

2011-03-16T14:36:00.000-04:00

When Kocoa was a baby puppy he took a special liking to one of my stuffed animals – a giant, gray yarn- hair covered…thing with a long tail. A rat? A raccoon? A possum? I’m not really sure, actually what it was. But he liked it and we put it in his crate for him to snuggle with while he was alone. For the longest time, B would come home at lunch time (from K of P to Limerick) to let him out and my neighbor would take him out a couple of other times, until he was fully potty trained. It didn’t take too long for him to be housebroken – he was a smart cookie – and as he got older he developed camel kidneys and would only go in the house if he was sick (twice in his entire life, I think). I’ll have to post a picture of him with the rat later. He ultimately ate the rat and we threw it out.

When Kocoa was about 5.5 months old ( the same as Pippi is now), he started having trouble getting up from the ground and he started refusing to take walks, which he had really liked before. We took him to the regular vet who took x-rays and pronounced him with severe hip dysplasia. Wait, what? We were referred to a specialist for a consultation. Given Kocoa’s age and the apparent severity of the dysplasia, the ortho vet recommended a triple pelvic osteotomy (TPO) – in both hips. In a TPO, the doctor saws through the pelvis in 3 places, tilts it to keep the head of the femur from dislocating, and puts metal plates/pins in to hold it in place. Horrifying. Other options included something a little less extreme that involved sawing off the head of the femur and would prevent anything further like a hip replacement if that became necessary. We could have also done nothing…which wasn’t really an option because he was a baby and in pain. So we scheduled him for surgery – mid July 1999.

When we picked him up from the vet’s office in Malvern a couple of days post-op, he looked like Frankenstein. He was shaved from the chest down and both hips were covered in jagged metal staples and nasty red and raw incisions. It was horrifying, but it was, apparently exactly what it was supposed to look like. And the vet’s office? Covered in slippery tile. What the heck? The nurses helped me put him in the backseat of our car (I think it was an Olds Cutlass at the time, again…what the heck?) and then I tried to drive home while holding him on the seat with my right arm to keep him from sliding off. (B was at work.) Kocoa was not a small dog although he wasn’t fully grown and holding him in place behind me AND staying on the road was no easy feat. I think it took over an hour and a half to get home because I kept stopping. I was terrified that he could fall off the seat and damage the plates. It was obvious he was in terrible pain but they didn’t send anything home for pain meds b/c they wanted him to stay quiet and masking the pain would make him more active. Somehow we made it home and I got him out of the car and into the house and into his “nest” in the living room which was his crate with the lid off, an orthopedic bed (the 1^st of many – he liked to chew them), some blankets, and the baby play yard gate we had purchased. He was only able to walk about 3 feet even if he was so inclined. For the 1^st week or so he was most definitely NOT inclined.

While he was at the vet, B and my neighbor had constructed a ramp for the back yard so we could get him out to go potty. The ramp was made from an old door and a piece of carpet remnant. To get him out to the “yard,” we had to help him up from his nest – which hurt him so very much – put a towel under his hips and then support him out the door and down the ramp. Then he had to find a way to squat and do his business – again, terrible pain for him. Then it was reposition the towel, hobble back up the ramp and into the house, and back into his nest. We took him back to the vet a couple of times for rechecks – again with the slippery floor, a curious and friendly puppy, and other dogs to visit…it was horribly stressful for me b/c I was so scared he would reinjure himself AT the vet’s office. His staples though…they were removed by the person who became our new vet – Dr. Joanne DeWire at Douglassville. Dr. D. and company babied him from the first moment and we were hooked. Over the years, Kocoa came to have a love/hate relationship with Dr. D. He loved her, and Missy, and Tammy, and everyone else there, but he HATED going there. For any reason. His idea of a visit to the vet involved walking in, wagging his tail and saying hi, and then immediately leaving. Anything beyond that caused him to shake and quiver in fear, shed hair like a maniac, and emit what came to be known as his “stressed doggie” odor. And in 12 years…he was at the vet A LOT. TPOs, torn ligament, cancer, cancer again, several fatty tumors, multiple and recurrent ear infections, a scratched cornea, and finally – cancer again. In his 12 years, Kocoa had 5 major surgeries – hips, knee, head, head again, neck – and dozens of x-rays, blood tests, ear swabs, etc. (There was a very good reason we called him the money pit!) And he never once bit, snapped, scratched, or growled at anyone, no matter how much pain he was in.

One thing Kocoa hated about the vet was the scale/table. He was terrified of the scale/table and it would take 4 of us to hold him there. More often than not, Dr. D. would end up examining him on the floor. Kocoa was also terrified of having his nails cut. B blames the vet in Limerick who cut his nail too short when he was a puppy – at his very 1^st visit to the vet – for all future vet and nail related traumas. For a long time we would try and sedate him every couple of months and then trim his nails back to a respectable level. Eventually he was able to resist even the sedatives so we just gave up. While he was still (comparatively) spry, walking him on the road would take care of the nail growth, but in the last 2+ years, as his arthritis has increased and his walks have decreased and ultimately ceased, he began to resemble Rip Van Winkle.

Over the last 3+ years, our always creaky Kocoa has really slowed down. I honestly never thought he’d live past 10, and then he made it to 11, then 12. Given all of his medical problems he was around so much longer than we – or anyone - expected. God truly blessed us in that regard.

When we got Kocoa he was our first baby. We did things in the popular order, get married, buy a house, get a dog…a practice baby…with the intention that, when we were ready in a couple of years, we would follow the dog up with an actual human baby. Only…that couple of years turned into nearly a decade before we finally gave up on that idea. Early on, while we were undergoing IF treatments and still not getting pregnant, my canine baby was very often the recipient of my tears. He’d lay there on the bed thumping his tail while I buried my face in his neck and cried. He never seemed to mind the tears and snot and would give me a gentle lick whenever I came up for air.

And when K finally arrived and we brought her home from the airport – there was Kocoa waiting for us. He wagged his tail at her, licked her feet, and sniffed her all over. From then on, she was HIS baby too. Especially once he discovered that she came pre-loaded with lots of tasty treats. Teething biscuits? Delicious for both dogs and babies. Right up until this week, Kocoa’s place during meals has been just to the side of K’s chair. Early on it was because she would drop/spill/slop food all over the place and Kocoa would race to lap it up off the floor, chair, and eventually the table. And now…same reasons, actually. The only difference is that when K was a baby, Kocoa would joyfully clean up her face and hands and occasionally steal food right out of her hands if it dangled in front of his nose. As she got older she didn’t let him lick her face clean anymore. Other than that…not too many differences. We never once had to worry about leaving K “alone” with the dog or be concerned that he would bite her or hurt her, even accidentally. She could pull his ears, his tail, stick her fingers in his eye, pry open his mouth, flop on his belly, whack him on the rump, and anything else she wanted to do to him and he would just thump his tail and take it. Sometimes he would look at one of us with a puzzled look on his face, but always the tail would be wagging.

One of my favorite things about Kocoa was how he would greet people at the door. He would be SO excited to see you – whether you were a member of his “pack,” a neighbor, a repair man, another parent, a kid, or a total random stranger at the door – he would great you at the door with a vigorously wagging tail and, as soon as he could manage it, a shoe in his mouth. Sometimes he had to shove his way outside to grab an old sneaker or flip flop from the porch, sometimes there would a shoe or slipper helpfully waiting for him by the door or in the living room. Sometimes he would try and take the shoe on your foot. No matter what, when, or who, he would happily meet you with a shoe and a happy puppy smile.

Good-bye old friend

2011-03-15T20:11:00.000-04:00

Kocoa passed away peacefully and quickly after a last snack of birthday cake (2 big pieces), plus a piece of pizza, and a piece of sausage AND 2 actual dog treats. He is so used to us taking things away from him that he scarfed the food down as quickly as possible while they shaved his back leg. The pizza was a lot of work for him - he tried to swallow it whole and ended up having to spit it back out and try again. It made me smile. No need to go looking for the loaf of bread on God's counter when he gets there - he can concentrate of chasing Mika and making friends with Hershey and Brinn and Daffy and finding a bed to sprawl out on for the night.

I of course cried all the way there but calmed down enough to walk in the door at which point I immediately started crying again. They had to put us right in a room so I wouldn't traumatize everyone else in the place (including a couple of kids there with their own dog). When it was time, we sat on the floor with Kocoa on a blanket. I held his head and told him how much we love him and K loves him and what a great doggie he is. And then he was gone and B and I both sat there sobbing like two big babies.

More stories tomorrow...B and I were trying to remember as many funny Kocoa stories as we could on the way home tonight - there are plenty. When we get his ashes back, we'll plan a memorial service and tell K all the funny Kocoa stories that she hasn't heard yet.

We know we did the right thing. It was time. But holy crap does this SUCK.

Picking a puppy.

2011-03-15T11:08:00.000-04:00

When we decided to get a dog (a lab of course) early in the new year in 1998, we located a local breeder who had a litter of chocolate labs and went to their farm in St. Peter's Village one day to look at the puppies. It was a fairly good size litter and there were a bunch of unclaimed 5 week old puppies available for us to look at. They had been born right before Christmas. The breeder had all of the puppies in a tiled room for us to check out and we were overwhelmed by the cuteness. How the heck can you possibly pick a puppy from all those fat little fuzzy sweetie pies? So we started looking for the characteristics the books told us to assess - Friendly but not too agressive? Check. Curious? Check. Not too shy? Check. I think we got it narrowed down to a couple of puppies. Now what? Then a puppy tried to climb up the one step in the room and couldn't quite make it despite a valient struggle. He fell back down - right into his water dish. Splash! There's our puppy! The breeder painted his toe nails with yellow nailpolish so we would know which pup was ours, we paid our fee, and headed out to wait the 3 weeks to pick him up.

His name? Kocoa Noel.

Tonight we will say good-bye to Kocoa. The lymphoma has finally won and the light has gone out of his eyes. We made the decision last night after he spent 24 hours on the bed with no interest in getting up and both agreed to call the vet. Our vet made some time for us tonight. It is so hard to know that he won't be coming home with us. No more waggy tails, no more Kocoa kisses, no more trash can surfing, no more cuddle partner for Puss, no more squashed toes and ankles in my bed. It is hard to be at work when all I want to do is go home and snuggle with him. I'm leaving early to do just that while K is dancing. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day - especially since we will return to the vet in the AM with Pippi to get her fixed.

There are plenty of wonderful Kocoa memories to share, so I might spend some time writing about those things over the coming days as I think of them.

2011-03-14T14:46:00.000-04:00

I have a new singing obsession...Kerry Ellis. I borrowed the "Chess: In Concert" DVD from the library and watched it on Saturday. Kerry Ellis played Svetlana and as soon as I saw her I KNEW I had seen her before. She was both Ellen in Miss Saigon and Elphaba in Wicked in London but only Elphaba on Broadway, so obviously I could only have seen her in Wicked. Or I might have imagined that I recognize her? That's possible too. She was also Fantine in Les Mis, but again...in London. Speaking of Wicked...did you know there is going to be a Wicked movie? Sweet! No casting yet, though rumors abound. I think Idina is too old to play Elphie in a movie, but we'll see, they can do wahtever they want with makeup and editting. Lea Michele would be super too. Or Kerry.

Anyway, back to Chess. I haven't listened to the music for Chess in close to 15 years. I had two tapes of the London recording from my freshman year in college, but...who has a tape player? I stupidly threw them out years ago. The Concert had the best of the best - Idina Menzel as Florence, Kerry Ellis as Svetlana, Josh Groben as Anatoly, and Adam Pascal as Freddie. It was AMAZING. Josh Groben...Idina Menzel..Adam Pascal. Holy Cow. You HAVE to listen to Josh sing Anthem on the BBC or listen to the concert version here. Chills. Shivers. I think I am in love. I was melting from all the good music. Listen to Kerry sing Someone Else's Story too. And Kerry and Idina singing I Know Him So Well. Chess is a fairly goofy show, as far as plot goes, but the music is fabulous - lots of big ballads and exciting songs. Its a true rock opera. B is going to try and rip the music track from the DVD for me using his secret magic video editing programs, else I am going to buy myself the CDs. I was first introduced to it in high school by my friend Cathy. She had the sheet music and we used to sing the duet together. I was Svetlana. I've loved the songs ever since. I just wish I had kept the sheet music!

I had the kind of swim this morning that made me feel like I could do anything! Lately I've been struggling to get to 1500 yards sans fins and can usually push myself to hit the mile but it is really hard. Today...I knocked out 2000 yards without even feeling overly fatigued. I did another 700 with fins and then kicked. If I hadn't been out of time, I would have kept going I felt so good. It's days like this that make me want to think about swimming masters. Or swimming this summer. Of course, now I'm ready to sleep.

Kocoa did not have a good night which means that mom and dad did not have a good night - lots of gagging and choking. He is still up on the bed sleeping. Pippi joined him after her walk to school and back and slept with him for a couple of hours before heading outside for some sun.

YMCA Districts was supposed to be this weekend - but they had to cancel it for the big kids because LaSalle's pool was crappy. CANCEL! Unheard of. They took they top 18 seeds to States automatically. Weird and unfortunate for the kids who were on the cusp and had been geared for a big swim at Districts. Then, even stranger, I got a message fro K's swim coach asking how I'd feel about them having a sychro clinic for kids at Boyertown this summer. I told her I thought that was cool and K would love to participate, and by the way, who will the instructor be? Her reply: I thought YOU (me) could do it. I spit rice all over myself. So now I'm going to be putting some basic skills thing together and trying to remember how to do...anything. I'll have to get a noseplug and start spending a few extra minutes a week after my swims to try and get back in shape!

Adjusting

2011-03-11T13:05:00.000-05:00

Holy chaos, batman. This week has been hard to deal with, for no good reason.

E is home on break. That's actually not the cause of the chaos for once, though I have to wonder why exactly he thinks ANYONE will hire him for the summer when he puts "9am to 5pm" as the hours he is available to work? Seriously? I'm not sure if he's just an idiot or if he thinks he is just THAT entitled.  B doesn't think it matters. I think I understand now why he hasn't found a job at school (other than the not looking thing, of course). I fully expect K to have a job before E ever does.

I've decided I'm going to change my own schedule - not to 9am to 5pm though. I am going to go on a compressed schedule, keeping my 2 days a week at home. Instead of ten 8 hour days, I will work eight 9 hour days, one 8 hour day, and have a day off each pay period. I am looking forward to THAT. I thought briefly about trying a four 10 hour day schedule with 2 of those days at home and a day off each week, but I would either have to get up at 2:45am or forgo my workouts. Either way - higher stress level, plus really long days = too tired to take advantage of the day off. So that idea was quickly discarded.

I actually yelled at my boss on Monday because I was so frustrated. She has a habit of not really listening and also interrupting, which together can be really annoying, especially when I am trying to get what I feel is an important point across. Of course, that frustration increased when I got to work the next day and discovered we have a new employee who, we later learned, will not be doing any actual case work, but will be available to "help" us do things like draft letters, etc. I've seen his writing skills and thank-you, I'll draft my own letters. Sometimes I just want to scream. Or quit. Or get a new job. But then I take a deep breath, dive into my to do list, and get over it.

On a happier note, Pippi has grown an inch since Sunday. She gets fixed next week, so that should be interesting. She is crazy in love with walks. I get the leash out and
I picked up my new glasses on Monday. I am still not sure my eyes have adjusted to them, but they are comfortable. Not a soul has noticed that they are new - not even my husband. Typical.   Now if we could just get K's new glasses in. Pippi ate hers 2 weekends ago - took great divets out of the lenses and mangled the frames. Luckily they are under warranty so we get 1 free replacement pair in the 1st year. She has been wearing her old ones-which are a different prescription- for 2 weeks now. They finally called to let us know that they are in - too late to get them before they closed for the weekend. We'll try again on Monday.

I don't think I ever wrote about my horrifying "let's try contacts again" experiment.   When I made my eye doctor's appointment, I signed up for a contact lens exam as well. It was going find until they tried to put the contacts in my eyes. The first time it took her, I kid you not, 10 tries to get the left eye in. Nothing I like better than having a stranger poke me in the eye repeatedly. Once it was finally in...everything was blurry. Right eye - not as bad (maybe 4 tries?), but still blurry. Out came the left eye - a couple of tries there, too - and she fetched a new type of lens. Lens #2 - another 10 tries in the left eye to get it in and...unbelilevably blurry. It was like all of a sudden I was legally blind. I couldn't see ANYTHING except fuzz and it was making me dizzy to keep my eyes open. Frustrated, she got the doctor who looked and determined that the left eye lens was not tracking right with my asygmatism and we needed to try a different lens. A new helper lady came in and told me to take the lens out. Ummm....new patient here...don't know HOW to take it out. She came over and started digging around at my eye. After several tries - "ha, ha, this is a tough one!" - she got it out and fetched the other one. I was so traumatized at that point from having people touching my eyeball repeatedly that I told her to stop, to please take out the right eye, and to end the exam.  At this point I had been there for almost 2 hours and was frazzled and ready to go. So I left, politely declined the offer to dilate my eyes, and prepared to pay $100 for the 2 hours of torture. I was quite shocked when they didn't charge me for the aborted contacts portion of the day.

So, it looks like I am just not meant to wear contacts.

We are in the process of rearranging my office. I am not the proud owner of a lovely desk my dad built which had been in their basement collecting dust (or so they say). It fits where my old desk used to be, which frees up that desk for K. Unfortunately, my old desk is big and clunky and having the 2 desks in the room together, plus the pig (the pig who will never die, I'm convinced)...well, it's a little cramped. I'd still like to get a smaller, more streamlined desk for the little person, but this will have to work for a while at least. Unfortunately, both desks are currently in a state of extreme disarray. Also, the "new" desk does not have a key board tray which is going to be really hard on my wrists and arms. Even putting my chair all the way up, it is not high enough. B is going go get the hardwear and a piece of wood for me eventually, but in the meantime...I'll have to find non-typing things to work on!

Kocoa is doing okay now. B picked up a couple of cans of gluten free doggie wet food rather than the hamburger and rice and Kocoa LOVES that. He geta a spoonful of it mixed with his pills and dry food and gobbles it right down. He is still gagging/choking, but not as frequently and he seems to be happy with life again.

Happy that is unless Pippi is 1) biting him to get him to play, 2) jumping on him to get him to play, or 3) standing on him like she has just scaled Mt. Kocoa and is claiming it in the name of all puppydom. Then he is not so happy. They are both pleased with the warmer weather - lying in the sun in front of the door or on the deck for hours. Neither was thrilled with all the rain we got over the last couple of days though. I just hope we can keep her out of the garden come summer.

We booked our trip to Washington DC for this Spring. We're going when K has a day off from school near the end of the year. I found what looks like a nice hotel that got great reviews in Rockville, MD. It is a short walk to the metro and then a short ride into the city. I haven't figured out our itinerary yet, but the plan is to take K to the a few of the Smithsonian museums and then see the monuments/memorials. We are only staying overnight and will leave to come home whenever we are ready on the 2nd day. We are also going to do a day trip with my parents to NYC at the end of this month. A visit to the American Girl Store, Tiffanys, Rockafeller Center, and some touristy walking around and then on home by evening. I'm really looking forward to both trips.

a free night

2011-02-28T19:44:00.000-05:00

On day 1 of TGFNGSoS (thank God for no girl scouts or swimming) we walked Pippi, we made a real dinner, we played with our 30 year old and 15 year old legos.

Here are some of our creations.

K's general store

the town, complete with hospital and police stations.

See if you can guess who made which of the following?

House - complete with working windmill and solar panels?

Giant tank with ray guns?

We are nothing if not predictable, I guess.

Does your face hurt? 'Cause its killing me!

2011-02-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

The other day at dinner K stopped eating and said, "Damn cell. Damn cell. What's a damn cell?" B and I just looked at each other and then at her. "What?" I asked. "What's a damn cell?" she replied. "Where did you see or hear that, honey?" I asked while all kinds of sceanrios went through my head. "In my book." I looked at B for help. "Do you mean damsel?" he wondered. "Yes! Damn cell, what's a damn cell?" So we explained what a damsel is and how to pronounce it. It was kind of funny. She is still calling it a damn cell though.

I am so sick of feeling crappy. The cold, which kicked my sorry butt last week, persisted over the weekend though I started to feel a little better by Sunday. I was still dragging and congested when monday rolled around, but I just figured it was hanging on for extra long for some reason. By Wednesday morning though my face felt like someone was standing on it and it hurt to even touch my cheek which was puffy. Even though I felt horrid, I decided to give it another day and see how I felt on Thursday. I felt AWFUL. As soon as the doctor's office opened I called and got an appointment for yesterday afternoon. I'm not sure I like a doctor who just kind of agrees with my daignosis of a sinus infection, but I guess other than my assessment of my symptoms she didn't have much else to go on. So, I am on biaxin for 10 days which I'm told is a z-pack on steroids. Whatever it is, it's nasty. I knew it wasn't going to be good when the side effects virtually guaranteed diarreah, and it hasn't failed to deliver in that regard. I am now sick to my stomach and have a horrible taste in my mouth in addition to feeling like someone is standing on my right cheek. Yay.

This afternoon we have an appointment at St. Catharine's. We have decided that K is going to start going there for 4th grade. I can't stand Antietam anymore. Never mind the student teacher who things "Otto had went to the airshow" is correct grammar and told the students so now they have dropped all "extra" classes like science and reading to focus on the PSSAs. They are behind in math, apprently, so all that time formerly wasted on non-PSSA test subjects has been dropped in favor of preparing for the PSSAs. After all, it is much more important that they qualify for their federal funding than that the kids actually learn anything. I am livid and there is NOTHING I can do about it. The only thing I am worried about for next year is that K will be far behind and struggle to catch up. We are going to talk about curriculum today and I will spend the summer getting her prepped for 4th grade. Here I thought 3rd grade would get her prepped for 4th grade, but what do I know? I'm really excited about her going to St. Cat's next year. I am not liking the crap she is exposed to in public school - the way kids dress, the way they talk, the things they talk ABOUT (oy!), the general philosophy of "anything goes," the time they spend watching movies rather than learning, etc. I want her to pray every day WITH other people, I want her to be able to freely worship God in public without feeling strange or odd or feeling like she has to hide her love of Jesus. I want her to be around other asian children where mocking because you look different is not tolerated and sadly, St. Cat's has more asian students than our district. I just hope they are as happy to have us as we will be to be there!

Pippi is growing like a weed - she weighs about 25 pounds and is able to jump about 5 feet in the air. She is so naughty though. She has figured out how to jump over the garden fense and gets in there and tears around through the leaves we have down as compost happy as a clam. When I call her she hops out over the fense and comes charging up on the porch to come in. Yesterday I walked out of the kitchen and she was ON the dining room table. What the heck? She is still having accidents when she gets excited which is really annoying. Yesterday K and I came home from swim practice and Pippi was so excited she peed on the couch.

Monday we took Kocoa to the vet fully thinking that we were going to have to put him down this week. $260 later which includes 2 chest x-rays (not an easy feat since he is terrified of all things vet related), we determiend that the huffing/coughing/gagging is due to an enlarged lymph node at the base of his heart. So, we know the cancer is progressing (shocker). There is nothing we can do about that, but there was also some inflammation in his lungs the cause of which they coudn't identify. Could be cancer, I guess, could be an infection. He is now on 12 pills a day - 8 antibiotic and 4 brochial-dilator (asthma). When they told me they wanted to try the asthma medicine all I could think of was having to give him a puffer. That would be fun. The nice thing about it is he is feeling SO much better. He is stil huffing/coughing/gagging, but he has more energy and his tail is wagging again and he is LOVING the peanut butter he gets with his pills. Pippi would like to love the peanut butter too - she goes frigging NUTS when B gets it out. I am just glad that Kocoa is hurting so much right now. So, we'll have him for a little while longer. He is such a trooper.

Have I mentioned how much I hate girl scout cookies? I love to eat them, but the selling things...not so much. Our cookie mom's numbers are off by almost 3 cases, which means we are going to have to pay for cookies we do not have and did not get to eat. I'm not sure how that is possible, but...I guess I should just be glad I am not in charge of the cookies?

K's swim season officially ends tomorrow afternoon. We are headed to southern NJ for a meet. Her last practice is tonight. I am looking forward to spending the free time reading with her and, once the weather is nicer, walking the dog, playing outside, etc.

The plague

2011-02-18T15:05:00.000-05:00

This was my day yesterday: make tea, blow nose, drink tea, blow nose, go to a meeting, blow nose, reheat tea, blow nose, use bathroom, blow nose, drink tea, blow nose, go to a meeting, blow nose, use bathroom, blow nose, etc. Eight glorious hours. It was fabulous.

Today, working from home this has been my day: Blow nose, try to hack goop out of chest, make tea, drink tea, use bathroom, hack, use bathroom again, drink more tea, use bathroom again, blow nose, drink more tea. Etc. In between trying to type up my notes for class next Wednesday.

I skipped the gym yesterday due to lack of sleep but I went today. B thought I was being stubborn and stupid and as it turns out, he was right. I sound like a trucker with a sore throat and would like to curl up on the couch and go to sleep. At one point I was able to cough a big blob of flem out of place and I sounded like myself with a sore throat...but now I am back to my 2-pack-a-day voice.

K and B are both off today and took Pippi to Daniel Boone to walk around and meet the horses. She must have had fun because she slept for a good 2 hours afterwards! K said it feels like summer, which compared to last week, I agree. Of course we are supposed to get snow and cold rain at the beginning of next week so it will be back to reality.

B and I actualy have a free evening tonight - K is going to swim practice with her friend so I can veg out on the couch with the dogs. Maybe drink some more tea. Gag.

I mentioned that I am teaching a class at work - and I use "teaching" loosely. We are putting on the class that I went to Oregon last summer to learn how to teach. It is me and the other instructor splitting the teaching, which works pretty well. Although, I am dismayed at the differences in our levels of preparation - he was totally unprepared for the afternoon session this week. That ticked me off b/c he had refused to give me a straight answer about whether he was doing it or wanted me to do it and so I ended up spending a day typing notes and preparing and then he wanted to do it. Somehow I ended up not only as the instructor, but also the person in charge of organizing the class. The woman who was handling logistics left and took another job and no one else was hired for her position. So this project sat. And sat. Until finally I realized that if I wanted handouts for the class or other speakers to cover the agenda that I was going to have to do it. So now I am spending large portions of the week copying handouts, doing agendas, making sure everything goes smoothly, and otherwise being in charge of it, while still trying to prepare my portions of the class for instruction AND get my regular work done. Fun. I'm getting a bunch of comp time hours though which will be good for the summer!

2011-02-14T18:19:00.000-05:00

B gave me his cold. I'm not sure why I can manage not to share MY germs with the rest of the house and he can't....oh wait, yes I can. It's because I wash my hands incessantly when I am sick and also wipe down every surface in the house with clorox wipes whereas he lays in bed or on the couch piling up used tissues and hacking all over everyone. Jerk. Yesterday I asked him, after he stayed home from church to rest, whether he was sick, sick, or just sick like a man. He didn't appreciate the question. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure he feels lousy. He is super congested and can't breathe and I'm sure he feels wiped out and tired and yucky and he has a bad sinus headache from all the snot. But...he's also a man and thus prone to dramatics and gross exaggeration when it comes to illness. I need to work on my sympathy.

And now I have it. I can feel the drip starting down the back of my throat. By tomorrow it will be here in full force and of course I have to teach again on Wednesday. Peachy.

I just got distracted by the BEAUTIFUL sunrise out my office window. Wow.

K was sick too last week - she definitely didn't swm her best on Saturday at champs and was already acting like she was coming down with something though at the time we attributed it to the COLD temperatures at the Hill School (her lips turned blue after the 50 free) and the early hour of the meet. She was off her times in everything and got DQd in the 50 free for missing the wall. She did manage to get 4 ribbons though, 5th and 7th for the relays, and 11th and 17th for back stroke and 25 freestyle. She was very tired after the meet (as were we all!) and we just sat around for the rest of the day. The next day though she was running a fever and had a sore throat and was very clingy and by Monday morning she had a 104 fever and was lethargic and feeling miserable. She stayed home from school and laid on the couch marinating in her own juices all day. The high point of the day was a visit from grand-mom and grand-dad who came bearing I Love Lucy and chocolate chip cookies. She missed school again on Tuesday and I stayed home with her watching a Survivor Man marathon and trying to straighten up a bit. She was back to school on Wednesday, much to her chagrin (grand-mom's and more Lucy sounded better than a Science test, apparently).

While she was cooking and stewing on Monday, Pippi decided to take care of her a bit.

Slurp!

Mom! Pippi's breath stinks!

On the positive front - I have been sleeping MUCH better. Still not perfect, but better. At least until last night when Pippi woke me up at 2:12am to go outside. I had trouble falling back to sleep and was so tired when the alarm went off I ended up not swimming today. It's probably a good thing b/c I think I am over training and I need to cut back on days of exercise. My weight hasn't changed much but I am feeling a bit skeletal. I think I might go back to swimming 2 days a week like I used to and sticking to about 2.5 miles instead of 3.5 or 4. On swim days I find myself actually hating to go to the gym and get in the water. Although...on the other hand, I love swimming once I am IN the water moving and the 45 minutes goes quickly. But...on the OTHER other hand...what the hell am I training for? For a while there after Christmas I thought about training to swim masters, but why? I was a mediocre swimmer when I was young and I don't really have the motivation or desire to be a good one now. I just like to swim. Anyway.

We've had to cover the pig cage with a blanket b/c Pippi goes frigging nuts everytime she sees the pig. This way...out of site out of mind. Of course the poor pig now lives in dark seclusion much of the time, but...it's better than being driven to your death my incessant baying. I wonder if I can cover myself with a blanket when she goes crazy in the evening and get her to leave me alone? Hmmmmm....

Pippi had a bath yesterday because she STANK. She has a completely different coat than Kocoa - Kocoa sort of self cleans with his thick undercoat and natural oils. Pippi just shed and smells bad. She was a little scraed of the bath was generally cooperative. We tried to keep her ears dry too and boy, she smelled SO much better after wards. I think we'll have to do this kind of regularly now.

K started Korean school on Saturday. We found out about it sort of (very) round about. At dinner for Lunar New Year (Morroccon BBQ place at Fairgrounds Mall - yuck) last weekend, another mom and I were chatting and she said, "oh, doyou know Paula so-and-so? Her son is Korean and she comes to some of these events." Anyway, Paula told her about Korean school being held at United Methodist in West Lawn (BEAUTIFUL church) by the Pastor's wife, who is Korean. She took my info and gave me hers and encouraged me to call. With K being sick immediately afterwards and me preparing for a class I was teaching, I totally forgot about it until I got a call on Friday from the friend who had the pastor's wife at her house. Long story short, K and I joined them for class on Saturday and registered her for this semester. It is every other Saturday for an hour with 5 other kids, all about the same age, one of whom she already knows. Between the one boy, whose every word was either fart or booger and who couldn't sit still, and the fact that it is only an hour, there won't be much learning going on, but at least it gets her some time with other Korean kids and adults and lets her learn more about her birth country. She loved it. I loved it. The teacher is darling and immediately e-mailed me all of the activities they had done the prior week. God answers prayers, you know?

Of course, I'd like to take some of her "cool" friends at school and throttle them since K is now trying hard to sound "cool" by talking to us (and others) like she can't be bothered with the little people anymore or like she just discovered something gross on the bottom of her shoe. Lots of signing and obnoxious tones of voice. We had a nice discussion about whether she would feel cool when I make her stand in the corner or smack her butt in front of her equally cool friends for using that tone of voice with me again. Ahem. We're working on it. And then she'll turn around and have a birthday party for her Snoopy blanket. He turned 8 this month and we had a cake for him at dinner last night. Or she'll sit on my lap when I go have lunch with her at school (like today)? Heaven help me in the coming years if this is how it is at 8. I'm so confused.

I've decided to retire from singing. Mostly b/c I stink. Maybe when cold season is over (and allergy season begins), I will have a voice again. Or maybe I never actually did. Funny story....Saturday night I was doing multimedia so B could set up for the boys champs at the Y. Midway though the 1st song, a woman came up to the front and told me that she would take over for me so I could go sing, which I promptly did - marching across the altar with my pocketbook and setting up my mic stand and grabbing a tamborine mid song. Pastor liked it so much he worked it into his sermon at all three services. The funny part is that when he described it at the 9am service, the service at which I usually sing, no one blinked. No one moved. Not a single soul, even those that know HOW to do it, offered to do multimedia so I could go sing at this service too. My conclusion is that the general consensus is that our congregation is better served by me being silent behind a computer than having a microphone in my hand. I tend to agree. But, it made me chuckle.

After church yesterday we went to our 2nd cookie booth - the 1st was last Sunday. Have I mentioned that I hate selling G.S. Cookies? I do. All of mine are gone (praise God!) but I still have to worry about what we have left as a Troop and the irate parent who insisted that he/she will NOT pay for any of the cookies he/she was forced to take. Lovely. We have gotten rid of most of those, thankfully.