Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Watching Alaska


I am confused.  Is it Spring or Winter?  After a gorgeous 60 degree day on Saturday, the cold air has returned (20 yesterday AM) and yesterday it snowed.  WTHeck??  I had to put on the full, weirdo-winter gear to walk the dogs this week and break out the heavy winter coat for work.  I saw a cute picture on facebook with a little bird clutching a snow covered branch asking, “Spring forward?  How frigging far did you throw it?”  or something like that.
I am struggling with an overwhelming desire to call off work, find a place that is quiet and dark, and sleep for three days.  No particular reason…or at least none that I care to get into in detail at the moment in a public forum.  I have tons of vacation and sick leave stored up, so I could take a couple of WEEKS off without even feeling it.  But, I have so much work to do, I feel like I can’t spare even a day off right now.   Huh.  Perhaps THAT is contributing to the desire to sleep for days?
This weekend we headed up to State College to 1) visit my in-laws for Christmas (yes, Christmas – we kept hoping they would come down for a visit and to see K swim and well…then it was March) and 2) watch some of Y States.  We headed out after breakfast on Sunday and about half way there I thought to ask B if he had remembered the Christmas presents (yes, Christmas presents) for his parents and niece.  Nope.  Brilliant.  We brought Stromboli with us for lunch (super greasy, yuck) and hung out watching basketball for a couple of hours before heading up to campus. We waited in line for ice cream at the Creamery behind Purdue’s softball team.  Ironically, my sister and my oldest niece were visiting Purdue at the same time, so I texted her and then queried the Purdue coaches for good places for them to go to dinner near campus.  Small world.  K got a cone of lemon sherbet and B and I shared a cone of chocolate while we headed to the natatorium for the meet.  It was, literally, standing room only, and we ended up in the balcony at the turn end of the pool – great view.  No one could hear us cheering, but we were still there routing for our team and some kids from Reading’s team.  We could see the awards podium really well and got some decent pictures.  B had inventory the next morning so we, unfortunately, had to leave before the meet was over.  
I was disappointed overall with our team’s “spirit.”  Reading’s parents all sat together in a big clump and cheered like crazy for all the team swimmers.  Ours sat…scattered and left as soon as their kids were done.  I even got a “why are you here?” from one parent.  The attitude made me uncomfortable.   Because I want to see my swimmers?  If I could have been there the whole weekend, I would have.  Heaven knows I’m not good enough to COACH at States, but I am good enough to WATCH aren’t I?
Speaking of uncomfortable, I had my first ever “review” after 3 full seasons of coaching.  It was a little bizarre.   My "supervisor" couldn't find the evaluations, and spent way more time talking about how stressed she is about personal things (I feel a great deal of compassion for her as a human being) than discussing my "performance."  She did say repeatedly that I do an excellent job at whatever it is I do, how much she appreciates my willingness to sub and step in where needed, how I get back to her quickly and keep her informed, etc.  But she kept saying how I am a "brand new coach" and with the emphasis there and on how hard I “try to learn.” When I left I felt….deflated.  There was no opportunity to have a discussion, no chance for me to say anything, and the comments section on my newly completed evaluation form was completely blank.  I felt worse about coaching when I left than I ever had, even with what amounted to copious, albeit somewhat backhanded, praise. 
K and I have enjoyed the time off swimming. and it makes me not want to go back.  She is taying in shape by swimming on her own (or with me) 3 times a week, but during the week she is home by the time I get home from work and we can relax, have dinner, do homework, and read/watch TV together instead of rushing in different directions or seeing each other in passing at the Y.  Now that "Downton Abbey" is over, we are loving "When Calls the Heart" on Hallmark but the series finale is this week, so we will need to find something else.  We also really like "Buying Alaska" and "Buying the Bayou" – two shows on one of the 850 channels we have which local real estate agents show people three different properties in Alaska or Louisiana/Alabama.  B and I would love, LOVE, to move to Alaska.  Get away from people, hunt moose and caribou, fish for salmon, live off the land.  Mostly we like to imagine the get away from people part.   My cousin lives outside of Fairbanks (Hi, N!) and we envy the life she and her family have built, although I am sure it is super hard to be cold all the time and so far from family.   I wish Alaska wasn’t so far away!  It’s not like we could pop over for a weekend and scope out the area, or go interview for jobs, or look at houses…so it will just stay a dream for us until we are old enough to retire at which point we will be too old to move to Alaska.

1 comment:

  1. Aw, would love to have you up here!! Trust me, you and the Fam would really love it!* perhaps each of you for different reasons, but that is the fun*,love u, n

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